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Torn

By Skyler Luoto All Rights Reserved ©

Drama / Romance

Chapter 1: A Past, Present, and Future

A wooden number two pencil. A blank sheet of paper in a newly bought butterfly decorated hard cover note book. And then finally some memories.

Yup. That's where I started out. In a book of memories that I didn't want to forget, but at the same time thought would be nice to pass to the next few generations who wondered about everything they hadn't experienced that I had.

A drop of the wrist and one line formed on a page from the graphite, beginning a new journey towards the future.

'It doesn't seem too long ago that it all started. I met him, he met me. This was thought to be a strange coincidence. But really, it must have been fate. Or so I assumed. His name was Redric.

Redric was and is so kind and thoughtful, that everyone knows and loves him. I wasn't so sure about him when I first meet him, since he was popular and all, but eventually we grew to like each other as friends. So, I guess.... that is where this al-'

"What are you doing, Florica? Is that a story I see? Or the song you were talking about making for your friend?" Redric stood there right behind the rotting, wooden bench I was sitting at. He was staring over my shoulders, most likely trying to read what i had just put down on paper.

I slammed the book, a.k.a. my diary/ life story, shut and glared at him. He just sighed. "What? Did I do something wrong? I thought you said I could hear the song?"

Quickly getting up, making sure to grab the journal, I turned and glared at him even more. "I said after it was finished." I paused, whacking him on the head. "Its not finished." I pulled my shoulder bag I had slung over me up so I could open it up and put my secret writing into the bag. "Now then, if you will excuse me, I need to make my exit into MY house, so I can get some PEACE!"

With that, I took my turn to try to escape, hoping he hadn't read any of what I had written down. My hand reached for the door, only to see another person's hand dug into my bag with Redric giving a sly smile. "Now then, let me just take this-" He pulled out my book without hesitation. "-and read it."

"H-Hey!" Before I could do anything, he put the book just out of my reach as he held it above my head. This made my mind go crazy. What would happen if he read what i had written?!

"Hey, why don't you want me to read this so bad? It's not like it has some secret about your crush, or something." I could feel my heart stop and a hesitant laugh come out of my mouth. I knew he didn't know how close he was to finding out the truth about how I felt about him.

"Actually...." I barely squeaked out, trying to get my whole body to calm down. "That's kind of true...." A pause went there as he looked at me in wonderment. "But the doesn't mean you can read it to find out who!" My voice barked at him in defense.

"Okaaaaay." Redric had a defensive look on his face as he looked me straight in the eyes and sighed. He dropped his hand with the book down to where i could reach it. Grabbing it quick and harsh out of his hand, he continued. "I really don't understand why you can't trust that I won't tell him that you like him. I mean, we are really good friends and all." He chuckled a bit, rubbing the back of his head in the process.

"It's not that. It's just-" I tried to find the words to use so it wouldn't come out in the wrong way that would tell him everything. "-okay, so maybe it is kind of like that, but you'll understand why I am doing that when I show you the song after if is finished." I paused and stared at him, waiting for him to try to reach for my bag that also had the song in it. "And when I say finished, I mean completely done down to every last note, key, word, and everything else you can think of."

Redric pouted a bit, but removed it with a smile that highlighted his slightly freckled cheeks. "I'll find out soon enough. Just don't keep me waiting." He gave a lecturing look as he pointed and shook his pointer finger at me. "You know how I am when I get tired of waiting." A semi-loud chuckle came out as he took one step down the front stares. With another step he said one more thing. "See ya later, miss flower." Then turned, walking away down the sidewalk.

I watched as Redric rounded the corner, with his long, wispy bangs flying in front of his face because of the breeze. "It's good to have him as I friend." I said, kind of feeling a bit happy that he was there, even if I did almost get discovered.

As he disappeared behind the neighboring houses, I got up and walked inside. The floor creaked a bit as I took one step at a time, observing some of the pictures I had on the wall of him and I together, then some other pictures of my family. Looking at a photo of my mom, I smiled, then spoke a few words to the picture. "I wish you could have met him mom. He really is the best." My mother died when I was born. I only got the photo I had from my father.

Then I looked at the photo of my father, who had also died when I was younger through reasons I didn't really talk about much anymore because it still kind of stung. "You should have met him too, father. I bet you would not like him at first, seeing how he is popular and all, but you would've eventually grown like him."

Slowly walking towards my room, where i found my sleeping sister, I covered her up with a blanket, also setting my things down on my top bunk. "Sleep well. We have school tomorrow." Kissing her on the cheek, I went to the kitchen to prepare some dinner for myself and also lunch for the next morning.

Although I was only seventeen, I already was living on my own, taking care of my sister, and well-basically everything that an adult would have to deal with. There is times when I wish I could be a kid more often, but most of the time, I can only do that when I am with Redric. But that was mostly at school.

People from other states would look at me weird and began to worry, because normally you would think that a seventeen year old wouldn't have to do this sort of things, or more like as much, as I am at this age. After I lost my father is where this sort of journey began.

When I was at the orphanage, I would be relentless whenever someone seemed remotely interested in adopting me. Mrs. Ameia would always say 'you need to be a good girl if you want to be adopted' but because i didn't want the chance of leaving my sister, I didn't listen.

Later on, my sister was going to be adopted. She was taken off by a sweet couple. For days I cried because I figured it wasn't fair. I was only an elementary child then, about ten years old, so I couldn't do anything at the time, even if I wanted to.

The thing was that eventually my sister came back. I don't remember much about it besides the fact that I could hear Mrs. Ameia's worry. She kept asking them if it was 'okay' to do whatever they were doing. As far as I knew, she was probably talking about bringing my sister back.

