I laid in the hospital bed trying to keep the florescent lights from bothering me and just focus on the body of my daughter laying down beside me asleep.
Asleep and safe.
So much had happened and I want to think about it but my mind felt numb. Way too much had happened. To many close calls with Sienna and I possibly ending up six feet down. I was stupid running in there alone but I had to at the moment. At least I was smart enough to call upon Tatt, I always knew he would be there within a second, even from the first day I set eyes upon him.
I kissed Sienna’s head grateful that she was unharmed besides a few scrapes and bruises.
I looked up from Sienna trying to see Tatt through the doors of my ER room, ever since we got to the hospital he had been distant, refusing to meet my eye or stay with me to even talk. Part of me wants to ask all the questions to figure out what the hell happened to lead up to this nightmare and the other wants to just be thankful for getting out of it alive and to go home with him and my daughter.
Hearing boots my heart sped up wanting nothing more than to wrap my arms around Tatt but that quickly vanished when Spotter knocked on the room’s door. “Doc said you’ll be discharged soon. Your car is upfront, want me to take Sienna?”
Sighing I nodded bending down to kiss her forehead as Spotter walked over to us. “Yes, thank you. It’s time to take her home where she belongs. Hey have you seen Tatt around here? I haven’t seen him since you guys brought us in.”
Spotter bent down picking up Sienna, the exhausted girl not even moving in his arms. “No. I’ll find him and send him in though.”
“No need to thank me Raven.” With that he turned and walked out of the room making me take a deep breath reminding myself that Spotter would protect Sienna and won’t let her get taken again. It’s going to take away to calm down from all of this, isn’t it?
A new knock on the door drew me from my thoughts seeing Doc walk in. “Hey got your discharge papers, just need to check your wounds one more time then I’ll let you out.”
Smiling at her she gathered us some new bandages and antibiotics. “Thank you for pushing for me to get out of here and home. I can’t even think about spending the night here right now, probably lose my mind.”
“It did take some convincing but I have a high enough position here that they respect my demands.” Doc said looking at my shoulder wound, checking the stitches on the through bullet hole.
“Pretty cool seeing you at your work place, badass in and out of scrubs.”
“Don’t forget it.” Doc winked finishing up with my shoulder then checking my side. “You were lucky it is just a graze, keep the stitches dry and clean. I also have some antibiotics for you to take to keep any infection from coming on.” Doc says pulling my shirt down over the bandages.
With a sigh I nod, my eyes were heavy and all I wanted to do was curled up in bed with Sienna safe with me at home with Tatt being beside us. “Thanks Doc.” I muttered to her as I took the medication she handed me.
She smiled at me, “anytime Raven. I’m glad you and Sienna are okay. Though I will kick your ass if you go alone when you are in trouble ever again. Come on, you know I got skills would have been perfect backup.”
I let out a dry laugh, “I know. I just wasn’t thinking saw a chance and took it without thinking it through. Think I should stick to horses and not go into spy work…”
Doc laughed. “Good idea.”
A presence at the door pulled both our attention, my breath hitching when I see that Tatt has finally come in. There was something in his eyes that is different though, a haunted look that made my stomach drop as if it could tell it wasn’t a good sign.
“Hey.” I said as Doc cleaned up the used bandages and took my IV out.
“I’ll leave you guys; just sign the discharge papers and you are all set. Call me if anything feels off or in pain okay?” Doc said as I nodded still not taking my eyes off Tatt.
Doc left the room leaving it in a weird, awkward silence. Tatt stayed on the opposite side of the room staring at his boots.
“Is everything okay Tatt?” I asked not sure what to think about his strange behaviour, him still not making eyes contact or being near me.
Tatt let out a dry laugh. “Okay? I should be asking you that, you’re the one who got your kid kidnapped and then shot by a psychopathic stalker of mine.”
I sighed sitting up on the bed and brought my legs up crossing them. “Yeah… good point but it’s over now and I’ll process it on a later date. Just want to go home.”
He let out another harsh laugh pushing himself off the wall and began to pace the room. “Over? Yeah its over she is dead so she is over hurting you.”
Nodding slowly, I watched him. “Yeah it’s over with her. So, it’s okay now. She was obsessed with you huh?”
“Yep.” Tatt said taking a harsh breath in. “She killed a bunch of girls over the months, ones I had been with in order to make sure I went back to her. Then she took Sienna when she thought that was the reason we were together. Guess it was good she did that instead of putting a needle with heroin in you.”
“She murdered those women?” I gapped at him.
“Yep. So, tonight was lucky she didn’t kill you and Sienna.” He said with a bitter tone.
Nodding I figured why he was acting the way he was. “You feel guilt and your mad that I went alone. It’s not your fault Tat and I get you being mad at me. I don’t have anything to say to that right now just that I did what I had to in the moment to get to my daughter before, as you just said she is a serial killer, she would kill my daughter. Let’s just go home and talk about this later? I just want to go to bed with you and Sienna.”
Tatt stopped his pacing. “Not that simple.”
“How is it not that simple?” I asked confused.
“We can’t do this.”
“This.” He said turning. “This is my life Raven. These kinds of nights happen more often than you would think. You and Sienna don’t belong in this life, you have already had your fill of it.”
“You’re kidding right now, right?” I asked sliding off the bed, a sharp pain on my side making me grab my side as I glared at Tatt. “Are we going to do this again? Where we going over talking about what we deserve, you and I both struggle to decide whether or not to date because of our lives? We did that and now you want to do it again?”
“Raven. This is different. You and Sienna were almost killed.”
“Yeah I know I was there, felt the bullet, pulled the trigger so I am pretty aware of the last few hours.” I said, my eyebrow raising not wanting to know where this fight will go.
Tatt took a breath looking at me. “We need to end this Raven, end this now before either of you get killed. I thought we could make it work but it’s obvious I can’t. I am sorry.”
I let out a chuckle before seeing that he was serious. “You want to break up? Is this about ‘deserving’ or not ‘deserving’ the things that happen to us? Tatt this wasn’t your fault, it was Stacy’s you can’t blame yourself for it or think that us splitting it the answer. I don’t blame you, just take me home and we talk about this tomorrow.”
I made a step forward to go to him to stop these thoughts, it’s been a crazy couple of days and in no way do I want Tatt and I to break up. “I don’t want to play house with you Sienna.” He said it so harshly that it stopped my movements.
“What?” I gapped at him.
“I don’t want to play house with another man’s child.” He said back making me flinch.
“I want to fight Tatt.” I said after a moment of silence between us, me needing the silence to prepare my heart and know what to say. “I want to yell at you that it is not your decision to make. That you blaming yourself for this and saying that we shouldn’t be together because of the dangers of your life is a bullshit excuse. But you saying you don’t want to play house is what is stopping me from this bullshit.”
“It’s not bullshits! This needs to happen, safety for you and more biker ways for me.”
“YES, IT IS!” I shouted at him, hurt replaced by anger. “You are letting your fear of what happened dictate your head! So here you are breaking things off because you are scared that what? You will lose us?”
He shook his head. “You don’t get it. I saw what having a family will be and I don’twant it. This is ending between us Raven, was great while it lasted but we can’t kid ourselves that it would have survived any longer.”
I let out a puff of air taking a small step back. “You’re a coward Tatt.” I said the words as my heart shattered. “You are still the kid your parents left at the club and I wish I could be with you to help you with that pain but I have daughter in the car that I need to go be with.” I grabbed the discharge papers just needing to make sure my daughter is still okay. “I guess it’s a good thing you showed me who you are before I fell totally in love with you. Thanks for coming tonight.”
With that I walked out of the room ignoring the loud bang that came from my room.