I’ve been thinking about how my life would change after i left my beloved city and left my family behind, i had already packed my clothes, my shoes, my makeup cases, everything in boxes to take me to Spain, we agreed with my grandparents that they would wait for me at the airport and then go to my new house, they wanted me to have my own apartment but since i didn’t want to leave them alone i decided to stay with them for a while until i settled in a city that i don’t know so much, i’ve gone to Spain during holidays but i had never stayed permanently in a strange city.
My parents have been supporting me in everything since i gave him the news of going to study and realizing my dream, my mother has been very sensitive with this issue, i have been spending my time shopping with my mother, we had our moments sharing beautiful memories only the two of us as always, sometimes i helped my father in some Mafia jobs and with my brother Dexter we spent it playing or just having our moments, with Matteo it was very difficult i could not stop thinking that his behavior had been caused because of me, after the talk we had he has been treating me differently, he just talks to me little and almost never paid attention to me, it is as if he wanted to avoid me and it hurts to think that tomorrow i will leave and he will not be there to say gooobye.
Nadina had surprised me with a farewell party, had invited our friends and spent our last moment together before i left, when i arrived at the house i had found it with the lights off and all silent, i had my suspicions and thought that something bad was during my absence, i always had my gun tied to my thigh, my father always told me that i had to be prepared for any attack from our enemies and that i would always distrust those people who could be traitors, so slowly i approached towards the entrance and with my gun in my hand slowly i entered the living room, when suddenly someone turned on the lights, throwing confetti and shouting “SURPRISE” i was freezing, my eyes were wide open and i could tell that my friends with my family were there looking at me with a smile on their faces and happy to see me.
My mother approached me and put her arms around me giving me a big hug, i could notice how my body began to relax and carefully responded to her hug, when she separated from me my dad approached me and i could notice how his eyes were looking at my hand that still had my gun, i kept it in my purse and said:
“I thought they had attacked the house when i saw the lights off and all silent”
I could see the face of admiration and pride in my father regarding my answer, he approaches me and tells me:
“That’s my daughter” He kissed me on my forehead and i approach my friends who were waiting for me, i could see that everyone was here, Nadina with Pierce holding hands, Dexter with three of our friends (Leslie, Robert and Tammy) and Matteo giving me a fake smile holding a cake with Fiorella by his side, as always looking at me ugly, as i approached him i could see how his face was sad but he tried to hide it so that no one would notice on the cake it was written ”we will miss you”, i could not hold my tears and fast we gave each other a group hug, i could tell how some were crying but trying to be strong.
“I will miss them too, but they will always be in my heart and it will not be long, i will come back and we will be together again”
“Well enough of crying and let’s start this party, we love you Rose and we will always be with you in whatever you decide”
Nadina spoke and the music began to play and some were dancing and enjoying our last day together. The party had lasted five hours, Nadina and Pierce were dancing very close and whispering things that i don’t want to know, my brother was talking to Tammy while having a beer, Leslie and Robert were playing cards and laughing at some joke Leslie had told , you could tell that they liked each other, there was a lot of romance in the place, my parents decided to go to their room to rest and leave us alone for tonight, when i got up from the armchair i went to the garden to get some air, i was having a great time, i would miss these guys a lot and never forget them.
I was so in my thoughts when i feel someone sit next to me, i look to my right and i find Matteo looking up at the sky, it was starry and clear, not cold but you could notice a simple breeze, i could not stop watching him, his eyes were a little red and his hair disheveled, i think he had cried and only i could tell. I put my hand on his shoulder and he looked at me immediately. We couldn’t stop seeing each other, his eyes looked at every aspect of my face as if he wanted to remember me and never forget me, instinctively i approached him and circled my arms around his neck, i was hugging him so tightly that i didn’t want to let him go, quickly his arms they were placed on my waist and we were like that for a couple of hours, i could feel how her tears were wetting my shoulder and her whole body was trembling.
“Don’t go away, don’t leave me” Whispering he tells me with sadness and his voice was shaking, as if he was afraid, i never saw him with fear, Matteo was always a tough, strong man with no regrets, but now i saw him as the person i love most in the world and who would soon be leaving him.
“I will never leave you, i will always be with you wherever i go, you will not be alone, Dexter, our friends and our parents are with you, also you have Fiorella, she will make you happy, you deserve it”
He moves away a little from me and looks at me with those eyes that can captivate any woman.
“It won’t be the same without you”
“When i leave, it will be painful but you can get over it, you’re not alone, you have a woman who loves you and can give you what i can’t”
“I don’t want anyone, i just want you” Now he was confusing me.
“What do you mean?”
“I want to confess this before you leave, i will not change your decision but at least i had the courage to say it. I have been oppressing my feelings for a long time, i always denied the truth but not for making you hurt, but because i am a coward and i thought that this was wrong”
“Rosemary, since i saw you grow, it was always with the eyes of a man, i could not deny the attraction i felt for you, i was always captivated by those beautiful eyes, your lips that i always wanted to feel, your delicate skin as fragile as a crystal and your beautiful and bright smile”
I listened carefully to what he felt at this moment, i never thought he felt that way, i never imagined in my dreams that he could see me as a woman and not as a sister, i was surprised by all this.
