and my memories.
He shook his head and a few tears escaped, running down his face and the length of his face as he buried his face in her lap.
Her hands had stilled in his hair, not moving and when he dared a glance at her face, he saw that she sat still with an emotional canvas of a face, but he knew he was listening.
Grabbing one of her hands, he cradled it in both of hers and brought it up to his mouth where he pressed a warm kiss against her palm, closing his eyes and savouring the moment. When he opened his eyes, she was looking at him. She didn't say anything and she didn't pull away, she just looked at him with a curious look in her eyes.
He knew that she wanted more, needed more.
He laced his fingers with hers and laid his head back down on her lap, just allowing himself that one moment and peace and serenity, the one moment where he felt that he was almost whole again and that even a small part of her remember him and what they used to be.
But this was not the time for wishful thinking.
"You were planning to come and surprise me at the office, but you never made it there." He started, but gulped down a few packets of air, swimming back to the surface in search of salvation.
She didn't respond.
Despite her blank expression and questionable silence, he knew that she was listening.
And so, he carried on because he knew that the both of them needed to hear this. That she deserved to be told the truth and that it was his duty to do so.
He closed his eyes and cradled her palm against his face, not brushing away the burning tears which he had been holding in for so long. "You were hit from the side by a drunk driver..." he paused, sobbing silently. "You were eight and a half months pregnant at the time, but you never listen. You didn't listen then and most definitely don't listen now."
"I didn't know about it until they had rushed you into surgery." His sob was loud and heart-breaking as all the memories rushed back to him all at once.
Her other hand tangled in his hair as she looked down at him; so vulnerable. She had never seen him like this, but that probably had a lot to do with the fact that she didn't want to know him despite his many efforts.
"They told me that the situation was critical and that I had to make a decision," he sniffed, clutching her hand closer to his chest. She could feel the rapid thumping and beating of his heart. It felt like home.
"They told that they could only save one of you. You or our baby. You or Jonathon. I didn't know what to do. What was I supposed to do? My wife or my baby? I needed both of you in my life but that wasn't possible because I could only have one."
Her fingers played with his hair, her slender fingers raking through the silky strands of his hair as she waited patiently for the rest of the story.
"I chose Jonathon," he whispered. "Even though I needed you both, I chose Jonathon because I knew that was what you would have wanted. I knew that was the decision that you would have made, so I decided to save our baby."
A sense of relief had washed over hair, knowing that he saved their baby.
But then she remembered that she was here and he wasn't. The stinging sensation in her heart returned once again as she listened to the rest of what he had to say.
"They saved him. You gave birth to him but then your machines started going off, and your heard beat started going down and you were dying." He gulped another breath of air, the pain prickling his skin as he cried over the memories which he refused to forget and the ones that she couldn't remember. "They did manage to save you, but by that time our baby had died. He wasn't ready to come out and couldn't survive."
Tears streamed down her face and she fisted her hand subconsciously in his hair.
"I-" he began but was cut off by a loud, mournful sob. "He died in my arms. He wasn't ready for this world and he died."
He pulled away from her and dropped her hand only to stand up and pull her into a hug, crushing her petite body against his large, broad frame. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and tightened his arms around her, refusing to let go. She sobbed into him and fastened her arms around him in return.
They clung to each other, scared that if they let go then the other would disappear just as quickly as their baby had.
He whispered the rest into her ear, not daring enough to look into her eyes just yet. "You woke up after a few days, but you couldn't remember me. You had amnesia and the doctors didn't know how long your memories would come back."
"You couldn't remember me and everything that had happened, but deep inside, you knew. You started to get depressed and would cry yourself to sleep every night. You couldn't remember but your heart could never forget. You couldn't remember but I could never forget."