“Well, well, well… what do we have here?” I turned around slowly, making eye contact with the best friend of my ex.
“Anton.” My voice was ice and I was instantly sobered, closing the passenger door to get a better look.
Kasper looked at Anton, who was surrounded by more of Jax’s friends, a look of confusion clearly on his face.
“We had all wondered where you had run off to, Shay.” Anton took a step forward and I took one back out of instinct.
I had never really liked Anton; he had always been a dick. He was the one to persuade me into first doing drugs, calling me all kinds of names and said that Jax would leave me if I didn’t have fun like he did.
Anton looked from me to Kasper, taking him in. “Who’s the puppy?”
“Fuck off, Anton,” I spat, yanking open the door again, I jumped in.
“Just wait until I tell Jax where you’ve been hiding! He’ll really want to see you; he misses his girl.” Anton shot Kasper a look when he said ‘his’, almost like he was staking a territory.
Kasper stayed outside the car, watching as Anton walked away laughing with his friends. Kasper looked at me through the windshield, before walking round to the driver’s side and getting in.
We didn’t say anything as he drove, it took me a little while before I knew where he was going. When he took the turn in for the clearing, I had figured it out.
My mind was on Jax. I didn’t want him to know where I was. If Anton could tell him, does that mean he never actually got charged? He never actually went to prison?
When Kasper stopped the car, I was completely absorbed in my thoughts. I could feel him looking at me as I thought.
Should I tell Mum? Was it just a threat? Maybe Jax is in jail and I am being overly paranoid. No, I won’t tell her, not until I have conclusive proof that he is freely wondering around, terrorising the world.
“Shay?” The smooth voice pulled me out of my inner rant.
I turned my head slowly, locking eyes with Kasper. He looked worried.
“Are you okay?” He asked.
I opened my mouth to reply, then closed it. Was I okay? Had I processed this yet? I felt okay but I also felt okay after I had been raped by Jax until it hit me a few days later.
“Honestly, I dont know,” I told him.
“Who was that?” Kasper asked.
“Jax’s best friend, we’ve never been on the best terms,” I said.
“Ah.” Kasper got out of the car and walked round to my side, opening the door.
When I got out, I was engulfed in a hug. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and inhaled his familiar scent, relaxing instantly.
I don’t know what it was, but I felt safe with Kasper. In the little time I had known him, I had come to trust him completely. I pulled back and looked at Kasper who was smiling down at me.
Just as I was about to lean up and kiss him, the loud sound of a firework broke through the silence. To my right, above the trees, I was able to see the fireworks which were being set off from the tracks.
“I thought that you would want to see them still,” Kasper whispered to me.
“I did, thank you.”
We watched the whole show with blankets wrapped around us which we had gotten from the little hut. We were leaning against the side of Kasper’s car and he had his arm tightly wrapped around me.
I lay my head on him, snuggled up in the crook of his arm. Right in this moment, despite what had just happened and what I was currently dealing with, everything was perfect.
I didn’t know if we were still playing a game or not. I didn’t know if Kasper felt similar feelings to what I had started to feel, but right now I didn’t care.
I wanted to ask him so much, but I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I valued my friends here so much. I didn’t want to say something incredibly stupid and ruin everything.
Once the fireworks were over, we went to sit in the little hut and spent the next few hours talking. Kasper didn’t ask me to tell me more about my past and he didn’t ask me anything more about Anton, almost like he knew that if I needed to, I could tell him when I was ready.
We were presently curled up on a pile of sleeping bags and pillows with four blankets draped over us and I was starting to feel sleepy. I checked the time on my phone, and it was half two in the morning.
“Oops.” I giggled and showed Kasper.
“What? No way, where the hell did the time go?” He said.
“I don’t know, but I dont wanna leave,” I mumbled and snugged more into Kasper.
“You look like you’re about ready to fall asleep right now,” Kasper told me, chuckling.
“I think I might, you know.” I closed my eyes, sighing into him.
The last words I heard before I fell asleep was: “you’re actually adorable.”
When I woke up in the morning, I couldn’t remember what had happened to start off with. But the movement and sound of deep breathing, caused all my memories to come flooding back. I sat up and took in the still sleeping angel lying down beside me.
