Rays of light hit my still closed eyes, bringing me out of my peaceful sleep. I didn’t even remember falling asleep, but I did remember staring into Kasper’s blue eyes. Today was the second day of the competition and I, suddenly, started to feel anxious again.
I had been lucky last night, Jax hadn’t seen me. Tonight, could be different. I sat up and looked next to me, seeing a still sleeping Kasper. I smiled to myself and just simply watched him.
He really was gorgeous. His face was perfectly flawless, and I was still trying to find something wrong with this guy. He seemed like he was too good to be true. My eyes danced across his face. His skin was like porcelain, completely smooth and blemish free. His lips were full and had a slight rosy colour to them and his long eyelashes brushed his cheeks as he slept.
Ruining my creepy stalker moment, my phone rang. I looked at the name to see it was my mum.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Hi love, I was just wondering where you were. I feel like I haven’t spent any time with you recently,” she said into the phone.
It was true, ever since we moved here. I had barely had time to see my mum. We used to spend Saturday’s together in the previous town as that had been her day off.
“I know, I miss you.” I sighed.
“You want to spend the day together today? Go for lunch and such?” Mum asked me.
“That sounds brilliant. I am at a friend’s at the moment, but I will be back soon, okay?”
“Fab, see you in a little bit.” I hung up the phone, glancing back at Kasper.
He was now wide awake, his eyes watching me. He smiled when I caught his gaze. Kasper moved into a sitting position, checking his phone quickly as he did so.
“Just before ten,” he mumbled, dropping the phone on the ground next to him. ” Who was on the phone?”
“Mum, she wanted to know if I would spend the day with her today, I told her I would,” I said, to which he nodded.
“How are you feeling? After telling everyone?” Kasper asked me.
Memories of last night came flooding back to me. My friends had been so understanding when I told them about my past.
“Really good, I’m glad I told them.” Kasper smiled at my answer and I smiled back.
We started to make a move to leave, putting on our shoes as we exited the little hut. We walked over to Kasper’s bike and climbed on it. I wrapped my arms round his waist and rested my check on his shoulder, still feeling tired.
Kasper drove me to my house, dropping me on the curb right outside the gates. They opened as I was saying goodbye to Kasper.
I walked inside, taking a leisurely stroll up to the house. When I opened the front door, I ran straight into my Uncle David.
“Sorry Shay didn’t see you,” he said.
“Its fine. I just came in,” I replied.
Uncle David nodded then wondered off down the hall, mumbling something to himself. I watched him go, arms tightly tucked around a stack of papers.
He was acting weird. I took a step forward, my foot crunching on something. Looking down I see a bit of paper. I picked it up and started scanning it.
At the top of the paper was my name and date of birth in bold. What the fuck is this? The rest seemed to be some sort of a log of what I had been doing.
1st November - Shaylin seems to have adjusted nicely into the town, she is spending her time with Dustin and his group of friends which consists of Luca Castio, Olly Shore and Aylee Black. She seems to be in good spirits whenever she comes home from spending time with them.
Her home life on the other hand, appears to be a bit more difficult as she is having trouble with my daughter Addison and her Grandmother. She rarely speaks to me or my wife and it seems as though she has not seen much of her mother, Aria or her grandfather since she arrived.
As you predicted, she goes to the tracks with her group of friends and upon observation, she has proven to be an extremely skilled racer.
Shay appears to be very confident in who she is and is not tolerant of anyone who disrespects her or talks to her in a manner of unpleasantness. This I have witnessed firsthand.
She does not appear to have any contact with Jax any longer and as far as I am concerned, he is not actively looking for her yet.
On the other hand, she seems to be getting closer to Kasper Black and Julian. This may be a…
It cut off there. I turned the sheet over, hoping that it continues onto the back page but no, it didn’t. It was clear that Uncle David wrote this, but I don’t know why.
I raced upstairs with the paper still clutched in my hand, hiding it within my dresser just as there was a knock on the door.
“Yeah?” I said.
Mum opened the door, a cheerful smile on her face. “Will you be ready to go in about an hour?” I nodded to her and she left the room.