“Forgive me if i hurt you, forgive me if it causes you pain, forgive me if i always told you that nothing could happen between us and now that you are leaving i want to tell you this”
You could tell he was nervous, his hands clutching mine were sweating, his feet were shaking, i didn’t think a Mafia boss could react in this way.
“Rosemary, i- i love you”
The words didn’t come out of my mouth, my brain had stopped working, my body was still. After those words my world stopped being the same, i had stopped being the same, everything around me had changed the bad thing was whether it was for better or for worse.
As i could react and said the following words i never thought i would say:
“Before i leave, i want you to give me something so i have as a memory”
“Whatever you want, i’ll give you what you want so you don’t forget me”
Matteo’s surprised face was something i could never forget, i would also be surprised if i was in the same situation as him.
“I want only one kiss, to remember that at least we had a very special moment together, like two people who loved each other and i never want to forget”
In that Matteo put his two hands on my cheeks and began to slowly approach my face, i could feel his breathing fast and as he looked at me with love and tenderness, i close my eyes and feel his lips touch mine, i immediately respond to his kiss and my hands went to his waist, it was a slow kiss, beautiful and full of mixed feelings. I didn’t want it to end, it was as if we told each other everything we thought and felt with this kiss, this would be the last time we would be so close to each other, so i will take advantage of this moment.
After our kiss, we decided that we will never forget each other, that we would always talk and he promised me that if i come back he would be by my side, i laughed at that part but i knew he was serious so i let it pass. I said goodbye to my friends and went to my room to try to get some sleep. The next day it was time to leave, i had got up a little early, i took a shower, i put on my clothes and went down to the dining room, there was my parents, Dexter and Matteo eating breakfast, i served some fruit pancakes and an orange juice, then they helped me to take the boxes to the car.
My father told me to take the private plane of the family, he wanted me to travel comfortably and without worries, so we arranged the boxes in the car and climbed all to go to the airport, in the course nobody spoke, there was a comfortable but strange silence, i was thinking about everything that had happened the death of my mother, then when my brother and i lived in the streets and then when the Santoro had adopted us, my life had changed completely and for good, i had a beautiful and great life and i can’t complain.
We arrived at the airport and i saw how some people were carrying my things in the back of the plane, i could only stand still to see how they worked, then my mom put her arm on my shoulders and looked at me with a smile on her face, my father with my brothers were talking with the pilot, the co-pilot, two air hostesses and two bodyguards giving them severe instructions to take care of me at all times and that if i needed anything they would give it to me immediately without complaints, that they would attend me as the princess that i am , my father is an exaggerated sometimes or almost most.
After that they told me that it was time to leave, i approached my family who looked at me with sadness and happiness at the same time, i hated goodbyes and more if it was mine. I approached my parents and gave them a big hug, my tears came out uncontrollably and i wouldn’t stop crying.
“We will always be with you my princess, we will always love you, take care of yourself and succeed big, we are proud of you” My mother tells me with love in her words.
“You will always be the princess of the house and our lives, you are the best thing that could happen to me in all these years of my life, i thank fate for giving me a strong, brave and loving daughter like you” My father always says what he feels in his heart and is beautiful.
“You are my sister, my light and my partner, i am proud of you, we will always talk on the phone and video chat, try that no boy comes to you and if someone fights you, show them who you are and what you are made of” Dexter always will be the protective and jealous brother, but he will always be the best brother in the world.
“Remember me always, remember all the moments we live together, i will always be when you need me and i will never forget you, ti amo, and never forget it, when you come back i will be waiting for you with open arms”
I hope to never forget these beautiful words of Matteo, i hope that in the future we will see each other again and that we can start again, without lies, without deception and without hiding what happens to us.
“They will always be with me, they are the best thing that happened to me in life, thank you for giving me your love, your support, for teaching me to be strong, that nobody sees me weak and that i can get what i want by just proposing”
I gave them one last hug and got on the plane, i sat in the seat near the window, the flight attendant told me to put on my seatbelt and enjoy the flight, i look towards the window and there were the four most important people of my life, Nadina and the others said goodbye yesterday and that they could not accompany me to the airport of course i understood the situation, surely Nadira would be crying when she saw me leave so i told her not to worry, that we would talk every day and that we would send photos.
“Ti amo con tutto il cuore, sei la mia famiglia, sei la mia vita, sei tutto quello che ho, ti vedrò molto presto. Lo prometto.”
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Translation of Italian words:
Ti Amo ~ I love you
Ti amo con tutto il cuore, sei la mia famiglia, sei la mia vita, sei tutto quello che ho, ti vedrò molto presto. Lo prometto ~ I love you with all my heart, you are my family, you are my life, you are all i have, i will see you very soon. I promise.
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