I really, really, really didn't want to be here.
I knew that the moment I walked into that room I would be a a wreck, doomed for all eternity to wonder the empty rooms of Heartbreak hall, of Heartbreak city, population- me.
Steady yourself Charlotte. Breathe.
It was hard to be rational when you were doing something completely irrational though. If I'd have known that the first time those murky pond green eyes locked onto me that this would happen I would have ran a mile.
"Good morning! I take it you're here for the Ex Course? Can I take your application number please?"
I handed over the letter I'd received in the post, as the woman before me frowned.
That was all it took to make me want to fall to the floor in tears. I couldn't face the guy; I could barely hear his name without breaking ino a sweat.
"He's already checked in. Straight down the corridor to the hall, thank you," she chirped, before moving on to the next lonely soul.
Of course he had.
He wasn't ever late, for anything, ever. I hated the fact that I had to spend the next six wednesdays here, proving we were no longer compatible.
He was so wrong for me.
With that in mind, I strode forward to the doorway, my heart hammering in my chest as beads of sweat ran down my back.
I pulled open the door to see a sea of people sat cross legged on the floor, their eyes all turning to see the newcomer in the room.
I searched for him, seeing him sat against the far wall, his arms folded and his face like thunder. The one thing we had in common I suppose, was that neither of us wanted to be here.
I walked over, sitting beside him as he grunted an acknowledgement in my general direction. I whispered back hello, before staring at the large poster that sat on the floor before us. Beside it were lots of coloured pens, and I felt nausea rise in my throat.
"Isn't this exciting," he muttered, pushing a hand through his dirty blond hair.
"Just shut up, and let us get through this as painlessly as possible," I replied frostily, annoyed that he had the audacity to speak to me.
"Oh trust me, it will be painful," he smirked, easing back against the wall as I glared at him with annoyance.
"All we have to do is go through the mechanics of why we aren't together, and why it will never work between us. Hardly painful."
A small, portly woman made her way to the middle of the room, wearing pure red. Everything was red, the suit, the shirt beneath the suit, her lips, her nails...even her cheeks.
"Jesus," I whispered to no one in particular, my eyes scanning the room to see the horrified looks on nearly all the faces.
"Good day, Exes," she boomed, as I cringed. Was she being serious? "Today is the start of our magnificent course. We have managed to turn many relationships around in this very room."
She paused for effect, and I heard someone snigger.
"You are here because you've applied for a break up. That's incredibly sad, because you once applied for the relationship, together. As you know, there are some unfortunate reasons for a couple to end their relationship, but most can be overcome."
"I don't fucking think so," snapped a woman from across the room, glaring at the man beside her.
"I was drunk, shit happens," he slurred, and I realised he was currently still drunk.
"See, it could be worse," I heard a man hiss at a woman to my right, who responded with a scowl.
"Calm down, please. We will work through the next six Wednesday's together, and you will both decide with your counsellor at the end if you still wish to terminate your relationship. If you do, the final decision will be put forward and you will receive your documents in the post. Please remember that following your agreed decision, you are not allowed to apply for a relationship again within the next year with the same person."
I wished it was the sixth Wednesday already. I had absolutely no intention of getting back with Jason, ever.
"So first of all, I need you to face each other in your couples, and say something kind."
I froze, my mouth falling open with horror. What was this fresh hell? I heard Jason chuckling from beside me, and I turned to glare at him.
"Ladies first," he murmured, not trying to disguise his laughter.
"You're a very good cunt."
He roared with laughter, as I shook my head turning back to the front.
"My turn, my turn," he laughed, seemingly enjoying himself now. "You're amazing at giving head."
"Fuck you," I spat, as he winked at me.
"We've definitely done enough of that."
I closed my eyes in mortification, wondering what drugs I must've been on to get with him.
"Ok, now please share it with the group. We'll start with," she glanced down at her sheet before pulling her slimy red lips into a wide smile.
"Jason and Charlotte. Oh, what a lovely name pairing. Now, could you tell us what Charlotte said to you, Jason?"
I froze in horror, as Jason cleared his throat. He sent me a small grin, before he spoke.
"Well, Charlotte here said I'm a very good cunt."
My cheeks flushed as the woman before us glared at me, her eyes narrowing as she made a note.
"Right. That's not what we mean by kind, Charlotte. I would encourage you to compliment him on something you think is positive about him."
"He is closer to dying than I am."
Jason glared at me as the woman peered at me closely.
"Ok, well, let's try what Jason said to you, shall we?"
"I'd rather not repeat it-"
"I'm afraid you have to," she interrupted sweetly, as I stared at the floor.
"Jason said I'm great at giving head."
"No, I said you're amazing at giving head," he corrected, as a man shouted out from across the room.
"My future ex wife right there."
"Oh for fucks sake!" screamed the woman beside him angrily. "Control your fucking self you hideous beast."
I was mortified.
Six weeks of this?