Chapter Twenty Two
AT AROUND ONE in the morning I hear a light tap on the door to my room. After a couple seconds I see Elena quietly sneak in and close it behind her.
“What are you doing?” I whisper.
She strips the covers away from my body and climbs into my bed before she presses her lips to mine. I’m too uncomfortable doing this in my parents house. What if they come in here for something? It’s just another reason for my dad to be disappointed in me.
“Elena.” I pull away desperately and try to look at her face in the dark. “What are you doing?”
“I need it.” She half whimpers, tugging on my heart strings. “I don’t want to do something stupid, Xav. I’m going insane thinking about it. I haven’t slept. I-I’m worried if you don’t help me then I’m going to go elsewhere. I’m not in a good place.”
“Hey.” I reach out to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I knew I shouldn’t have done what I did to you earlier. You just make it so hard sometimes.”
“Can we please do something?” She begs. “I just need to get this feeling out of my system. It’s agonizing.”
“What if you go on a binge afterwards?” I ask. “I don’t want you to be in such a bad place being here with my family. What if doing something isn’t going to help you?”
Not only am I concerned about her, but I’m also not enjoying the feeling of being used. I feel like at times it’s not me that she’s into. It’s just how I can make her feel. I don’t know if I like that.
What the hell am I saying though? Isn’t this what I used to do? A couple months ago I would kill to have found a girl like this. A girl that wouldn’t get attached to me. A girl that I could just do stuff with every now and then and forget about until I needed it again.
But with her I’m not that guy anymore. She’s here with me. At my parents house in New York. The place I hate the most. If she was just another girl she wouldn’t be here with me right now. That’s why it’s irritating me so much that I can’t figure out whether or not she’s really into me or just what I can do for her.
“Listen...” She finally breathes out and looks at me again. “Before you, I wouldn’t have come to you to ask. I would have gone straight to the first person who I knew would do something with me. I can feel myself getting better. The weird thing is that it’s not just that I’m getting sexually frustrated. I’m getting sexually frustrated over you. That hasn’t happened to me before, so it must mean something.”
“Oh yeah?” I smirk, some worries of mine fading away. “And what does that mean?”
“It means...” She dips underneath the covers and tugs at my briefs. “That I think I’m ready to do more.”
I’m already rock hard just from her kiss. I’ve been waiting to do this with her for a long time now. For months. Before I can tell her no, she releases me from my briefs and sticks her mouth directly on me.
“Fuck.” I whisper and throw my head back against the pillow as I watch her head bob up and down under the blanket. I thought it would feel good with her, but never this good.
Even if I wanted to stop her I couldn’t. I won’t really know if this is a bad idea or not until after it’s over with. It was her idea, and yeah, I could have stopped her, but I don’t have that ability anymore. I’ve wanted this for way too long and it’s blowing all of my expectations completely out of the water.
“It’s not going to take long.” I can hardly say, feeling myself draw closer to my climax. I haven’t gotten head in months. I’ve waited to get it from only her, and now that she’s actually doing it I just can’t believe it.
“Elena.” I quietly hiss. My toes curl at her sides as I try to pull out of her. She doesn’t release me though. Is she actually going to swallow?
She nods her head as if she knows what I’m thinking and in seconds I release myself into her, trying everything in my power not to moan.
She pops her head up from underneath the covers. Even in the dark I can see her lips are wet and her eyes are alive with lust. She’s so beautiful.
I don’t even let her talk. Instead I roll her onto her back and lay on my side so that I can stare down at her. “Take everything off.” I mutter into her ear, leaving kisses gently down her neck.
She takes off her pajama shorts and the t-shirt she’s wearing, revealing her breasts to me. The moonlight shining in from the window lights up her body in a way I can’t describe. This is the first time I’m seeing her completely naked, and it’s incredible.
“I-I don’t think I want to have sex yet.” She blurts out suddenly. “I’m sorry if that upsets you, I just don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”
“Would you stop talking?” I smile and lean down to kiss her cheek. “I told you that I wanted to take things slow, remember? We’re doing this at your pace, Elena. I’m not going to pressure you. Ever. Do you still want me to-”
She immediately nods her head, so I lean down and stick a nipple of hers into my mouth as I trail my fingers to her clit. It’s soaking wet. I groan into her as I strum my fingertips against her, pulling on her nipple gently with my teeth after I wet it with my tongue.
Her hand is covering her mouth as she squirms beneath me, and seeing her react this way just turns me on that much more. I want to bury myself in her right now. I want to show her just how much pleasure I can give her, but I know that I have to respect what she wants. Her mental state matters more to me than anything at this point.
I stick a finger into her and speed up my thumb on her clit only ever so slightly. You have to be gentle when it comes to this, and I learned that from experience. If you rub it too hard it’s not pleasurable. It’s just pain. I want to give her nothing but pleasure.
“W-why are you so good at this?” She whispers and closes her eyes.
I stop my fingers and stare up at her in amusement. “I’m what?” I grin. “Did you just say that I’m... good at this? You aren’t just assuming?”
“Oh my god.” She giggles quietly and rolls her eyes. “Xav, this is not the time. Please don’t stop.”
I make sure I get her to her climax as she whimpers quietly while her body becomes undone. I love feeling her get so wet for me. I love the fact that I can get her to that point. It’s such a turn on.
She breathes heavily for a couple of moments until she finally glances over to me and smiles. “Thank you.” She says, turning onto her side to face me.
“Likewise.” I reply. I pull her body against mine and when she looks up at me I get this feeling in my chest. This feeling that I’ve been feeling for her ever since I’ve met her. I want to protect her from whatever the hell demons she’s got. I want to erase any bad thing that’s ever happened to her. I want to stay with her here forever.
“What is it?” She traces her fingertips along my jawline before she runs them through my hair.
As I stare at her I can’t bring myself to say it, but damn. I really feel it. The reason I couldn’t leave her alone since day one, the reason I told her everything about me, the reason I feel so safe with her, the reason I brought her here with me to meet my damn parents.
“Don’t.” She smiles slightly as if reading my mind. “Not yet.”
“Not yet?” I question.
“Don’t say it yet.” She repeats.
“Okay.” I nod my head, not even trying to deny that she’s wrong. She knows just as well as I do how I feel. She can see right through me. I know that there’s nothing I could ever hide from her.
“Can I sleep in here?” She asks. “Just for a few hours? I’ll set an alarm before anyone gets up. There’s just not a TV in the guestroom and I just really hate silence.”
Why the hell are we so alike?
“I hate silence too.” I tell her. “Yeah, you can. I guess we’re kind of used to sleeping with each other now, huh? It feels weird sleeping alone.”
“Yeah.” She slips her clothes back on, sets the alarm on her phone and then lays her head down onto my chest. “Night Xav.”
Kissing the top of her head, I pull her more on top of me and smile even though she can’t see it. “Night Elena.”