I had no time to think about what I had just read. I zoomed to the bathroom and took the quickest shower in history, brushed my teeth and partially blow dried my hair. It took me ten minutes to french plait my hair then I applied a bit of makeup. I pulled on some black leggings, a wooly jumped, a black knit beanie and a pair of Vans.
I made my way downstairs and met Mum at the bottom. She smiled warmly at me before we left through the front door.
Mum and I spent the day as we used to. We went for a wonder around the town. We went in and out of charity shops to see what items we could find, we spent an hour in a designer dress shop, trying on different dresses until we were glared out of the store and we were currently in a little café waiting on our lunch.
It had been a nice day, almost as if nothing had changed in our lives. But everything had changed for us. We now lived in a mansion, I had friends who fully knew who I was and didn’t turn away in disgust and Mum, as of a few days ago, got a job as a nursery helper.
My mind was still telling me to ask about my dad, or even the name Christopher. We were in a public place and she was in a good mood, so what harm could it do?
The waitress came and put our food on the table, us thanking her as she did so. I had ordered a plate of fries and a cheeseburger whereas Mum ordered a jacket potato with tuna and salad.
I took a deep breath. Okay, its now or never.
“Mum,” I said.
“Who is Christopher?” I asked.
Mum froze and paled. She looked at me wide eyed.
“Where did you hear that name?” She asked me, her voice low.
“Gran… she said I was just like him,” I explained.
Mum didn’t answer. She just looked annoyed. But I don’t think she was annoyed at me. However, she did have a similar expression on her face to the expression she had whenever I asked about my dad.
“He’s my dad, isn’t he?” My words were slow and careful.
Mum sighed, her shoulders going slack, but she nodded. “Yeah, that’s your dad.”
Oh my god, my dad. I finally know his name. I needed to be careful about what I was going to say now. One wrong word and she’ll clam up again.
“Can you please tell me about him?” I paused, looking at her reaction before I continued. “It’s just you never ever talk about him and he is my dad, so I think I have a right to know what he was like? I’m not a kid anymore.”
“You’re right. You know what, ask me anything. What do you want to know?”
I almost fainted right then and there, slightly baffled that she was going to tell me something.
“How did you meet him? And what was he like?” I asked.
A small smiled played on her lips while she thought. She took a few bites of her food before answering.
“Christopher Delgado,” she paused and let the name sink in for me. “I was fourteen when he transferred into the high school. All the girls had a crush on him instantly because he was handsome, mysterious and had a motorcycle. He was in most of my classes and if I am completely honest, I didn’t like him at first. He was arrogant, vain and a player.”
Mum paused again to eat then continued her story. I didn’t say a word, not risking her stopping.
“For the rest of year 10, I pretty much ignored him. He would always try and flirt with me during our classes or when we saw each other outside of school but I just wasn’t interested in his player ways. During November of year 11, I was walking home from hanging out with my friends around 9pm, so it was obviously dark, this small group of guys – maybe three of them – started to follow me and taunt me. I made the mistake of turning down the wrong dark alley way, thinking it was the shortcut I knew. But no, it wasn’t. It led me to the shady part of town.”
Oh god, I had never been there myself yet, but I heard it was more than just shady.
“Just as I was about to exit the alley, one of the guys grabbed on to me and pulled me back. I had screamed when he did this, hoping someone would hear me. They held me down and one was starting to unbuckle his pants, so I had a pretty good idea of what was gonna happen. I closed my eyes and had pretty much accepted my fate because there was no way I could fight them off. When the weight lifted off me, I wasn’t sure what to think until I heard a fight. I opened my eyes and saw your dad. He was beating the shit outta these guys and I swear I fell in love almost instantly.”
I smiled, knowing my dad was a hero.
“The guys ran off, tail between their legs and your dad rushed to me. He was asking so many questions about if I was okay, did they touch me and more. I assured him they didn’t. He took me home after that, and on the way, I had asked him how he heard me. He said that he had been at a friend’s house the next street over. We started to hang out more after that. Like all the time. Your gran hated him because he was a troublemaker. We started dating in the January. We were so in love, it was sickening. When I became pregnant in the May, shit hit the fan. I didn’t tell your gran until July, which was when she noticed and kicked me out. Your dad knew and wanted to support me, but I freaked out and ran.”
“Wait, you ran?” I asked.