I smiled to myself then picked up my phone which instantly blew up with messages as soon I as clicked the screen.
6:30am Aylee: dude last night was mint!!!
6:55am Aylee: i dont wanna get up for school! My hangover has kicked in!
7:36am Dustin: girl hope you got home safe and didn’t encounter the demon or its grand spawn!
7:48am Olly: Yo hope you’re okay! Aylee just texted saying she was dying!
8:15am Luca: where you at? School is gonna start soon!
8:24am Dustin: Shay!!! Where the fuck are you?
The texts went on like that for the next hour or so, and it had just occurred to me after reading the last one, to take note of the time. It was almost ten in the morning, school had started.
“Shit!” I turned around and smacked Kasper with a pillow, waking him up instantly.
“Huh? What?” Damn, how was his morning voice both adorable and sexy!
“Its like ten o’clock!” I shouted, jumping up.
“So?” I span round to look at him.
He was currently propped up on his elbows, smirking at my reaction to being late for school. I absolutely did not want to get into shit with Gran.
“What do you mean “so”?” I asked, glaring at him.
“We’ll get into more trouble walking in late than we would skipping the day, trust me, I know.” I thought about that for a second and he kind of had a point.
After considering it for a moment, I dropped back down next to him, and proceeded to face plant the pillow. I heard Kasper chuckle softly, obviously finding it funny. I don’t know what’s so funny about a purposeful face plant.
“Ah shit, need to text Dustin back.” I grabbed my phone and sent him a quick text telling him I was okay but stayed off because of a hangover, which technically wasn’t a lie.
“Hey, thank you for last night, I really needed that after seeing Anton,” I told him.
I was currently lying on my front, propped up on my arms and Kasper was lying on his side now, facing me.
“It’s okay, what are friends for?” He tucked a bit of hair behind my ear.
The word “friends” stung a little bit. Did he just see me as a friend? A friend who he has a game with? Am I just overthinking everything?
A million and one questions swirled around my head. I don’t know why this is constantly bothering me. Yeah, I did like him, but did I like him more than I thought I did? Did I want us to be more than friends?
“Hey, what are you thinking so hard about over there?” Kasper asked, a thoughtful look on his face.
I considered telling him the truth for a moment, but simply told him: “nothing, just still tired I guess.”
He nodded but didn’t look like he believed me.
For the next hour, Kasper and I played a question game. I always loved this game because it was a great way to pass the time and sometimes you could end up in hysterics from either the questions or the answers.
“If you could be any animal, what would it be?” Kasper asked.
“A bat, they’re so underrated and adorable and can fly!” I answered. “If someone gave you a grand to get a unicorn tattoo, would you?”
Kasper thought for a second. “Depends on the tattoo, a badass unicorn then yes but a bright pink one, fuck no. Would you rather be related to Hitler or be blind for the rest of your life?”
“Definitely be blind, Hitler’s a dick.” I paused, thinking of my next question. “How many girls you slept with?”
“Honestly, lost count,” Kasper said, looking guilty.
“Slut,” I fake coughed.
“Shut up.” Kasper and I burst out laughing
“So, last night…” Kasper started but trailed off.
“What about last night?” Why did I have the feeling he may ask more about Anton.
“Do you really think that guy will tell your ex?” He asked. Yep, I was right.
“Definitely will, he hates me and if Jax didn’t go to jail, he’ll definitely be looking for me.” I sighed and frowned. I didn’t want Jax to find me.
“Why did he get arrested in the first place?” Ah there it is, the million-dollar question.
I looked at Kasper, should I tell him? Will he look at me differently? I could see in his face that he knew I was wondering if I could trust him with this.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but just so you know, nothing you can say will change my opinion on you.” I smiled at his words.
I took a deep breath then moved into a sitting position and for the first time, I told someone the entire story. I had only told Mum and the police parts of it; I just hope he doesn’t look at me any different after hearing this.
