There was banging on the door and yelling, meaning only one thing, McKenna. When I opened the door she was fuming.
“So guess my surprise when I opened my mail today. Finding your mom wants custody of my daughter.” She walked past me and slammed the papers down on the table so I could read them. I haven’t seen my mom since I was five and now she wants my daughter.
“She’s not getting her, she is mine. What did you do, go tell her I was keeping her from you.” I shook my head, in surprise.
“No, I haven’t seen her since I was five.” She stopped and looked at me confused. I grabbed a beer and offered her one and surprisingly she took it. We went into the living room sitting down.
“My dad and I were at one of my practices and when we came home all of her things were gone. I haven’t seen her since that morning. I don’t know how she knows you or that we have a daughter together.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I realize I pretty much did the same thing my mom did to Sophia.”
“No, you are a great dad. You have come a long way.”
“She had you and I felt that you were all she needed.”
“She needs us both. Yes, she may have needed me a little more in the beginning, but that’s only because I have boobs. Rickey, she loves her daddy and wants you around.”
“I am getting better.”
“You are, you have come a long way.” We took a sip of our beers and just sighed.
“Can I ask you something?” She asked.
“Why do you think she would want custody?”
“I have no idea. Just know there is no way she is getting custody. I would not let her take our daughter from you.”
“I want things to be better between us too.”
“I want that too, we need to be civil for Sophia.”
“I’m so sorry for how I treated you back then. I didn’t want to get too attached to anyone.”
“You were scared we would leave like your mom.”
“Yea, I was out of my element when I found out about the baby. She didn’t deserve me as a father.”
We talked for a while and had a few more drinks.
“I should go.” She stood up as I grabbed her hand.
“McKenna, you’ve been drinking.”
“I’m fine.” She stood up and stumbled a little bit.
“You can crash in my room and I will sleep on the couch.” She nodded and I brought her to my room giving some clothes to change into.
“The bathroom is right there.” I grabbed some clothes and went to change, waiting a couple of minutes to check on her. After a couple of minutes I walked in to find that she was in the shower I grabbed a blanket and pillow heading back to the couch. Once I was finally comfortable I heard the door open.
“Rickey.” She whispered.
“McKenna, go back to bed.”
“But I’m cold.”
“I don’t have any more blankets.” She sighed and I heard her move closer and then she moved the blankets. Before I knew it, she was cuddled into my side with my arms around her.
“You’re warm.” I kissed her forehead and held her to warm her up.
“I’m so sorry.”
She looked up at me and our eyes locked before I looked down at her lips. I couldn’t take it anymore I already had her in my arms I needed to feel her lips against mine. She never stopped me as I leaned in, pressing my lips to hers. She tasted as amazing as she did last time. Before things went too far I pulled away and she just curled up to me falling asleep. I knew the right thing to do was to take her back into my room, but I wasn’t ready to let go yet, so I fell asleep.
I woke up with arms wrapped around me tightly. It took me a minute to realize I wasn’t in my apartment. I was at Rickey’s, with his arms around me. Slowly I moved the blanket finding us both in clothes, but I was wearing his clothes.
“Shit.” I pushed his arms off of me and went to find my clothes. I heard him groan as I finally found my clothes and quickly changed into them.
“What the hell happened?” I hissed.
“You took a shower and I gave you clothes to sleep in. You were supposed to sleep in my bed while I was out here, but you came out here shaking and curled up to me. Nothing happened last night, I just held you to stop you from shaking. ”
“What am I going to do? Colin’s going to kill me.”
“I have to go.” I grabbed my things and went back to my apartment. Sophia is with my mom, so I know she is taken care of.
When I walked into my room there was Colin curled up sleeping. He stirred as I set my stuff down and tried to leave the room.
“Hey.” He said groggily.
“Hey, I’m going to shower.” I quickly went into the bathroom and started the shower getting in. The door opened and Colin got in the shower, wrapping his arms around me.