I was shocked to be honest, I thought that my dad didn’t want me, I didn’t realise that she was the one who made the decision.
“Yeah, I ran. I do regret leaving but it was the right thing to do. There were other factors which influenced my decision to leave,” Mum told me.
She shook her head, “that’s not important now.”
I considered asking her again what her reasons were but decided to leave it, moving on to another topic.
“Did you guys ever go to the tracks?” I asked.
Mum smiled and nodded. “Yeah, actually we did. Your father actually started them up properly.”
Shock didn’t even begin to cover what I was feeling right now. My dad founded these tracks? Why did I not know this? Or why had I not heard his name mentioned before.
“Are you serious? How?”
“Well people were racing in the shady part of town and one day, your dad had the idea to use to the outskirts, near the petrol station. Then bit by bit, things were slowly built up over a few months and it was in full operation in the February before I left.” Mum took another bite of her food.
I looked down, seeing my plate of food. I had completely forgotten about it and now I wasn’t hungry anymore.
“So, you were like… cool once?” I asked, smirking.
Mum deadpanned, “ha ha, very funny.”
“I mean, I thought it was,” I said and we both started to laugh.
For the rest of the day, we talked about my dad. It was nice. She told me loads of stories of when they were together through high school and I was able to get a better picture of who he was.
It seemed as if the way in which Mum was talking about my dad, it was like she was still in love with him. There was a look in her eyes when she spoke about him which gave it away.
When we got home, it was around four o’clock. I had missed hanging out with Mum. I went straight to my room and made a beeline for the bit of paper I had found.
I reread it over and over again, trying to find some indication of why Uncle David had written this. I considered telling someone, maybe Kasper?
My phone beeped from my pocket, I grabbed it out and looked at the screen. It was a text from Kasper.
K: How was lunch? Did you ask her about your dad?
Me: yeah, I did, I will tell you what she said when I see you later. It’s a lot
K: okay, how are you feeling about it though?
Me: good actually
K: good, pick you up at 7:30? X
Me: yeah, see you then x
I swear my heart did a little flip when he put a kiss at the end of that text. I’m really starting to think I’m reverting back to middle school with the way I act with this boy.
I sat on my bed, sinking far into the pillows and pulling my covers right up. I had a couple hours to kill before we went out tonight. Luca had already put on the group chat a few hours ago that we should meet up at the races around eight.
To kill time, I scrolled through facebook for a while then was on facetime with Aylee for an hour while we both got sorted. We chatted about nothing important, and once we were both sorted, I had half an hour before Kasper was going to pick me up.
“So how are things going with Julian?” I asked.
“Honestly, its amazing. Like I can’t believe that I get to call him my boyfriend!” Aylee squealed with excitement.
When Aylee calmed down, she turned her attention to my love life. “So, how are things with Kasper?”
“Well, I actually asked him what was going on last night,” I told her.
“Holy shit woman! Why didn’t you lead this call with that! TELL ME EVERYTHING!” Aylee shouted.
“Well I asked what we were because it’s definitely more than a friends with benefits thing now and he was like, oh well I don’t know,” I started.
“Yeah, keep going!”
“He said he thought he would ruin things because of his player reputation but he likes what’s going on with us and doesn’t wanna force anything but putting a label on it,” I explained.
Aylee’s mouth dropped open and her eyes went wide before she started jumping up and down. She pulled her phone right up to her face and beamed.
“Dude! You basically have a boyfriend now, that’s definitely boyfriend speak,” Aylee said very matter-of-factly.
I gave her a look of confusion. “Boyfriend speak? How do you come up with this stuff?” Aylee gave me the finger, to which I laughed at.
A text popped up on my phone from Kasper telling me he was here, so I quickly said bye to Aylee. Julian was going to pick her up soon even though Kasper lived with her.
I made my way downstairs, the report tucked in my jeans pocket. As I came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, I noticed David looking around and I knew exactly what he was looking for.
“Hey Uncle David, lost something?” I asked innocently.
He snapped up and looked at me, a look of worry on his face. “Er… no, I mean yes, well uh… your aunt Ellen has lost an earring so I’m looking for it.”
“Oh, I see, well I will keep an eye out.” I smiled at him and he narrowed his eyes slightly but kept his mouth shut as I manoeuvred past him and out of the door.
