Chapter 36: New Chance
Not too long after Ren dropped me off my parent’s house, he asked me to wait outside my house once I came back from my dad’s check-up. I didn’t ask why, but I just assumed he wanted to know about my father’s test results. My head was already filled with wordiness and stress, that I just couldn’t handle any more problems than we’re happening in life.
My mother and I waited for what seemed like hours in the waiting room because once we arrived at the hospital they wasted no time checking my father in for testing. I’m sure my mother was more worried and anxious then I was, I just wish we didn’t have to go through with this. So I pray and hope that everything will be okay and we could all go back home worried free.
“What is it, honey.” My mother voiced out with exhaustion in her voice as she put her phone down.
“Will dad...be okay?” I asked her as I began to play with the edge of my shirt. I couldn’t hold still with how nervous I was getting, all this waiting was driving me insane!
“I hope so sweetie, but whatever happens. Will get through this together as a family.” She said to me with a weak smile, I could tell my mother was trying so hard to stay strong in front of me, but I knew that deep down she was scared just like I was.
After another long hour, my father and his doctor step out of a room with such a serious look on there faces. My anxiety level couldn’t be any worse than how it was now, my mother and I quickly rushed towards my father’s side and waited for what the doctor had to say. Nothing could prepare me for what was to come...I just wish that it was all just a terrible nightmare.
The dread heading back home was very hard. It was difficult for me not to break down in front of my parents, my dad didn’t say a single word the whole time. Even when we got home, he couldn’t look at me or my mom. It breaks my heart having to deal with this at such a young age, I just wish my father didn’t have to go through with this at all!
My mother didn’t have the strength to do much when we got home either, she tried talking to my dad but he just wanted to be left alone. I can’t say I don’t blame him, I’m sure he has a lot going through his mind.
“Hey...mom, have you umm...heard anything from Miss. Red.” I asked her awkwardly as I sat on the living room couch right next to her. I knew it was a random subject to bring up, but I just wanted to get her mind off of things.
“Oh! Sweetie, I’m so sorry, but I forgot to tell you. She umm, she moved a few weeks ago. I’m so sorry honey, I’ve been so stressed lately with everything that I forgot to mention it, I last spoke to her a few days ago on the phone. She’s seeing a therapist at the moment with what happened with Elijah-” my mother then quickly stopped what she was about to say, and gave me a sympathetic look. It’s been months since my parents brought up Elijah, I guess they just didn’t want to bring back a painful memory.
“It’s okay mom, you don’t have to worry anymore about me. I have to accept the fact that Eli is probably...gone. But uh...why..why did Miss. Red leave?” I asked her in shock as I grabbed my mother’s hand. This was my mom’s best friend, so I’m sure she’s a bit upset with Miss. Red leaving.
“Honey, just call her Red. She just couldn’t handle what happened, so she decided to just leave and start a new life. But it’s been very hard for her to move on, so she needs a little bit of help.” My mother responded as she gripped my hand lightly.
“I understand, it’s been hard for me too. Not a day goes by where I don’t miss him, I wake up every morning thinking that maybe he’ll come back. I sometimes even check my phone to see if I might have gotten a text or call from him...but I have to accept the reality just like Red did.” I said to my mother as I began to tear up.
“Luna, I need you, to be honest with me when I asked you this.” She said to me in a serious tone as she shifted her body towards me.
“What is it”
“Sweetie....did you love him?” My mother asked me as she continued to grip my hand, only this time she gripped it a bit more tightly. I was honestly shocked by what I just heard her say I wasn’t expecting to hear those words from her.
“Yea...yeah. Of course, I did we were all like family-”
“Luna, you know what I mean.” My mother stopped me from speaking any further, I knew I made it obvious how much I loved him. I mean whenever I saw him, I instantly smiled. Even when his name would get brought up, I would get so excited and cheerful. So, of course, my mother would catch on to me...I really can’t hide anything from her.
I felt the light tears coming down my face as I remember what it felt like to be happy when Eli was still here. An ever since he left, I’ve yet to smile on my own. My mother then wiped my tears away from my cheeks and brought herself closer to me, she leaned herself forward and brought her arms around me as she pulled me in for a hug. I could feel the comfort and the love that my mom was giving me and I knew that I had to be there for her. Just how she is there for me, so I wrapped my arms around my mother and we stayed in an embrace for a while until we both felt better, though I’m also sure it’s because my mother didn’t want me to see her cry. Since my shoulder felt a little wet after we parted from our hug.
My mom then patted my back as she stood herself up. I then watched her go to her room where my dad was, I hope my mom could cheer my dad up very soon. I want him to smile again, but then again who am I to talk. I haven’t smile in front of my dad in weeks...
