DION'S BIRTHDAY PARTY is this weekend, and even though classes have just started I’m trying to get ahead and do some of the assignments I saw listed on this syllabus. After three hours of studying I was finally able to find a stopping point. I’m so tired that I honestly feel like I could pass out at any given second.
As much as I’ve tried, I can’t stop thinking about the situation with Elena. I mean, I understand why she doesn’t want to start something with me, but what about being friends? We can’t just talk to each other?
Walking up the steps to the house, I unlock the door and head inside. Just hearing my thoughts makes me feel completely stupid. I know being friends is such a bad idea. I’m just wanting to be friends so that I can eventually get into her pants, and that’s wrong. She has an addiction. I need to respect that.
Why does she have to be so much like me? Why does she have to be so witty and so sarcastic? Why does she have to be so damn attractive? I don’t know why I can’t get this girl out of my damn head. Not even Drea could distract me, and that’s never happened before. I’ve always been able to fuck my problems out, but for whatever reason it just seems to get worse the more I try to forget about her.
All of the boys are in the kitchen screaming at the top of their lungs with laughter. This is the last thing I wanted to come home to, and I let out a sigh as I head to the fridge to grab a water bottle.
Dion and Rodney are pouring shots for everyone. There’s a couple of people I haven’t seen before, but when I see Amelia here too a pit forms in my stomach. That must mean that she is here too.
I don’t see her yet, so I decide on heading up to my room as quickly as possible.
“Where have you been?” Rodney asks, looking at the glass of liquor before he pushes it forward to me. “You look like you could use a drink.”
I look at the glass, and then I look at Dion. I shouldn’t be drinking. Dion claims to think I can handle liquor now, but look at what happened the other night? Then again, I didn’t resort to doing the thing I used to do. If it weren’t for Elena finding me that night at the bar I probably would have though.
Dion nods to let me know it’s okay, but i know it’s not. I know I’m going to regret doing what I’m about to do, but between the stress of my assignments and Elena I could really use something to take the edge off.
Wincing once the liquor travels down my throat, I slam the glass down onto the counter and shake my head from the rush. “Uh, I was at the gym.” I lie, finally answering Rodney’s question. “Damn, that’s good. What is it?”
“Crown.” Rodney replies. “Here, have another.”
He pours another shot, and then that shot turns into four more. The heat is coursing through my body when I see Elena finally enter into the kitchen. She’s wearing sweatpants and a hoody, yet I’ve never been more turned on. How the hell does she do this to me? She’s just a fucking girl.
A girl that wants nothing to do with me.
She eyes the liquor in front of me and arches her eyebrow up. I don’t need her to question me though. It was just a conversation the other night, right? So it shouldn’t matter to her what the hell I choose to do with my sobriety.
“Is Drea coming over again?” Dion smirks.
“That bitch was screaming last night!” Rodney erupts into laughter along with a few others in the room. “What the fuck did you do to her?”
I can’t seem to wipe the smirk off my face.
“The question is what didn’t I do to her?” I reply.
Everyone explodes in laughter except Elena who just rolls her eyes. Clearly she’s not impressed. Why is it that I want her to be so badly?
Instead of staying down here to get annoyed even further, I send a two-finger salute to everyone and head towards the hallway. “I’m turning in.” I say to them.
“What? Dude, come on. The party’s just getting started.”
Something tells me that if I did decide to stay down here then things would be really complicated. I can’t take Elena looking at me like that. I can’t figure out what she’s thinking, but as my eyes linger on hers I see her pupils dilate.
Yeah, definitely time for me to leave.
When I’m halfway to the staircase I hear the floorboards creak behind me. Elena has followed me out into the hallway, the sounds of laughter being a distant echo now from the kitchen.
“Hey, are you okay?” She asks. “You were just... drinking.”
“And?” I raise my eyebrow.
“And... I thought you were trying to stay away from that.”
I walk closer towards her and clear my throat. “What does it matter to you if I had a couple drinks? Weren’t you the one that said the other night was just a conversation? I don’t need you to be nice anymore. I’ve got myself covered sweetheart.”
She nods and tugs on her bottom lip. “Right.” She says quietly.
I’m feeling so drunk, and I know I shouldn’t provoke her addiction, but her mouth is so fucking pretty. She’s so hot that I just can’t help myself.
“Unless you’ve changed your mind?” I tilt my head to the side and let my eyes graze over her body.