Yeah, he should be worried. What kind of thing is he involved in? Maybe a cult? Would Mum know what it was about? I walked the distance to the gates, thinking about it. I wasn’t sure what to make about the whole thing to be honest. It was just strange.
When I finally reached Kasper sitting on his bike, my nerves calmed. He had his head down and was texting away. I stood there for a moment and just simply watched him.
He really was the definition of perfection. His golden hair blew in the November breeze and the light from the streetlamps made highlights in his hair. He was wearing tight black jeans and had his thick leather bike jacket zipped up snugly around his muscles.
When he finally looked up and, in my direction, he smiled. I moved forward and snaked my arms around his neck while his arms went around my waist.
“And how long were you standing there?” He asked me.
“Like a minute or two,” I replied.
“Were you standing there and watching me or something?” I nodded. “Perv.”
“Shut up,” I scolded.
Kasper leaned in and kissed me softly before pulling away and helping me onto the back of his bike. I wrapped my arms around his waist just as he sped off in the direction of the tracks.
An hour later I was stood on the truck bed with Aylee and Dustin as we watched Luca in his race. Kasper had already been in his and won. The issue was with this race, Jax was competing against Luca. I knew that Jax was a better racer, so I already knew the outcome. I hoped beyond anything that Jax would make a mistake and Luca would win but no, Jax didn’t make mistakes.
On the final lap, Jax was still first and Luca was second, but they were extremely close. When Jax crossed the finish line a second faster than Luca, I was pissed. My entire group groaned with annoyance and disappointment for Luca.
Within five minutes, Luca was back with us and was getting congratulated for coming second and told that he should have won instead of Jax. I stayed put on the truck bed, just watching Jax. He was speaking with Hawkeye and Anton. I smiled when I saw Hawkeye, I did miss him sometimes as he’d been like a dad to me.
Anton snapped his head in my direction and caught my gaze. Shit, he saw me. He knows where I am. Anton whispered into Jax’s ear and Jax slowly turned around, surprise on his face. When he saw that I had seen him, that surprise turned to something unreadable.
My heartbeat quickened and my breathing went shallow. He’s seen me. I’m fucked. I should not have been standing on this fucking truck. Jax started to walk in this direction and I thought I was going to pass out.
I looked down on the truck bed at Julian and Aylee who were wrapped up in each other but Aylee was chatting away to Poppy and Dustin. I moved past them to go stand with Luca, Olly and Kasper. The feeling of fear circulating around my body.
The feeling got worse when I heard footsteps stop behind me, I looked up at Julian, who had locked his eyes on something behind me. He wore a wary expression as he looked over my head. Julian unwrapped his arms from Aylee and hopped down from the truck bed, moving closer to where I was standing. This got Aylee’s attention and her conversation with Dustin and Poppy faded out. I watched as the three of them also looked over my shoulder, almost like they seemed to sense something wasn’t right.
I finally started to turn around slowly, worry bubbling up inside me. While turning, I had been keeping my eyes trained to the ground. My movement halted the conversation between Olly, Luca and Kasper as they felt the tension.
I moved my eyes slowly up, locking them with a perfect nightmare.
“Hey baby,” Jax said, smirking.
I took a deep breath before I spoke, trying my best not to freak out and run away.
“Jax.” Saying his name out loud was painful.
Almost immediately after saying his name, Kasper moved closer to me and took my hand, Julian moved back towards Aylee and Dustin was on the other side of me. Jax looked Kasper up and down then scoffed. He looked at Anton beside him who nodded.
“Is this the puppy you replaced me with?” Jax sneered. When I didn’t answer, Jax chuckled.
“She’s a good fuck, isn’t she?” Jax said directly to Kasper.
“Oh, I’ll fuck you up, you bastard!” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Julian had pulled Aylee back from taking a swing at Jax.
“Damn, she’s feisty,” Anton said, watching Aylee from where he stood with a few of the other boys.
“Fuck you,” she spat.
Jax took a few steps towards me but I stayed put, not showing my fear. Kasper gripped my hand tighter, like he was ready to yank me out of the way if Jax tried anything. I felt the eyes of my friends burning into me, watching with curiosity. Jax stopped inches from me, I didn’t react or step back.
