Loving Ammah

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Chapter 45

Dahiru Ringim's POV


"Daddy do we have to eat together? I prefer eating alone" Safinat complained as she sits on one of the chairs on the dinning table.

"Yes we have too, we are family" I replied and she groan.

"We are not a family without Amma" she mumbled eating

"She is in a better place, insha Allah" I pray and they all mutter insha Allah.

"Where is Faisal?" I asked

"He went out" Amnat answered

"It's dinner time and he is not home yet"

"I'm not a kid, I can come back any time I feel like" a voice snapped and Ameera ran to hug him.

"Well then since I'm home now, there will be curfew time" I said sternly

"You don't own me" he barked

"I was the reason you came inside this world" I challenge "Everybody should be home before ten" I add

"Seriously what am I? Five?" He asked sarcastically sitting down.

"I've said what I want now you obey"

"Whatever" he mumbled as I try to make a conversation with my kids but none of them seem to be interested.

"I'm going to bed, goodnight" Amnat said as she cleared her plate.

"Me too" Safinat said leaving.

"Daddy, can I sleep with you today?" Ameera asked

"Of course princess" I replied

"Ameera go and ask one of your sisters to give you a bath" Faisal command she nod her head "don't forget to brush your teeth" he add

"I'm proud of you son"

"Listen, I only called you because aunty Uwani insisted. I still haven't forgotten how you threatened to disown me that day. I'm sorry to say but I've lost all respect I've ever had for you, I don't think everything will ever be normal between us we can only pretend it is for the sake of your reputation. You killed my amma and I'll never forget the pain you caused for her.. You didn't even show up for her janaiza, you accused her for something she never did and wallahi Allah will ask you cause you picked on an innocent soul. I suggest you go and thank Allah cause before amma's last breath all she said was I forgive Dahiru, I forgive my husband before saying her shahadah and returning to her lord. You should be glad that such a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart married you in the first place and upon all the sadness you bought in her life she forgave you. Amma might have forgiven but I haven't and i don't think I'll ever forgive you. Do you even know what I went through after her death? I was forced to act strong for my siblings.. For Ameera. It takes a great amount of courage for someone to do what I did for my siblings when they have a dad.. Alive and enjoying life. I cry my self to sleep every single night ever since amma died but I made sure no one heard my sobs or found out about my situation. Do you even know how much this sucks? When your here living your life miserably while your father is in another country with his other wife and children. I had to walk past the rumors or more like the truth when people were talking about how Dahiru Ringim didn't show for his wife's Janaiza. It hurt so bad. My life sucks men and that's all thanks to you. I called you for one reason.. I called you here you tell you that I am getting MARRIED! whether you give your blessings or not.. I'm freaking getting married in two months!" He yelled and leave the dinning table living me drowning in my thoughts.

If only I could go back to the past. I would have made sure none of this happened. If Faisal doesn't forgive me I don't blame or judge him. I deserve worst and they deserve the best in life.

If I could do this all over.

If only, I could.

Faisal's POV

I couldn't sleep that night I poured out my feelings to Dahiru Ringim, I couldn't sleep. I need to talk to someone before I go mad. I pick up my phone and call Abba but he didn't pick.. Obviously he won't pick, it's two in the middle of the freaking night.

I decide to call Ammah and after two rings she pick.

"Faisal? Are you okay?" she asked in her sleepy voice worried

"No baby, I'm not" I admit as I cry

"What happened? Is everything okay?" She asked now clearly awake. "Faisal please talk to me, I'm dead worried" she cried when I didn't say anything.

"I'm tired" I whispered

"Tired of what?" She asked

"I'm tired of faking I'm okay"

"Do you want me to come over?" She whispered

"It's two am, you can't come here. I'll be fine"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I promise" I said and we both keep quite listening to each other's heavy breathings.

"Talk to me. Baby na. Please just talk to me, say anything. Even if it's rubbish.. Talk!" She beg

"I can't wait for the day I will sleep in your arms" I start imagining her face going red "the day I'll listen to your heartbeat until I fall asleep. The day I'll kiss you till we both run out of breath, I can't wait for the day I'll make love to you. The day I'll wake up only to find you in bed next to me, to hear your soft snores when you sleep, to feel your hands in my hair making me go insanely mad and wild for you. I can't wait for the day you will hug me when I'm having a bad night and tell me it will be okay even if it won't be okay. The day you will let me cry on your shoulders and tell you everything I'm going through. I can't wait to kiss you.. To feel your lips on mine as I hug you tightly to my body. I can't wait for the day you will be known to the world as Ammah Faisal Dahiru not Ammah Rabiu Alkali. Baby Ammah?" I finished and I feel her breath hitched and my body aches to feel her body on mine.

"Hmm?" She moaned and I chuckle.

"Sorry for disturbing your beauty sleep"

"It's okay, I was actually awake"

"Doing what?"

"Thinking about you" she replied and I smile.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

"Go to sleep now, it's late"

"You go to sleep and put the phone on speaker then keep it next to you. I'll sleep when your asleep" she said and I did as she said. I remove my shirt and lay on my stomach.

"Goodnight" I whispered

"Goodnight my love" she whispered back and I smile already feeling sleepy.

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