Chapter 31: Guilt
“Whenever you want me to, Luna,” Danny said with a bit of laughter in his voice, I could already picture him smirking with that stupid face of his.
“Just pick me up two hours from now, I’ll text you the address later,” I said to him with an annoyed attitude.
“Alright then, I’ll see you tonight then.” He said shortly as he hung up the phone.
Holding the phone against my ear still, I couldn’t believe that I was gonna go through with this. I could feel my hands shaking a bit with fright and worriedness of my decision.
There’s no going back though, I have to do this. I need to know what happened, I have so many questions that have to be answered.....
“Elijah, please.....come back to me. I miss you....so much.” I said to myself as I placed the phone down on my bed. I then held my stomach with both of my hands and laid myself down, the fear of being pregnant began to overcome me with uneasiness as I slowly began to cry.
Is it so wrong of me, hoping that I am pregnant, even a little? I know I’m not in the right state of mind to have a child, I know I’m a child myself but....it’s the only attachment I have left of Eli.
“Luna! Dinner is ready!” My mother said yelling out from the kitchen.
I then quickly stood myself up from the bed and wiped away the tears on my face. I began to walk towards the mirror in my room to make sure my makeup wasn’t ruined, as I looked at myself in the reflection. I saw a girl, a girl who looked fragile and easy to break.
So I gently place my fingers lightly against the glass and tried to look deeper inside me. Trying to find any kind of strength that I have left to keep myself from not going insane. I’m afraid of being alone, I’m scared of never being able to see Eli again. It terrifies me just thinking about it, but.....
“I won’t be easily broken, I’ll stay strong, not only for myself. But for the people I love.” I said quietly as I walked out of my room.
Making my way to the kitchen, I saw my mother already eating her dinner.
“Where’s Dad? He’s not gonna eat with us?” I asked her as I sat myself down beginning to eat my food.
“He already ate earlier sweetie, and what time are you going to Alexa’s house?”
“In an hour or two,” I replied feeling horrible, I tried to finish my food quickly so I could avoid anymore lies that we’re coming out of my mouth. I hate how much I’ve been having to lie to my family these past few weeks. It makes me feel like sh*t, but I don’t know what else to do...
“Oh, okay then. Do you need me to take you to her house?” She asked of me, while she held a tender smile. It only made my heart feel more guilty.
“N..no, umm....I’ma get picked up instead,” I responded as I tried to avoid her stare.
“Oh really, well that’s good. It gives me more time to take care of your father.” She said with a little laughter in her voice, however, I could see the tiredness in my mother’s eyes. I know she’s been stressed and tired lately, she’s been so busy taking care of me and now she’s having to take care of my dad. That she doesn’t have any time for herself.
It only makes me want to start working as soon as I can, so I can take care of them. They’ve done so much for me that I want to be able to give back...
“Well, I hope you have fun sweetie. And tell Alexa I said ‘hi’ and to ‘behave’.” My mother voiced out as she stood herself up from the table.
“Yeah...I will.” I answered back quietly as I took a sip of my glass of water.
Soon after I’m texting Danny my address, I then looked at what I was wearing in the mirror. A simple white button long sleeve and some black jeans were all I was wearing. I didn’t want to wear anything that might attract attention towards me, especially since I’m having Danny picking me up in a few minutes. I want to look as plain as possible, and not give him any vibes that I’m interested in him.
I’ma make sure I have my guard up tonight, no matter what! As I continued to look at myself in the mirror, my phone suddenly began to ring. Excepting it to be Danny I didn’t bother to look at the caller ID as I answered it.
“LUNA! ARE YOU FUCK*NG KIDDING ME! TELL ME YOU’RE NOT AT THAT STUPID PARTY RIGHT NOW!” Hearing his sudden yelling made me pull the phone away from my ear. I then knew who it was without looking at the screen, yet I looked anyways to see that it really was Ren who called me.
“What? What are you talking about?” I answered back to him trying to sound clueless. Though I know what he was probably talking about.
“Don’t f*cken play with me right now! I called Alexa earlier to see if you’re doing okay, and she sounded weird on the phone. She was also avoiding my questions when I was asking her about the party tonight, so I know you’re there!” Ren shouted out loudly on the other line with anger.
“What, are you my f*cken stalker now!? I’m not even at the party yet!” I voiced out with annoyance towards him.
“What do you mean ‘yet’? Luna! Don’t you dare go, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into!” He responded with force in his voice.
“You know what Ren! You’re not my Mom, you’re not my Dad. You’re not Elijah to tell me what to do! I’m going to that party tonight and Danny is taking me. So I don’t care what you have to say, goodbye.”
“Luna-” I immediately hung up on him not wanting to listen anymore to what he had to say. He has no right to tell me what to do with my life!
Just as I was about to throw my phone across the bed, I got a sudden text from Danny. Without even opening his message, I looked right out the window and saw that he had up pulled up next to my house. So I quickly grabbed my bag and stuffed my phone in my pocket.
