Always, it always-
The glass trembled under my touch, and I forced my grip to tighten with frustration.
What’s taking her so long?
More than an hour had passed since Lowe put me behind closed doors—and I was beginning to get worried.
What if he couldn’t be fixed?
But perhaps—it would be for the better after all.
Love could be a lie for me.
In fact, Love is a lie—
Something that only the beholder could feel—
Something that couldn’t be understood.
Why would they believe in something they couldn’t even see?
For they said seeing was believing—
So how are we to believe in Love—something that couldn’t be seen?
Let go, they said.
But was it ever so simple?
For why does the heart not work like a machine?
Why does it always—
“Suoh!” The double doors to the drawing room burst open, and Lowe appeared—paler than fear.
“What? What—spit it out!” I urged, impatient monster clawing at my stomach.
Fear rose to my throat, but I swallowed.
“I…I don’t know, I’ve never…he’s just…” Her gaze couldn’t meet mine. It darted from spot to spot, brows creased in worry.
“What? What’s wrong?” My voice cracked in the question, for fear was everywhere. Everywhere—
“Nothing’s wrong! That’s what’s wrong! I can’t—I can’t find any dysfunction in his system. It’s perfectly…fine…” Lowe’s fingers trembled in confusion. Confusion and panic, for it seemed as if there was no droid she could not fix.
“My Lord, I do not understand. There is nothing wrong and yet—everything is wrong! How does one defy all logic and sense? Yet—this droid!” She was breathing heavily, a look of disbelief in her eyes and such anxiety that gripped, gripped and pulled on the strings of her heart.
“Lowe. Stop—breathe,” I gripped her shoulders and shook her slightly, staring down into her soul.
There was a sharp moment of silence, and all movement stopped.
And when she finally looked up, her gaze met mine with such ferocity and regained strength. Teeth clenched, fist balled, she let out a sound of frustration.
“No! No—I will not accept this. One does not,” She began to pace, “one does not simply defy science. Not when science was the very reason he existed.”
“Lowe, calm the fuck down—“
“How dare he?” A whisper escaped her lips and I stopped breathing.
“What…did you say?”
She turned to me, dress whipping around.
“I said how dare he,” Her chin raised slightly, challenging.
And before I knew it she was against a wall, a fist bunched in the front of her dress—
A fist that belonged to a monster.
“If you dare, dare lay a finger on him—“ The monster was seething. It breathed flames of sudden anger and possession.
“Lord Suoh, I will not.”
The monster breathed heavily—and I heard.
“In fact, I will not lay a dime on that droid. At all. Now, let go of my dress.”
The ugly thing in me withdrew, slithering back in its cave.
My fist released its grip.
“Why should I believe the words that come out of your crappy mouth?”
Lowe brushed the front of her dress lightly.
“Because this crappy mouth does not lie,” A rare smile surfaced, “Just like Science.”
“So you’re saying AI is lying?”
Her eyebrows raised in amusement.
I laughed, but my eyes didn’t.
“A droid lying. That’s a first.”
Lowe laughed along as my hand closed in on the doorknob.
“There’s always a first.”
I searched the drawers for a pair of boxers, wondering whether AI’s slim hips could possibly hold my size. As I was about to grab a blue sweater, a familiar image of AI resurfaced—and I remembered that he used to wear a certain uniform—just like every other droid in the household.
White dress shirt, black vest coupled with a tie, and a pair of fitting black pants.
Uniform…uniform, where could he have kept his uniform?
I checked the time.
An hour to dinner.
Lucinda would want Lowe down with us.
That meant that I barely had an hour to check in on AI.
Racing down the stairs in twos, I made my way to the dungeons, keying in the numbers at the back of my head.
The lock snapped open when I jammed the key in, and I entered quickly—closing the door carefully behind.
Where the hell did his pants go?
Don’t stare. Don’t stare. Look at his face.
“Master!” His soul lit up with a beautiful radiance as he quickly placed down the books in his arms and approached me.
“Suoh,” I corrected, ignoring the sad pain in my chest, “and—are you trying to tempt me?”
There was a pause in between as AI registered the question.
And my gaze wandered.
Never had that.
The skies in his eyes dulled, and his head tilted innocently to the right. “Whatever do you mean? Young Master.”
A hand came up to my forehead in impatience. “That—you, you’re not wearing any pants.”
The beautiful droid lowered his gaze, and so did I.
My eyes didn’t want to miss a single chance, apparently.
“O-Oh! This. There…there is a valid explanation, you see—“ I wasn’t really listening. His thighs were so pale and slim. He’s standing straight, but there’s a gap between them.
“—and the glass of water spilled over. I’m terribly sorry, I was hoping they would dry before your return, Young Master,” He bowed low, hand over his heart, “My apologies—it must have been very indecent indeed…”
There’s nothing wrong with him—
Only the fact that he was so frightening.
Yet, his ability to feel guilt.
He was frighteningly—
“—Master? Young Master? Is something the matter?” He was inches away, looking up, searching my eyes—concern in his.
AI inched, yet closer, and I refused to meet his curious gaze. “Affirmative?” He was prying, peeking from under his lashes. Droids didn’t pry.
They didn’t know how to.
“Anything of my assistance—perhaps?”
I could fucking count his eyelashes.
“Tsk,” A sound of annoyance escaped my lips, “Close.”
“Your face is too close,” I growled, taking hold of his slim shoulders firmly (but gently) and creating some distance.
“O-Oh! My apologies,” He took a couple of steps back further. “Please pardon me.”
I sighed, unable to stay mad at him when it was clearly my inability to resist temptation that was at fault. “AI, I need you to tell me where you kept your uniform.”