There had been cases that my friends had to leave, but came back a week later, but most of the time it wasn't like that. Most of the time, they would just disappear. Especially the older teens.

About five years later, I was fifteen and my sister and I both were still not adopted. There were rumors going around that if you were thirteen, you had to leave the building because you were supposedly old enough to leave. Plus everyone said that they did that because they didn't have enough room to keep every teen.

It wasn't until Mrs. Ameia approached me with a form that I realized those rumors were true. "You are too old, dear. I truly do wish you could stay, but we are already filled to the max. I love you, but the orphanage just can't." I read the form that told me that I would get the money from both my mother and fathers savings because of me being the oldest in the family.

My sister came to my mind. "I won't leave without Sofia. You know that." I tried to talk in an appropriate manner for my age. For all I knew, they were saying that they thought I was mature enough to go live on my own.

Mrs. Ameia sighed. "I knew this would happen." She pulled out another sheet. "I worked hard to get them to let you take her with you, but I can't let you have her until next year when she is six." I looked down at the newly received sheet. "You can adopt her next year, so if you predate it, I can send you a letter to when you can pick her up." She smiles. "You are a really tough girl, you know that?"

I grabbed a pen and nodded, beginning to read over the information. It looked like a lot of information that I had never had to deal with before. I asked many questions so I would fill it out right, then signed it, looking over to my sister who was peeking around the corner.

A smile crept across my face as she flew to try to hide herself because I noticed her. Looking back over at Mrs. Ameia, I gave her the form, and she thanked me as I walked away.

I walked over to where I was about to eat dinner, but was stopped by a tug on my arm. "Your not leaving, right, sissy?" I almost cried a bit at her expression that crossed her face which showed through as sadness and concern.

My sweaty palms rustled her hair around a bit as I tried to continue to smile. "I'll be leaving tomorrow after-noon to a new home, but I will get to take care of you in a years time. It may seem like a lot." I sniffled a bit, trying to finish off my sentence without crying. "But all in all, it will also seem like it'll fly by."

We both walked hand in hand over to the dinner table where all the other younger children sat. Some so small that they couldn't feed themselves, while others just about to have to leave like I was. There were smiles, tears, some fear. You could name so much that went on in our heads as parent-less children it's kind of scary.

After some sleep, I packed the little amount of stuff I had, said goodbye to my sister, then was driven to a new house in town that I would live for a year in until i could drive.

Not much happened after that, besides the fact that I was trained to be able to live on my own, and all, only to soon get my sister a year later. And now, you find me taking care of lunch for my sister and I. It was kind of chaotic.

Putting a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, one peach jelly fruit cup, and a Capri sun juice packet into each of our sacks, I set those onto the back left corner of the fridge behind the milk, so it would be ready to pick up tomorrow morning. Then I rubbed my eyes as a yawn escaped the gates of my mouth. I could feel the sleepiness come over me.

Sliding myself towards my bedroom, I grabbed a plain white t-shirt and some fuzzy pajama pants that had 'I'm awesome' written all over it literally. Pulling my cloths I had on off, I felt a chill come down my spine because of how sensitive I am to the cold. I rubbed my arms that were recently just covered in goose bumps. After a moment of trying to get over that dilemma, I quickly slide on my P.J.'s, ready to just get some sleep.

Picking up my cloths I had worn that day, now realizing by the slight aroma of sweat that they needed to be washed, I tossed them into the Laundry basket. There they would be ready to get washed with all the other cloths that had compiled together into one big pile of stench.

Slightly overwhelmed by how it was beginning to grow into a huge pile, I realized it was about time to to a load of laundry. "Well." I said as I sighed. "I guess one load won't hurt. I can just get up early and fold it in the morning too."

I stretched out a bit. Then grabbed a random group of clothing, but still made sure there was not any reds in with it, because of the white that was almost always present in all of my loads. I then congealed them all into the washer.

Pouring the silky smooth lavender mixture into it's spot in the washer, I closed the door and started it up . Then I walked away, ready to go to bed.

Upon getting to my room, I looked at the clock, moaning out of irritation that it was almost one in the morning now. How in the world did that take this much time?! I thought as began to set my alarm for six-thirty the next morning. Before pushing the 'ok' button on the alarm for it to be set, I hesitated and swiftly changed it to seven, knowing I will be grumpy in the morning if I wake up that early. I was still a teen after all.

Snuggling into the safely of my covers I stared at the ceiling, wanting to sleep so bad, but suddenly just not being able to. A sigh escaped my lips. If only my mom or dad were there, maybe things would have been different then they were now. The thing was, sadly, is that I barely had anyone to be good friends with. I had Redric, my sister, and some people from the orphanage. That was all.

Rolling over on my side, I grabbed my soft teddy bear that I had had forever. Boy, did this stuffed animal bring back memory's. This specific teddy bear was given to me by my father. It had gone through a lot. Even the accident that happened. For a while, it was broken, but one day, about a couple years since I had entered the orphanage, I meet a boy.

His name was Terrence. We used to play together. Sure it was long in the past, but I could never forget him. One day he was adopted, but for some reason, he didn't tell me he was going to leave. This being, I wasn't aware of the fact until I asked and was told what had happened. The funny thing was that the day before he left, he had fixed my bear that is still so precious to me. That's why I can't forget him. He was like a brother to me.

Some day, I really did hope that I would meet him. We could be friends again. Plus, I was sure that Redric and him would get along. It would be perfect. My perfect future that is. But that future will just have to wait, because I still had a lot deal with in the present, that frankly, I wasn't prepared for.


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Chapters
1. Chapter 1: A Past, Present, and Future
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