“I bet you still think about me as much as I think about you, about the way we were. Especially the last time we were together.”
Jax raised his hand to my cheek but before he could touch me, I was yanked back with such force I knocked into Dustin.
“Don’t you fucking touch her ever again,” Kasper said. His voice was lethal.
Kasper and Jax were now standing face to face. Kasper was bigger than Jax, both height and muscles but I knew that Jax, Anton and all the others had either knives or guns on them because they usually did.
I moved forward, touching Kasper’s arm. I felt him relax slightly at my touch but kept his eyes trained on Jax.
“You need to keep your puppy under control, Shay. Wouldn’t want him to be put down, would you?” Jax said to me but didn’t move his eyes from Kasper.
The underlying threat wasn’t lost on me, or anyone else for that matter. I narrowed my eyes at Jax, hatred seething from every bone in my body.
“Why don’t you just fuck off?” I snapped, surprising Jax.
He turned his head towards me. His expression showed smugness, but his eyes showed surprise that I had actually been bold enough to say that to him.
“When did you become so bold?” Anton asked.
Before I had a chance to reply, Jax cut in. “It doesn’t really matter now, does it? You’ll come back to me.”
“Like hell she will you dick!” Aylee shouted at Jax from behind me.
Jax walked away, chuckling to himself. We were all silent as we watched them wonder off back to where their bikes were. No one spoke for what seemed like hours, as if they were processing what had just happened.
I turned to Kasper, his face filled with a mix of anger and concern.
“I want to go to the clearing,” I told him.
He nodded, understanding what I meant. He guided me over to Julian’s car, opening the passenger door for me. I climbed in silently. I watched as he went over to Julian and the pair swapped keys. Kasper spoke to the rest of the group, all nodding at whatever instructions he was giving.
Kasper jumped into the driver’s seat of the car while everyone else got sorted with their vehicles. We all sped out of the tracks, heading to the familiar back road to the clearing. I didn’t say anything as we drove and Kasper didn’t ask me anything either, he just left me with my thoughts.
Ever since I had moved here, I had come back out of my shell. I had started to feel more like my old self, not some scared kid constantly looking over her shoulder, wondering when Jax would pop back up and ruin my life again.
I really dont know what I had done to the universe to deserve any of this. It now seemed like it was a big cosmic joke that someone was playing on me, that they were getting off on seeing me suffer.
For weeks after Jax had hurt me, I had stayed in my room. I didn’t want to face the world; I only came out when I had to talk to the police about what had happened. Why didn’t he go to jail? Did I wait too long before telling someone?
Seeing Jax went much more different than I had thought. I had expected me to cry my eyes out and run away or for Jax to grab me and try make off with me. But no, none of that happened, it was much calmer than any of that, only the occasional outburst from Aylee and the deadly tone which Kasper used.
What scared me the most was Jax saying that I would go back to him. I knew for an absolute fact that I wouldn’t go willingly, and he wasn’t above getting things he wanted by force, that I definitely knew.
“Shay?” The soft voice of Kasper pulled me out of my thoughts.
I didn’t even realise we had stopped until he said my name. I saw the others pulling up as well, parking just next to us. Julian had already jumped off the bike and was starting on a fire, the others were making their way to sit on the logs.
I made my way out of the car and into the arms of my best friend. Aylee hugged me like my life depended on it. I sat down next to her and Kasper.
“When you said he was a dick, you didn’t exaggerate,” Dustin said.
I nodded my head, smiling slightly but didn’t say anything.
“Are you okay Shay?” The small voice of Poppy asked.
I looked at her, seeing the concern written all over her face. Was I okay?
“Honestly, I really don’t know,” I answered.
“Hey, what did you and your Mum do today?” Aylee asked, changing the subject.
“We went shopping, had lunch and she finally told me about my dad,” I said with a smile on my face.
“What she says?” Kasper asked.
When I told them every little detail of the story, they listened intently. When retelling the story, I kept thinking that it was almost like a cheesy romance novel. The good girl and the bad boy fall in love. When I finished, practically everyone started to talk.
“Wait, so your dad started the tracks?” Dustin asked.
“Oh my god, your poor mother, getting kicked out like that,” Poppy said.