“About what?” She asks.
“About fucking.” I laugh and grip onto the banister. “Come upstairs with me.”
She rolls her eyes again, and for a second I want to grab onto her chin so that she’ll stop.
“What?” I ask with annoyance. “What’s so wrong with me? You think I’m ugly or something?”
She stands there silently, not saying anything. She kissed me, but was that just because she was drunk? I thought I could tell when a girl was attracted to me, but maybe I’m wrong about her. Maybe that kiss was really just a kiss. I mean, she is a sex addict, so that’s probably just what happens. She kisses random people without any emotions to it.
“Great.” I laugh. “Well, whatever, Elena. I’m not ugly. Think what you want, but I’ve got plenty of girls on speed dial that’ll come over here with just one phone call. Your opinion means shit to me.”
She can tell just by looking at me that I’m bothered though. There’s a smile on her face, and it makes me so angry that I don’t even know what else to do but continue to stand here and take the embarrassment.
When she walks up to me I don’t move an inch. She takes her fingertips and runs them down my jawline, gripping onto my chin to bring me closer. I think she’s going to kiss me, but instead she brings her lips close to my ear. “I’m only telling you this because you’re drunk,” She giggles. “But I don’t think you’re ugly, Xavier. I think you’re sexy as hell. Especially when you play with that chain...”
She grabs onto the silver chain around my neck and looks at my lips before meeting my eyes again.
“If it weren’t for me being so fucked up, trust me when I say I’d let you take me upstairs and completely fuck my brains out. Better yet, I’d ride you like no one has ever rode you before. I’ve been thinking about pulling on your damn chain all week long, Xavier. I definitely don’t think you’re ugly. Okay?”
I’m panting heavily against her lips as I contemplate whether or not to kiss her right here and now. Fuck, I really want to. I know I shouldn’t though. Not right now.
“Don’t.” She smiles shyly. “If you kiss me I’m going to follow you straight to that bedroom. I’m on my last ounce of willpower.”
Slumping my shoulders in defeat, I nod my head and step away from her. The power she has over me in frightening. My palms are sweating, my heart is racing and my thoughts are all jumbled up. She didn’t even kiss me.
I bet she’s telling the truth about how good the sex would be with her. I bet it’d be out of this world. Is it bad that I still want to be around her even if we can’t have sex? I find myself not wanting to leave her just yet. Why do I want to get to know her so badly? It’s not like I’m going to get anything out of it, yet I can’t seem to stop myself from asking, “you want to come upstairs to just hang out then?”
“Hang out?” She repeats, laughing slightly. “Is this just some plot to try and sleep with me?”
“No.” I reply honestly with no sarcasm whatsoever, catching her off guard. “Just hang out.”
Her eyes linger on mine for a few seconds as she thinks of how to respond. I’m only tipsy now, not drunk, so why am I seriously hoping she will say yes to hang out with me? What is wrong with me?
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” She finally says. “I just don’t think that’s the best idea. Especially after a few seconds ago. I don’t want to do something that I’ll regret.”
Am I that much of a temptation for her? I want to know just how much I really get to her, but I refrain from asking. If me being around her is truly provoking her addiction then I’m going to respect that. Here I thought she wasn’t attracted to me. Man, was I wrong.
“Okay.” I nod. “Well, I guess I’ll see you at Dion’s birthday party?”
“Yeah.” She smiles, and it’s so fucking beautiful. “Being around everyone being plastered should be a blast while I’m the only one sober.”
“I’ll be sober too.” I reassure her. “I shouldn’t have drank tonight. I was just stressed out.”
“About school?” She asks. Her eyes become alive with humor, so I know she definitely heard that conversation with Ms. Hartford.
“No.” I immediately reply, even though I’m lying. I don’t want her to know I’m some nerd. “Definitely not. I could care less about that. It was other things.”
“Alright.” She drops the conversation and starts to walk backwards to the kitchen. “Well, I need to get back to being Amelia’s buffer for the night. I guess I’ll see you at the party though.”
She gives me a small wave and disappears into the kitchen as I grip onto the banister of the staircase with a grin on my face.
Never have I met someone who has this effect on me. She’s able to make my mood better just by talking to me. She doesn’t even need to take her clothes off, and that’s just never been something I’m used to.
Heading upstairs to my room, I let out a long sigh and shake my head in disbelief.
I’m completely terrified of what this girl will do to me.