I hated that I lived opposite him.
Once upon a time it had been amazing. My best friend was literally across the street. Now he was my ex, and it was shit.
I couldn't help but notice when he came home the morning after the night before, wearing what he wore to go out. I even asked if I could swap bedrooms with my parents, so fed up was I of not being able to have my window open without hearing his goddamn voice.
They liked their room overlooking the beautiful fields behind our home, and told me I could keep the front bedroom. It was mortifying enough that I still lived at home- again another thing I hated Jason for. We had been planning to get a little flat together, but as it was stupidly expensive we had been saving like crazy. Now he had fucked it all up.
I must've been scowling, because he sighed.
"Now what have I done?"
"No, I was just thinking about how much of a dick you are," I replied sweetly, as he nodded.
"Why haven't you pulled anyway? It's not like you," I sneered, as he turned to look at me with a bored expression on his face.
"Didn't feel like it."
I didn't respond, instead deciding to focus on the houses as the taxi spend through the slick streets, the outside world turning into one big blur.
"You look beautiful," he suddenly said, taking me by surprise. I just shook my head refusing to endanger myself by meeting his eyes whilst drunk. "But then, you always do."
"Jason. I said not to try anything."
"I'm not trying anything. I just think you're beautiful," he shrugged, as he turned to gaze out of the window.
"Thanks," I said sarcastically, as he sighed.
"I know I was a dick, but could we at least be friends?"
"Friends? We were friends! Best friends!" I hissed, aware the taxi driver was listening intently. "But you can't help it Jason. You are this good looking bastard who can't help but end up in bed with your adoring fans. Its fucking ridiculous how I ever fell for you."
He shook his head, turning to me as he spoke. I felt my heart skip a beat when he sighed, leaning forward so he could whisper to me.
"You fell for me because we were meant to be together. I was a dick, and I'm sorry. I was stupidly drunk-"
"Its not an excuse. I'm drunk now but I'm not eating your face," I pointed out hotly, as I dragged my eyes away from his. This was pointless, and also rather dangerous. I was so angry with him, but I couldn't deny the yearning I had for him right now, which was heightened by the alcohol.
"Shame," he whispered, as I felt my stomach clench.
"Go and bother someone else. Four more weeks and we are done."
"Keep telling yourself that."
I turned to respond when the taxi driver flicked his light on.
"Uh, are you guys getting out together or-"
"We live across the road from each other," Jason said smoothly, as he paid on his app for the cab. The taxi drivers eyebrows shot up.
"You live across the road from your ex? Shit."
"Our parents are good friends. It's a long story," I mumbled, as I opened the car door. The cold air hit me and I shivered, walking around the cab towards my house. Jason joined me on the sidewalk as the taxi sped away, leaving us alone.
"I hate you being my ex," I whispered, as I studied his broad shoulders and delicious arms, wishing I could just reprogram him into being a decent human. He looked at me as he ran a finger down my cheek, making me flinch as I moved back. "It should've worked, you fucked us up."
He stepped towards me then, and I instantly took a step back.
"I'll spend every day regretting it," he confessed, as I narrowed my eyes at him. He could be like this sometimes- apologetic and beautiful- a total headfuck. Then other times I was a psycho and he couldn't care less.
"Good. I'm going to bed."
I walked past him as his scent enveloped me, making my heart ache with desire.
"I'm really sorry Lottie."
His hand had caught mine, and I gazed down at it sadly.
"So am I."
I pulled away from him, walking into my house and leaning against the door as hot tears slid down my cheeks.
I had to do something, I couldn't still feel like this. I had to get Jason out of my mind, and heart.