The droid’s head tilted slightly to the right. “My uniform…? Why—it is in my Master’s room of course.”
Yeah, of course.
He warms his bed every night how could I forget? The voice in my mind made a snide remark—which I couldn’t help but agree with.
“Mm, yeah,” I replied lazily, losing all interest in seeing AI in his uniform again.
He did look rather sexy in it.
Ah fuck, what am I thinking.
“Young Master?” AI’s voice was curious.
“Mm,” I grunted in reply.
“Pardon me—but for what kind of purpose does that cloth in your hand serve?” He asked politely, in the gentlest voice he could manage.
I followed his gaze to the bunched-up underwear I had been holding since my trip to the bedroom.
“Purpose?” I felt a smirk cross my features as I unfolded the pair of grey briefs and held it up. “What else but to cover your bal—“
AI’s eyes widened and his reaction was faster than any other human’s. “Thank you very much for kind but unnecessary information Young Master, I was merely curious about the object in your hands—b-but since it has been identified, I fail to see any reason for you to—“
“Well, I was gonna ask you to wear them though,” Again, I couldn’t help but smirk playfully at the look of surprise on AI’s features.
“M-Me? I…I am very honored to receive such thoughtfulness—however I do not think it is proper to share such…such private and personal belongings,” The droid adjusted the slim frames on the bridge of his nose in an elegant manner, “Especially if it’s yours, Young Master.”
I raised an eyebrow and stepped closer—placing a hand on the wall, beside his head. “So what if they are mine?”
AI cleared his throat softly, and a light blush colored his pale cheeks.
“Well, Young Master, I…I just…do not think it is proper—“
“So my Father fucks you every night,” I laughed acidly, bitter. “Is that proper?”
AI’s eyes widened as if he had been stabbed in the chest. His gaze wavered, darting, avoiding. “How did you…Young Master, y-you were not supposed to be in knowledge of this, I—who...who told you?”
You told me.
“A little bird.”
His gaze met mine in anger and in fear. “This—this is not the time to play games, Young Master. I—“
“A game?” It wasn’t me.
It wasn’t me who spoke.
“Do I look like I’m having fun?” The monster in me seethed like a flaming dragon—seeking for destruction. For pain, for sorrow—
To hurt him—
Like he hurt me.
AI recoiled in fear, and the skies in his eyes were so, so dark.
“Y-You weren’t supposed to know…” He whispered, bottom lip quivering. “You…you of all people—“
Guilt stabbed me in the heart.
“But of course Young Master,” His gaze sought everywhere but mine, voice weak and soft—like a daffodil in a storm.
“A heart rate of 112 beats per minute, dilated pupils, high cortisol levels…”
He looked up into my eyes.
“I diagnose that
You are in Love—
Are you not?
He was so cruel.
He knew since then.
He knew since the beginning.
He knew that I was in love.
In the first place, he loved Father.
He loved Father.
I should have realized by then—
How dangerous a weapon was he,
How dangerous a weapon was Love.
A droid loving—
Was a droid committing an error.
—A human error.
“I understand,” He smiled. “I know what it feels like—to be in love.”
Why are you talking about him in front of me?
“All you want to do is see him smile—be the very best in his eyes.”
I love you—
And you know it.
“He’s here, he’s there—he’s everywhere. In your mind, your heart, your soul,” said the one who didn’t have a heart. “It is the most beautiful, yet, the most dangerous flower in the garden.”
Yet, why are you still hurting me?
“Perhaps this is what humans feel—is it?”
His eyes pleaded. “Please tell me that it is—that this is Love.”
Stop talking about him—
Stop telling me that you don’t love me!
“But—I shall not be foolish.”
My head raised.
AI’s gaze lowered, and he looked away. “I shall not be foolish,” The corners of his lips turned up ever so slightly, and his head raised to reveal a sad, sad smile.
The skies in his eyes were crying.
“On your order, Young Master,” He bowed all of a sudden, and I froze.
I paused—confused, tired.
“Are you not going to order me to give up on Lord Silas? For it is he you wish to have—is it not?” He asked patiently, calmly.
“Wait. Wait. Wait—you got this all wrong AI,” My hands came up to grip his shoulders gently. “You don’t actually think I like my Father in that way, do you?”
“I…don’t see why not…? According to the symptoms of Love—“
“Oh for fuck’s sake…” I ran a hand through my hair, wondering whether I should laugh or cry at his naivety and innocence. “You—“
He blinked back, skies reflecting.
“Argh forget it,” I gave up, collapsing on the couch not far behind.
“Young Master? I do not comprehend…” Said the droid anxiously, worry written on his face as he approached me in tentative steps.
I sat up.
“Ugh—don’t you get it?
I. Love. You.
Aah—for fuck’s sake.”
“Yes,” I deadpanned.
He blinked, registering. “Ah—affection, that is very kind of you, Young Master—“
The monster in me saw it coming.
It rose, frustration breaking its restraints as it snapped and roared at anyone who stood in its way.
“Affection? AFFECTION? It’s not just affection, AI—what I feel for you is way beyond what any other droid can understand.
Not just affection.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, THAT IT FUCKING HURTS!”
I breathed, heavy, staring straight into his soul.
AI was silent, unblinking.
Then he blushed.
He blushed—a deep, coral red.
There was a sudden crash coming from the kitchen.
It was so loud that it could be heard from the dungeons.
“Suoh?” The voice was faint, but I heard it.
I heard Lucinda’s voice.
A/N: I am terribly sorry for the late update ;__; I didn't mean to, this just took really long to write, even though it was a little short. :') Thank you for reading, as always.
Ah, Love. Hehe.
It makes the strongest villian, and the weakest hero.