“When I was fifteen, Mum and I moved to a new town. I was of course, the weird new kid in school again. Nothing much happened during my first few weeks but when Jax started to pay attention to me, I as thrilled. Jax was in the year above me and he was literally worshipped by like everyone in the school. He was every parent’s worst nightmare but every teenage girl’s bad boy fantasy.” Kasper was listening intently as I started to talk.
“When Jax started to talk to me, he was so sweet and lovely, like he couldn’t hurt a fly. He always made me laugh and the more time I spent with him, the more it seemed like I was falling in love. Three months into this new and exciting relationship, Jax introduced me to the world of racing, I was basically hooked on him. He taught me how to ride a bike, taught me how to race and like all the tricks of the trade. At four months into the relationship, I had already fucked him and had already started drinking at parties. I was still fifteen at this point.”
I paused, looking away from Kasper slightly before continuing.
“At five months in, I became a parent’s worst nightmare. I was doing drugs, and not just weed but like LSD and Cocaine. I’m pretty sure that I’d had Heroine at some point because I kept finding tiny needle like bruises after black outs. The worst I remember being was when I woke up in a field and was surrounded by strangers but Jax was no where in sight and I couldn’t remember how I had gotten there. That somehow brought me back to reality. That was when I decided that enough was enough. When I told Jax I wanted out, wanted to stop all the drugs and the drinking, he didn’t seem that pleased but seemed to accept it.
Then, when Jax was high or drunk and he’d want to have sex, he would use every trick in the book to guilt me into doing it, even if I didn’t want to. The absolute final straw for me was when I absolutely didn’t want to and he uh… well he raped me.”
I snuck a glance at Kasper who looked beyond furious, like so mad he could kill someone.
“That was when I finally told Mum and she marched me straight over to the police. When Jax was arrested, we moved to a new town. I didn’t make any friends or try to socialise with anyone, just kept my head down. I finally had a chance to think about my relationship with Jax. It had been a year full of abuse, manipulation, drugs, drinking and everything a fifteen or sixteen-year-old girl should not get involved in, but I didn’t know until I was out of it. But then when Mum was fired from her last job, we moved here, and I have never been so happy or content or safe than I am now.”
I didn’t realise I had been crying until Kasper moved his hand to wipe away my tears, he didn’t look as homicidal as before, his face had softened, and he looked at me with an unreadable expression.
“That’s a lot for someone to go through,” he simply said.
“Yeah, that’s kinda an understatement like.” I wiped away any remaining tears.
“But you have come out the other end as a stronger person, and I am actually so proud of you,” Kasper said, smiling.
“No one has ever said that to me before, thank you.”
Kasper grabbed my wrist and pulled me back down to him, wrapping his arms around me. I let myself be engulfed in the hug, I felt safe in his arms. I pulled away slightly and looked into his eyes.
Then before I knew it, I had leaned in and kissed him. This kiss felt different, it wasn’t like our usual fast paced and desperate kisses. It was softer and intimate. Kasper placed a hand on my cheek, cupping my head. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled me closer then pushed me down, so I was lying on my back, he hovered over me for a second before retaking my lips. Kasper had himself propped up on his elbows, his hands stroking the side of my head. I was trailing my fingers up and down his back.
We flipped so I was now straddling him, Kasper moved so he was sitting up. He gripped my waist and kissed me, his fingers trailing along hip bones. I moved my hands down to the bottom of his shirt and started to slowly tug it upwards, Kasper immediately tugged it over his head. I pushed him back down to a lying position, admiring the intricate lines of his tattoo. He watched me as I slowly pulled off my own top, throwing it to one side. His eyes darkened as he took in me just in my bra. I bent forward again and started to kiss down his neck, moving down across his chest then back up to his lips. Soft moans escaped him as my lips explored his body.
I moved so I was lying next to Kasper, his arm under my head. He pulled me close so that there was no space between our bodies. He intertwined our fingers, and slowly started to push me back down. He then moved his hand across my stomach, sending shivers throughout my body. He trailed his fingers further down my body until they reached the waistband of my jeans, but he didn’t stop there…
Hey guys, hope you liked this chapter! If you did, could you please like, comment and review. Also, I have a Twitter page for my writing where I will put up author notes or where you could ask me questions about this book - @writinghelps853