“Your dad sounds badass, no wonder where you get it from,” Luca said.
“What was his name?” Julian asked. The chatter died down, attention turning to Julian. There was a look on his face which I couldn’t decipher. “You just never said.”
“Christopher Delgado,” I told him.
“Wait, what?” Aylee said and turned her head to face me.
Others started to flick their eyes between Julian and I, shock on their faces.
“Why? What’s up?” I asked the group.
Julian chuckled to himself then glanced at Kasper who was smirking.
“Seriously, what?!” I asked again but louder.
“That’s my dad,” Julian said.
Excuse me? Did he just say what I think he just said? My mind couldn’t wrap around what was happening right now. I had a brother? Come to think of it, I didn’t know Julian’s last name either. Julian Delgado it seems.
Julian was a few months older than me, so it is possible that Christopher had knocked up some other girl before getting with my mum.
I studied Julian for a moment. We had almost the exact same hair colour and eye colour. Maybe that is something we got from our dad?
“Holy shit Shay, you have a brother.” Dustin’s voice brought me out of my thoughts.
I nodded, not really listening to the chatter from my friends. Kasper was quiet next to me and Julian wasn’t talking either, just watching me.
Wait, so does this mean that I am going to be able to meet my dad? Because if Julian knows that Christopher is his dad, he must have contact with him, he must see him.
I stood up and moved closer to Julian, sitting down next to him. He offered me a small smile.
“Do you see him?” I asked.
“I live with him, my mum literally dumped me on him a couple months after I was born then took off,” Julian explained.
“Oh shit, really?” I pulled a face.
“Nah, its fine. I don’t care really.” Julian shrugged.
I nodded slowly, taking in what he was saying. I opened and closed my mouth like a fish. I wanted to ask to meet him, but I didn’t know how to go about it. I didn’t want to just blurt it out.
“You want to meet him, don’t you?” Julian said, almost like he read my mind.
“More than anything,” I told him.
“Do you know if he knows about you?” Julian asked.
“Yeah, he does, Mum told him before she left. I think he wanted her to stay with him,” I said.
“He never mentioned you, must have been hard for him to lose you and your mum,” Julian commented.
“What is he like?” I asked.
Julian thought for a moment before answering me. “Honestly, he’s great. He’s a nice guy, very lenient and funny. Like real funny not dad joke funny.”
I smiled, thinking about him. I wonder what its going to be like when we meet. All the same unanswered questions swirled around my head yet again, but one main question was more important than anything. Will he like me?
That was definitely my biggest fear if I ever met my dad. What if he didn’t like me? What would I do then?
“Yo guys, its like after midnight!” Olly announced to all of us, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“I can’t be arsed to go anywhere now,” Aylee complained.
“Me either, you reckon eight of us can fit in there?” Luca asked, pointing to the hut.
Every single person turned to look at the hut, as if trying to assess it.
“Well, lets see… if the girls lie on their boyfriends and Luca lies on me, I’m sure we’ll fit,” Dustin said, smirking to himself.
Poppy, Aylee and I glared at Dustin but kept quiet. Poppy and I weren’t even officially going out with Kasper or Olly yet, or if ever in my case.
We all started to make our way to the hut, taking shoes off at the door. Olly and Luca grabbed the blankets and pillows off the truck, so we all had blankets. We all squished into the little hut, somehow, we could all fit. It was a good enough size to fit all of us, but I don’t think that anyone else would have been able to fit. This was probably a way of telling us our friendship group was at full capacity.
I was squashed in between my long-lost brother and my potential boyfriend. Well, that sounded weird to say…
I was facing Kasper, our noses just inches apart. After a short while, everything was silent.
“Are you okay?” Kasper whispered to me.
“Yeah, I just can’t believe that Julian is my brother, like two days ago I didn’t even have a dad and now I have a brother too?” I whispered back.
“Honestly, you guys kinda look alike,” Kasper told me, and I could distinctly see a smirk forming on his lips.
I playfully hit his shoulder before snuggling into him. Within minutes, I had fallen into a deep sleep.
Hey guys, hope you liked this chapter! If you did, could you please like, comment and review. Also, I have a Twitter page for my writing where I will put up author notes or where you could ask me questions about this book - @writinghelps853