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18: "I deserve better."


"Drake," a voice said from beside us as we left Starbucks. I turned around, irritated now.

Toni, my ex from high school was standing there, glaring at Victoria. I noticed in her hand she was holding my football jersey, her eyes dancing with amusement as Victoria gazed at it wordlessly.

"You left this at mine the other night. I assume you need it-"


I snatched it from her, as she blinked innocently at me.

"You're welcome," she muttered, laughing as she glanced back over at Victoria. "I'm Toni, Drakes, uh, ex but kinda not."

"I see. Well I'm leaving."

I scowled at Toni who shrugged at me.

"I saw your car so I thought I'd stop-"

"Yeah. Thanks," I snapped, as I turned to see Victoria walking down the street in the rain.


She glared at me briefly before I reached her, my hands on hers. She pulled away like she'd been burnt.

"No, seriously. You told me you loved me, after you had cleared fucked your ex. You are still a fuck boy, and I'm done with you."

No, no, no.

"I was hurting, stupid-"

"Horny, predictable and fucking cliche. Urgh!"

"Fine, all of those things. Its just a familiar fuck- nothing more. No feelings-"

"God, listen to yourself. You're talking about someone else's feelings, Drake! What an asshole you are."

We stared at each other, her hands bunching up into fists as she shook her head sadly.

"Who was the other girl, this morning? Come on, tell me. Who was she?"

Not this, not now.

"What? Why the fuck does that matter?!" I growled, stepping closer to her.

"Because it matters to me."

"Her name is Alicia," I said quietly, as she lifted her eyebrows.

"Is she another one you've fucked?"

I lifted my eyes to hers as she searched them, her lips parting slightly as I reached out for her.

"You're making me sound fucking awful."

"So you did?" she repeatedly coldly, tears springing into her eyes as I felt my stomach twist.

"Years ago! Not recently-"

"Look. Honestly I need you to just...leave me alone. I'm serious, Drake. I already liked you too much..."

I pulled her closer to me as I cupped her face in my hands.

"I'm a dick. But to be fair you and I, we weren't fucking exclusive."

"No but-"

I silenced her then with my mouth on hers, as she pushed me away.

"No, Drake. You can't just kiss me and expect me to just forget that you've fucked someone else a few days ago. Yes I kissed my ex but actually fucking someone," she paused as she looked down sadly. "Can't you see that is serious?"

I wanted to use a time machine to go back to the other night, where a weak moment created bad decisions.

"I'm sorry, but I really like you-"

"Well I really like me too. I deserve better. I'm sorry, but I can't be your..."

"Girlfriend," I said softly, my eyes locking onto hers.

"Yeah, not going to happen. I can't be your anything."

I didn't know what to do, I'd never felt like this before. Rejection was one thing- but being rejected by a girl that occupied your every single thought you had was enough to make you go insane.

"But you can't walk away. You just can't."

It was feeble, but it was all I had. She sighed then, wiping her wet hair out of her eyes.

"I deserve better," she said quietly, her hand reaching out to stroke my face. I closed my eyes as I turned my lips into her palm, kissing it softly. "I don't care how long it takes, or how attractive they are. It's how they treat me and others that matters. It may be boring, but it's really fucking important to me. Go back to...whatever her name was. I'm sure she would accept you exactly as you are."

I couldn't stop her. My feet wouldn't move and my mouth had dried up.

Because she was right.

She deserved better.

Better than a fuck boy like me.

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