Not too long after my mother left for the room, I get a sudden text from somebody. Pulling out my phone I see that it’s from Alexa, I’ve been so busy that I completely forgot to let her know what’s been going on. Just as I was about to call her, my phone began to ring. It caught me by surprise that I paused for a second as I looked at the caller ID.
“Ren,” I answered the call while saying his name.
“Hey, are you home?” He asked, his voice sounded a bit unease as well as his breathing.
“Yeah, I uh...I just got back.” I answered truthfully as I stood up from the couch.
“Then can you come outside, please,” Ren asked kindly as he waited for an answer. I know he said he wanted me to wait outside my house for him, but I never said yes or agreed on it. I don’t know if I wanna see him right now, not after what happened today, but maybe...
As I thought of an answer to give him, I walked towards the blinds in the living room and peeked through the window to see that Ren was already waiting outside. He’s very persistent, and maybe that’s a good thing....maybe I need someone to talk to. An that someone could probably be Ren.
As I continued to look out the window, I gripped my phone steadily and exhaled quietly.
“Okay,” I answered calmly as I hanged up.
Opening the door, Ren was already sitting down on the front porch waiting for me. He didn’t turn to look at me, instead, he was looking up at the cloudy sky that was right above us. I then took a few steps towards Ren and took the empty space right next to him. We were both now sitting down looking up at the same sky, it was so gray and dull. Almost as if the sky could cry any minute with how sad it looked.
“I think it’s going to rain.” Ren finally spoke as he continued to look at the clouds.
“Yeah...” I answered back shortly.
“So how did it go with your dad? Is he okay?” He asked next, only this time, his eyes were now focused on me. I couldn’t look at him without breaking down, so I averted my gaze and looked at hands that we’re starting to tremble.
“Luna, please. Don’t hold it in, please tell me.” He said worriedly as he grabbed hold of my hand. Just how many times has this hand helped me, he’s always been there for me. Even when I didn’t want it, even when I tried to push him away. He always ends up helping me somehow...
I then release the many tears that I was holding back. An felt myself drowning in my own pain as I buried myself into Ren’s chest.
“It’s my dad......he might have cancer,” I said to him as my voice cracked in absolute pain, my chest felt heavy and I felt unable to breathe right as I tighten my hold on Ren’s shirt. I then felt his strong arms wrapped around my body as well as his big hands that we’re rubbing my back so tenderly.
“Why...why did it have to be my dad! I’m already going through so much, that I don’t think I could handle going through this!” I said loudly in total distress.
“Luna, look at me. Your not gonna go through this alone, I promise you. I’ll be by your side-”
“That’s just what Elijah said! And look at what happened! What makes you think I could believe anything you have to say!?” I yelled at him with frustration, I then quickly stood up on my feet and marched down the few steps of stairs on the front porch. I’ve had it with people coming into my life and taking advantage of me and my weakness. Is there no one I can trust...
“Luna! Wait, where are you going?! It’s getting late!” Ren shouted from behind as he chased after me. I didn’t wanna face him, because then I would just release all the anger and hate on him. He doesn’t deserve it with how supportive he’s been with me, but that doesn’t mean I can trust him.
“I’m going for a walk! Don’t follow me!” I shouted at him as I continued to walk down the street. I soon started to pick up the pace until I started to run, I could hear Ren shouting out my name from behind until his voice started to fade away from the heavy rain that began to fall down on me.
Water drops kept hitting my face as I continued to run nonstop. I had no idea where I was going, all I wanted was to let out all this darkness and negativity that was in my heart! I finally came to a stop to catch my breath, I was so heated that I didn’t realize how cold it has gotten. I could see my own breath fog out as the rain got heavier around me, my whole body was trembling and I couldn’t stop it.
As I caught my breath, I raised my head to look at the cloudy dark sky that was right above me. The cool wet drops of rain-soaked up all my clothes and my hair, I was starting to feel the coldness that was surrounding me and the coldness that was slowly consuming my heart.
“Eli...your not coming back...are you...” I voiced out quietly underneath the heavy rain. The emptiness in those words, made me realized that...I never existed in his heart. I soon saw some headlights shine towards me as I stood there in total sorrow.
The car soon pulled over and I watched as the engine was turned off. I already knew who’s vehicle it was without even having to see the driver’s face. So I immediately turned around and began to walk back home.
“Luna! Stop this already!” Hearing those words, I chose to ignore Ren as I heard him slam the car door shut.
“I told you not to follow me assh*le!” I yelled out in annoyance as I stomped my feet on the wet pavement.