“I missed you.” He pulled my lips to his, and then last night came flooding in. Rickey had kissed me and I kissed him back, but he stopped before anything happened. Tears filled my eyes and I sobbed pulling away from Collin.
“Baby what’s wrong?”
“You should go.”
“What why?” I pushed him away.
“I just want to be alone please.”
“Please.” He pulled away leaving me alone. Once I heard him leave I got out and curled on my bed. Why didn’t he tell me we kissed? I heard the doorbell go off so I got up and went to the door finding my little brother.
“You look like shit,” Gavin smirked.
“I’m not in the mood, what do you want?”
“Came to hang out with my sister, where’s my niece?”
“She’s with mom.”
“Tell me what’s wrong, did Colin do something?”
“No, it’s not him.”
“Then tell me.” We went into the living room and he pulled me into his arms.
“I made a mistake last night. I stayed with Rickey last night.”
“Am I getting another niece?” I punched him hard making him groan.
“Sorry, what happened?”
“We started drinking and talking. When I wanted to leave he wouldn’t let me because I had been drinking. He gave me clothes and I took a shower. I was supposed to sleep in his bed while he was on the couch, but I ended up curled up to him. We kissed too and it probably would have gone further if he didn’t stop.”
“Do you have feelings for him?”
“He’s Sophia’s dad.” I sighed.
“That’s not what I asked.”
“No. I shouldn’t have stayed, I should have called someone.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I didn’t think about it, nothing was going to happen.”
“Are you going to tell Colin?”
“I have to.”
“It’s going to be okay.”
“I’m going to have him come back over.”
“What about Soph?”
“Will you tell her I love her and I will see her later?”
“Yea, but remember she needs you too and she’s probably missing you like crazy.”
“I know, but I need to handle this first.” He kissed my forehead and left while I told Colin to come back over. I just wanted to curl up with my baby, but I knew I had to talk to Colin first. My mom had texted me asking when I was coming to get her, so I just said Gavin would be over to see her. Thankfully Rickey hadn’t texted me, I didn’t want anything to do with him right now. Colin came in and frowned as he looked me over.
“We need to talk?”
“Um, last night I went to talk to Rickey about what I got in the mail. We started talking and he told me about how he hasn’t seen her in years. Anyways we were drinking, I wanted to leave but he wouldn’t let me because of the drinking. He stayed on the couch and I stayed in his room. It got cold and I started shaking, so I went to ask him for another blanket, he didn’t have any. He held me so I could stop shaking and we ended up falling asleep.”
“Did anything else happen?”
“Um we kissed, he kissed me and I pushed him away. It was a mistake, I was so stupid.”
“Why didn’t you call me to get you or anyone?” He hissed.
“I was tired and just wanted to sleep.”
“Damn it, McKenna, do you have feelings for him?”
“No. I love you, I want you.” I fell to the floor sobbing.
“I think we should take a break.”
“Colin, I’m sorry.”
“Me too McKenna.” He left leaving me there sobbing. I knew why he left but a part of me was hoping he would come back and hold me.
After sobbing for a couple of hours I got myself together so I could go see Sophia.
Walking into the living room I found my parents and Sophia watching a movie. My dad saw me and smiled at me as I walked in. Sophia still didn’t notice me, so I walked over wrapping my arms around her pulling her close as I kissed her cheek. She squealed making me hold her close.
“Hi, baby girl.”
“Mommy.” She turned around wrapping her arms around me hugging me.
“I missed you.” I picked her up and lay on the couch with her on my lap.
“I miss daddy too.”
“He has to work baby, but you will see him soon.”
“What about Colin?”
“I don’t think so, we fought.”
“It’s complicated.” A tear rolled down my cheek and she quickly wiped it away before curling up to me.
“Love you, mommy.”
“I love you too baby so much.” I kissed her forehead and held her tight against me. This was not only hurting me, but it was going to hurt her too.