Uhhhhhhh I don't want to
I don't want to do this, I have never been good at asking for help. I hate the set. It just makes it worst knowing I'm back here, outside mom's studio trying to work up the nerve to open the damn door and admit defeat.
I've never been good at that. Saying I was committed sounded better than saying I'm stubborn. Truth is, I was extremely committed to never walking back in here.
When Cami and I were growing up, when mom was filming we spent most of our time here. She didn't mind it, I on the other hand hated it.
That was Cami though. My twin sister who was the polar opposite of everything I am. No we don't look alike. Let's start there.
She, like our mother are both tall fake Platinum blonde and blue eyed bombshells. Then there's me. I gain weight if I even look at food and can't reach most of the shelfs at the store.
Cami is diamonds, bikinis and lube while I am.. sarcasm, books and multiple layers of clothing.
I've always been the black sheep of the family.
Swallowing my pride I open the steel door and walk in.
The moaning and grunts are the first thing to remind me why I hate it here.
I hate the film set.
I hate the nakedness and sex.
I immediately cringe at who ever is being filmed getting plowed into.
I should have just waited outside.
I pass the first three rooms and count.
Now, two more before mom's office.
Just two more.
"I don't fucking believe it!" David's voice echos from his dressing room.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
"Mercy I know you heard me" he leans into his doorframe with a wide smile across his face.
I turn around praying to God that he has some type of clothes on.
I open my eyes and see he has a tight pair of black boxers on with a satin black robe hanging open.
"Hey David" I say sheepishly.
David is one of my mom's oldest friends. He has been in the porn business for a little less then her but doesn't look it.
He is six foot one and has the whole step dad vibe down pat. Which I mean is the kind of films he does the most so it fits.
"Your mom know your here?" He asks while knowing the answer.
"Of course she does" I say jokingly.
"She's gonna be so happy to see you, it's been to long since you've been home." He goes to reach out in a hug but stops mid way remembering I'm not one for physical affection.
I smile and wave bye as I turn around and close my eyes again.
I do not want a front row seat to what's being shot.
I hate it here.
Is it to much to ask for a room with a door and a red light to signal that people are fucking in there?
I keep my hand agaist the wall keeping my head down as I pass the first door.
Just one more.
Then I'm safe.
My hand graze the door handle to Mom's office, I swing that bad boy open so fast and jump inside. I press my back against the door and breath in. Finally some peace from the sex banshee walling away out there.
Mom's office is sound proof and has no windows to the set. It's the only good room in this damn place.
When I open my eyes I see mom's hard wood desk and all the pictures of us hung around it.
"Why is my prom picture the one you framed? Coulda used my band one, its so much better." I say to myself out loud. I sigh seeing the pack of cigarettes on her desk. I've been on her to quit all my life.
I relax agaist the wooden door. I take another deep breath then take My cross body bag off and drop it to the floor at the oak seats infront of me. Mom's file cabinets beside me seem so much taller now then when I was a little girl.
I step off the door, I pull the seat out and sink down into it.
"Uhh I don't want to be here." I groan out.
I tilt my head back and close my eyes. I roll my neck trying to relax more. Being on set always makes me super tense. My anxiety goes through the freakin roof in here.
I let out another breath and open my eyes.
The first thing I see is man looking down at me.
"Ahhhh!" I scream.
I jump up from my seat and face him. My back against mom's desk, my hands to my chest in a protective stance. My fist ready to go flying.
The man just smirks holding his hand out in front of him.
"Who the hell are you?" I snapp at him.
His broad chest and tall frame tower from the couch beside the file cabinet.
He drops his hands to the side before sticking them in his jean pockets. His black v neck t-shirt shows his collor bone and heavy tattooed chest.
His eyes crawl up my body in a saultry sway.
"Eli" his deep manly voice like a vice.
I roll my eyes. Of course another douche porn star thinking every body wants to sleep with him. He has only said one word but I already know. His type is so damn common here. I know it like the back of my hand.
He chuckles at me still holding my fighting stance.
"what are you doing in here?" I snapp.
Just as he flicks his eyes back at my face the door swings open as my mom squeals in excitement.
"Oh my God my baby!" She screams and tackles me into a bone crushing hug.
"What are you doing here!? I'm so happy to see you! Why didn't you tell me you were in town? Oh my gracious look at you! My sweet girl has grown right on up." My mom rambles when she gets worked up.
"Mom I can't breathe" I weeze
She lets go thankfully and I take a gulp of air in. Ever since Mom had her freakin boobs done again she can't feel how hard she's hugging and they are rock solid.
"Mercy baby what a happy surprise!" She rubs her hands down my arms and smiles.
I nodd back before I look back at the man on her couch.
"Oh Eli this is my daughter Mercy, the one I told you about. Mercy this is Eli, he is one of my best stars" my mom gushs and Batts her eyes at him.
A awkward silence settles on us before mom starts at it again.
"So baby what are you doing here? You hate the set" she puts a hand on her hip.
"Can't I come see my mom when I want?" I ask trying to deflect the question. I do not want to get into that yet.
"You can but you don't. Its been years since you've come home so spill it" she pushs. Her red lips stick out with a sass only she has.
"Eli was it? Nice to meet you." I turn my attention away from mom and catch Eli smirking at me. I already hate him. That cocky "oh I'm a pornstar and blah blah" essence around them.
He stands up and holds out his hand for me to shake it. Without pause I do, anything to get me out of this conversation with her.
His hand engulfs mine, his catcher mitt hands wrap all the way around as we give a polite shake.
"Believe me, the pleasure's all mine." He smuglys says.
I roll my eyes again. What a fucking douch.
"Oh my God sissy!" My sister Cami jumps into the room with a identical squeal to our mothers.
She's in nothing but a candy bikini and hot pink high heels. Her platinum blonde hair almost iridescent it's so white.
"Yeah no I'm not hugging you untill you put clothes on." I back away from her as she stretches her arms out for me.
"Mercy seriously? Its not like I'm nude and even if I was we're twins. Like we baked in the same vagina together" she scoffs.
"How about we don't mention that?" I tuck my hands in the back pocket of jeans.
"What are you even doing here? You hate the set" Cami crosses her arms in a pout.
"I can come to town when ever I want" I huff trying to get out of this once again.
"Yeah but you don't. You hate this town." She sets her blue eyes on me in the same bossy tone mom has. If anyone was twins it's them two.
"So Eli how long have you been working here?" I turn back to him.
His smirk widens into a lopsided smile.
"Is it really that bad? Wow Mercy did you kill someone or what?" Cami says amused.
"For fucks sake" I grumble while rolling a hand through my hair.
"I knew this was a bad idea" I groan and walk past Cami, I snatch my bag off the floor and sling it over my shoulder.
"No baby wait don't go, we are just a little surprised is all. We didn't mean to push you. Please stay we just got you back" mom's voice stops me. I could hear the sadness in it.
I sigh and turn back around.
"We can have lunch and catch up yeah? I missed you baby" mom steps over to me and smiles.
"Okay. But I'm not eating none of that fancy bullshit you guys keep taken pictures of and posting. Or raw anything." I have to be specific. I've learned my lesson on letting them pick.
They once took me to a raw foods bar and everything was made into shakes. I swear Cami had a green apple kelp shake that looked like baby poop and smelled ten times worse.
"That's fine, it's our cheat day anyways, Eli come on let's go" mom waved her hand.
I looked at Eli and back to mom.
"Hes really coming with?" I asked in a whisper.
"Sure am beautiful" he gives me wink.
I roll my eyes and walk out.
Here. We. Freakin. Go.