“I can’t.” I cried.
“Yes, you can.” Rickey wiped my forehead and smiled at me. I looked back forward and pushed. The baby was out and they quickly took the baby away. With both girls, they were laying on my chest screaming by now.
“Mommy, what is going on?” I was in tears and I could see the tears in her eyes.
“I don’t know honey.”
“I want my son.”
“McKenna we need you to calm down.” At this point I was sobbing, no one was telling me anything. I haven’t even had the chance to see what he looked like. Nurses came in and moved me to a different room.
“Can you tell me what is going on with my son?”
“I’m sorry. The doctor will be with you soon.”
Once we were in the room Rickey climbed on the bed, pulling me into his arms where I sobbed. The doctor came in and my mom moved closer to me.
“Where’s my baby?”
“I’m so sorry your son did not make it.” The nurse said with sympathy.
“I want to see him.” I sobbed as Rickey pulled me closer clutching on to me. We were never going to get to know our son. The girls won’t get to see their brother.
“Honey, I will be back I’m going to call daddy.” I nodded as I heard my mom leave the room.
“He was just kicking, I don’t understand.”
“I don’t know.” There was a knock on the door, but I kept my face in his neck.
“He’s here.” I pulled away and saw the nurse give me a sad smile as she leaned down handing me, my son. Rickey stayed close kissing his forehead.
“You are so perfect.” I moved him making it so we were chest to chest. If he felt me, maybe he will open his eyes and breathe.
“I love you Cohen so much. Breathe baby. I know you’re in there.” I pressed my hand against his chest and could feel his little heartbeat. I looked at him closely and saw that he was breathing.
“Rickey he’s breathing.”
“But he’s sleeping?” We looked at each other confused.
“Both of the girls were awake and crying.”
“Come on buddy.” Rickey smiled kissing the back of his head. I grabbed Cohen’s hand kissing it, letting him know his mommy was here.
“Mommy and daddy are here, we’re going to take care of you.”
“Come on bud.” We kissed him all over and just held him close to us. All of a sudden I felt a kick against my stomach.
“He kicked me, come on baby open your eyes.” I gasped. Tears filled my eyes again as I just watched him.
“That’s it, baby.” He opened his eyes, letting out a cry. I cradled him closer to me.
“Momma’s got you.” I cried as I kissed his forehead and felt Rickey kiss the side of my head.
“You did it, baby, our son is okay.”
“Should I get the doctor?”
“No, he’s okay.” I smiled as I leaned up kissing his lips.
“I love you so much.”
“Love you too.”
“And we love you, little man.” I moved him and helped him latch on to my nipple for his first feed. Rickey took his hand in his, while we watched him.
“You just wanted mommy huh.”
“We’ll see. ” I smiled, leaning over kissing him softly before looking back at Cohen.
“No more babies.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, after today I don’t want anymore. He completes our family.”
“I can’t agree more.”
“Good, I mean we can always just get a dog.”
“True.” I heard my mom gasp as she entered the room again.
“Sure is.” I smiled as I leaned down kissing his forehead.
“He just needed his momma. Of course, he kicked me before he took a breath or opened his eyes.”
My mom moved closer so she could get a better look at her first grandson. Yes, that’s right I was the first one to have a boy. Gavin and Kylie are also having a boy, which should be here any day.
“He looks like Rickey.”
“It’s about time I get someone that looks like me. Sophia looks just like you, and Ellie is a good mix between you and Colin.”
“You know he’s going to change.”
“I know, but I will take it while I can.”
“Do you want me to get the girls?”
“No, we just want to spend time with him for now.”
“Time to go, home buddy, you get to meet your big sisters.” I climbed in the backseat with him while Rickey got in the front. Cohen screamed his head off for a little bit then finally calmed down just before we pulled up. I unbuckled the car seat, and then let Rickey pull him out as I went inside.
“Mommy,” Sophia yelled. She came running and slowed down once she got closer.
“Hi, baby girl.”
“Daddy is bringing him in, so let’s go in the living room.” I grabbed her hand and went into the living room where Ellie was. I sat down and she quickly came and curled up with me.
“I missed my girls.”
“Girls go wash your hands.” They went running while Rickey came and sat next to me so, I could get Cohen out. My mom came in and smiled at us.
“Food is in the kitchen when you guys are ready.”