“And I told you that I’m not going anywhere! Do you really think I could leave you alone right now?! You’re going through some f*ck sh*t that’s making you lose yourself! So how can I just stand back and do nothing but watch you suffer!” Ren yelled out in frustration as he grabbed my arm, he then turned me around to face him as we both continued to get drenched in the heavy rain together.
“What then! What can you do to make things better!” I screamed out towards him as I tighten both my fists in anger.
“I’ll make sure you no longer cry, I’ll make sure to be there for you whenever you need me. But most importantly, I’ll make sure to make you smile and be happy again, Luna.” Ren voiced out, he held a look of sincerity and his eyes like he was hurting as well. I wasn’t even sure if those were tears coming down his cheek or just the rain itself.
“How can I trust you...” I said to him with heartache. How can I trust anyone, when the most important person in my life took that away from me...
I then lashed out my anger towards him as I started to beat on his chest with all the strength I had left in me.
“How can I trust you! Tell me! Because he said the same f*cking thing! He told me he loved me! He said that will always be together! He said those words...Eli-”
“I’M NOT HIM!” Ren shouted out loudly as he grabbed both my hands. He then looked at me as if I was some fragile flower that could wither away at any moment.
“I’m not Eli, so don’t push me away because of him. I need you to give me a chance, Luna.”
“Why...why are you going out of your way to do so much for me.” Right as I asked him those words, my lips were sealed with his. His lips were cold and wet, just like mine. But I didn’t push him away...I accepted it. Because I knew that deep down, that it was okay to let my guard down when I was with him.
“It’s because I love You.” He whispered to me as we parted our lips from each other. I was speechless with what he just said, I never would have excepted those words to come from him. I didn’t think anyone would tell me those words again...
I stood there in silence, unsure of what I should say. I never really thought about liking anyone else or even dating someone else. I always thought that Eli would be the only person I could be with, but maybe this is a chance for me to move forward...
“Come on, let’s get out of the rain,” Ren said as he held my hand, we then approached his car as the rain started to come down slowly.
Right as we both got in, Ren turned on the heater for the both of us to warm up. The warm air felt comforting and soothing to the numb cold body I was in.
“Here, put this on.” Ren gestured to me as he wrapped his sweater around me. It smelled just like him, it was soft and so warm. Just like his kindness that he has always shown me.
“Ren, I’m sorry...I’m so sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you.” I voiced out to him in sadness as I held on to his sweater.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize,” Ren responded as he tucked my wet hair behind my ear.
“I don’t want to use you as some kind of rebound-”
“I don’t care if you use me as some kind of rebound, I just want you to give me a chance. To give us, a chance...” Ren voiced out bluntly as he pushed his wet hair back from his face.
I don’t know what Ren sees in me that makes him want to date someone like myself. There are so many pretty girls he could choose from other than me, I mean Ren is a really good looking guy so why would he waste his time and energy on me?
Time seemed to have stopped for both of us as we sat in his car hearing the rain continuing to fall. I thought hard on what I wanted for my future, and what I wanted was just happiness.
“Ren....I’ll give you a chance. If you promise me one thing.” I finally had the courage to speak up the words I was feeling. It’s time for me to choose my path and the future that I want. I will no longer let someone control me of what I want anymore. The look on Ren’s face showed how stunned he was from my response, even I was a bit surprised.
“Anything! Just ask me what it is and I’ll promise you that I’ll keep it.” He responded eagerly, I could see how flustered he was getting as he shifted his body towards me.
“Promise me...that you’ll never hurt me,” I asked him as I faced my body towards Ren.
“Of course! Is that it though?” He answered quickly as he looked at me with tensity in his eyes. Nodding my head reassuringly, I stuck out my pinky to seal the promise. However, Ren gave a confused look as he stared at my pinky.
“Is your pinky okay?” He asked me a bit worriedly as he began to rub it as if I hurt it. I instantly let out a giggle as I pulled my hand away.
“I finally made you laugh.” Ren pointed out with a smile. It’s been so long that I’ve last laughed that I didn’t realize it until now.
“You never heard of a pinky promise have you, Ren?” I asked him as I gave him a light smile.
“Nope, I’ve never heard of such a thing.” He answered with a chuckle.
Grabbing his hand, I hooked his pinky with mine as we both stared at one another.
“Promise me, that you’ll never hurt me,” I said to him again as I waited for his response.
“I pinky promise you, that I will never hurt you until the day I die.” Ren voiced out so serious as he reached out for my cheek with his other hand. He then lightly rubbed my cold cheek with his warm hand as he continued to stare at me so tenderly.
Smiling at him, I leaned my head on his broad chest as I slowly closed my eyes shut. I don’t know what future holds for me, but I just hope that I’m happy with the person I love. An whether that person might be Ren or not, I’m ready for whatever happens.