“Mom, I’m heading out now,” I said to her as I quickly made my way to the living room.
“Alright sweetie, do you have everything for the sleepover?” My mother asked me as she sat at the dining table with her laptop in front of her.
“Ye..yeah, I have everything in my bag. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay Mom?” I responded as I opened the front of the door of the house.
“Well, I love you, and call me if you need anything.” My mother said as she watched me leave the front door.
“I love you too... bye Mom.” I then shut the door behind me and let out a guilty sigh.
Turning myself around, I saw that Danny was in his car giving me a mischievous look. I slowly started to make my way towards his car feeling really on edge, his stare was making me feel nervous and uncomfortable the closer I got to him.
As I opened the passenger side of his car, I sat myself down not saying a word to him.
“You’re a brave little girl, Luna,” Danny said with a smirk look on his face.
“Just take me to the party,” I responded sternly while avoiding his stare.
“Whatever you say little one, you know you’re kinda cute when you wanna act tough.” He said with a flirtatious tone as he began to drive.
For the rest of the car ride, Danny did not say one word to me. Though I would feel his eyes looking at me from time to time, I tried my best to ignore him and to not be intimidated. Though I couldn’t help but squeeze my bag tightly against my body. There was something about the way he looked at me, that made me want to run away with fear. I’m sure it’s because of what he said to me this morning at the lockers, he looked so scary and I truly believed that he was going to hit me at school.
He then suddenly turned on the radio and played some music that was a bit too dark for my liking. Though I rather hear this creepy music then have to deal with the awkward silence between Danny and me. I’m just glad we don’t have to talk to one another. I just wish this car ride didn’t feel so long...
I finally felt relieved when I noticed that we were pulling up next to Luke’s place. My tensed shoulders dropped down and I felt a bit relaxed, however once Danny was done parking the car he suddenly faced his body towards me.
He then started to lean his body closer to mine. My body went back to feeling tensed once again and I began to panic with fright. Is he going to hurt me? Is he still mad at what happened in school today?
“Wh..what are you doing?!” I said with my voice starting to tremble, I didn’t want him to think that I was afraid of him, even though deep down I was completely terrified. The scar on his lips and the many bruises across his face showed very clearly as he inched himself closer to me.
“Stay...stay away from me!” I yelled at him, only this time I tried to sound angry.
Though he completely ignored me as he reached out his hand, I instinctively closed my eyes and held my bag tightly against my chest. I waited for his hand to touch me, though it never did. All I heard was a clicking noise and something opening. So I opened my eyes very slowly, I saw that Danny had opened the glove compartment in front of me. An was searching for something.
“You’re not my type, I prefer easy bitches, Luna. But if you’re ever-horny, I could always fix that for you.” Danny explained with a sneer as he pulled out a strip of condom wrappers from the compartment in front of me. He then shoved them in his pocket and stepped out of the car.
“Don’t flatter yourself, you’re a disgusting pig that gets a rise out of hurting others,” I said to him with annoyance, he really is a f*ck boy just like Alexa said. I mean why the hell does he need that many condoms in the first place!?
“You should really watch how you talk to me, or else...I won’t be responsible for what happens to you tonight.” He responded with a dangerous smile.
“Is that suppose to be a threat?” I asked him as we both approached the front door of the house.
“You can take it however you want it, I’m just saying that you’re gonna regret f*cking with me,” Danny replied with a cold stare, his eyes were full of hatred and rage. However, he continued to give me that creepy smile of his throughout the whole ride here.
“Aren’t you gonna answer that?” Danny asked me as he opened the front door, he then blended in with the crowd that I soon lost sight of him.
Realizing what he was saying, I noticed that it was my phone that he was referring to, so I immediately pulled it out and saw that it was Ren who was calling me. Gripping the phone firmly, I decided to answer his call.
“What do you want?” I said feeling frustrated as I watched many people pass right by me to get to the house.
“Luna, I’m on my way to pick you up.” He said casually as if it was the most natural thing to do.
“What?! No, why...why are you coming here? I didn’t ask you to come! An I’m not going back home, just stay out of my business Ren.” I responded loudly, he should clearly hear how upset I am right now. So why is he always butting in?!
“I’ll be there in 30 minutes.” He said nonchalantly as he hung up the phone.
Are you serious right now?! He’s being so stubborn and stupid that it’s ridiculous, it’s like nothing I said got through to him at all! I swear I don’t know who’s more stubborn. Him or Elijah...
I then realized what I was thinking, why am I even comparing Eli to Ren, they’re both completely different people.
“Eli...” I caught myself saying his name again, I wonder if I will see him tonight? I know that the chances of him being here are slim, but there has to be someone here that knows what happened to him.
Opening the door, my ears were soon filled with heavy music, and I could smell the heavy scent of marijuana. I’m soon hit with a bitter flashback memory of when I last came to this house. Though I tried to ignore that and focus on the main reason why I’m here.
The first person I should ask about Eli’s whereabouts is the main host of this party...Luke.