“Thanks, mom, you didn’t have to do that.”
“I knew you guys would probably be hungry.” I moved Cohen so he was on my legs and the girls could see him better. The girls came in and gasped when they saw me.
“Come here, it's okay.” They both came over and stood around him so, they could look at him.
“Girls, this is your little brother Cohen.”
“He looks like daddy.” I smiled, nodding.
“Can I hold him?”
“Go sit on the chair.” They both ran over and got situated. I picked him up carrying him over so Sophia could hold him.
“Hi Cohen, I’m your big sister Sophia and that’s Ellie your other big sister.”
“Love you, baby.” I smiled as I felt Rickey wrap his arms around me.
“They are perfect.”
“Sure are babe, and they are all ours.” I smiled, pecking his lips.
“Alright, let Ellie have a chance.” I pulled Cohen from Sophia, placing him in Ellie’s arms.
After a little while, everyone left and it was time to put the girls to bed. I walked into Sophia’s room where they both were curled up.
“Mommy.” I smiled as I climbed on the bed with them.
“You leave again?”
“No, Cohen is home, so we are all good. No more doctors for mommy and Cohen.”
“Alright babies, time to go to sleep.”
“Love you, mommy.”
“Love you, momma.”
“Love you both so much.” I kissed both their foreheads before going back to my room where my boys were curled up.
“Come here, baby boy.” I reached for him and took him from Rickey.
“Ready for the long nights?”
“Nope, but I will be with you every step of the way.” I smiled, leaning over kissing his cheek before looking back down at Cohen.
“Love you, baby boy.”
The alarm went off and I heard Rickey roll over to turn it off. It feels like I’ve only slept for ten minutes, I was so tired. Sophia has school and Ellie has daycare.
“I got them.” I nodded, curling more up to Cohen. Little man had a rough last night, so hopefully today we can get some sleep.
“Mommy,” Sophia whispered.
“I want to stay with you and brother.”
“Baby, you have to go to school.”
“Baby, mommy is really tired right now and I don’t want to fight with you. Now go get ready for school.” I heard another set of footsteps so I knew it was Ellie. She had climbed on the bed and lay on the other side of Cohen.
“Girls leave mommy alone, breakfast is ready.” They left and Cohen woke up. I sighed and sat up so, I could feed him. After a little bit, the girls came in and I checked over their clothes before they left with Rickey.
I can’t believe I have a son and he’s so perfect. He sure did give us a scare, but I do believe he just needed his mommy’s touch. McKenna is such an amazing mom. I don’t know how she did it with Sophia. After dropping off the girls I went home finding McKenna in the kitchen.
“Where’s little man?”
“In his swing.” I nodded, wrapping my arms around her, kissing her cheek.
“I love you so much. You are such an amazing mother. I should have been there when Soph was born.” She turned around, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“It must have been so hard.”
“It was hard, but we were fine. I love every minute of being their mommy, even at the hardest moments. I love you Rickey, and I love the man and daddy you’ve become.” Her arms were around my neck as I pulled her closer, pressing my lips to hers kissing her softly. We went into the living room curling up. Once her head hit my chest she was out and I just held her close. About an hour later her phone went off, McKenna moved to grab her phone and I went to pick up Cohen.
“You have to pick up Ellie.”
“Something happened and she needs me. I would go get her, but I can’t.”
“She wouldn’t say.” I nodded and handed her Cohen back before going to pick up Ellie. I left and headed to pick up Ellie.
“I’m here for Ellie.”
“Daddy.” She came running and I scooped her into my arms.
“I want mommy.”
“I know honey, she couldn’t come she had to stay home with Cohen.” I looked up and saw the teacher frowning at us. She handed me a picture and I knew it was a picture of her and Colin, she carries it everywhere.
“Thank you, let’s go see mommy.” I carried her to the car and got her buckled in before we left to go back home.
“Mommy.” She said as she went into the house and right into her mom’s arms. Cohen was on the floor for his tummy time.
“Baby what happened?”
“They make fun of me.”
“Because I have two daddies.” She frowned and looked up at me.
“Honey, we talked about daddy Colin.”
“They just don’t understand your daddy loved you.” I hated that Ellie had to go through this, it wasn’t fair. I do wish Colin was here, but then I wouldn’t have McKenna and I wouldn’t have my son. Things would be so different if Colin never died in that accident.