The Beginning
So, I guess there is no true beginning to this story. I mean you can look for one but, you would come up empty handed mostly. Though 7th grade is when all the drama started so, let's start there. It was that summer that I found that video the video that explained gay and queer and all the terms in between. When I saw it, I thought nothing of it but a couple of weeks later I started to wonder. What I was wondering about was the term panromantic asexual. That is when I got the idea to google it, worst decision of my life. I just got more confused form there it was like every definition was written by a know it all heterosexual. That is where YouTube comes in handy because the internet is full of collage graduate queers. That summer is when I accepted, I was different then most of the 7th graders at my small school in Tennessee. School was already hard with being one of the tallest girls with short hair and good grades. The hair really did not help, shaved sides with colored bangs so, you already know gay and fag where being thrown around.What was even worse is that most of my family and friends are super Christian. There are some open lesbians at my school but, most got picked on. I was basically a lgbtq+ duck setting in a field with hundreds of homophobic hunters.
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It was the frist day of school and I am a little jumpy around my Christian friends like they could read my mind. One friend I was not jumpy around was Haven though she is Christian she never looked down the lgbtq+ people at our school and even hung around them. I felt safe with her it dose not hurt that we have been friends since we were little. The day was doing great until 6th period which was math and that was bad enough but, when I walked into the classroom the only seat open was next to a girl I have only talked to once. Shit was the only word that came to mind because damn I was screwed. I sat down and looked up with her piercing grey eyes. "Hey, how are you. Oh, my name is Grace." I say my eyes filling with fake curiosity hiding my fear. She looked at me like was trying to into my soul, "Good, and um Piper. You?" she spoke softly. Dammit, she did did the one thing I prayed she wouldn't. Asking me how I was. "Good." I said while getting out my stuff hoping she would drop the conversation. My problem is, one I am very snarky so I could easily hurt her feelings and two I really need someone else I would lose when and if I came out. Boy how wrong I was. She looked like she was going to say something but, thank god that is when the teacher started talking, "Hello my name is Mrs.Right I will be teaching math this year I hope we have a good year." She was smiling and looking around the classroom I smiled back looking way more confident than I felt. "Is it just me or are you not looking forward to math this year too." Piper whisper softly. I let out quite short at least she has a good sense of humor. Math class went by very quick and it looked like this year wasn't going to be as bad as I thought. It also looked like Piper could be a very good friend the only problem was when I come out, I am going to lose all this every bit. I silently made the agreement that I would keep her at a distance until I knew her opinions on gays. If it was negative then when I dissapear, she will never miss me. I can't even let my mind wonder down the path of acceptance because if I get my hopes up then they will be shattered. I just could not handle that.
