Chapter 39: Thinking Back
After Ren and I cleaned ourselves up, we quickly let Eric and Alexa into our home. I would have never thought in a million years that the person that Eric liked was Alexa herself! Even though they been together for a few years now, it’s nice to know that things are going well for the both of them. An Eric seems like a nice guy, a lot better than Alexa’s ex, I still can’t believe that he cheated on her and got some other girl pregnant! I’m just relieved that Alexa was smart enough to use protection when she was with him. I just hope things go well for her in this new relationship.
“What took you guys so long answering the door? It’s cold out there! I was freezing my butt off you know!” Alexa voiced out as she continued to hug me as I let her inside.
“Yeah it getting colder this winter, I think it might even snow more this year,” Eric responded as he shook Ren’s hand.
“Really? An sorry about taking long, we were....cleaning a bit.” I quickly voiced out as I tried to avoid the topic. I’m no longer embarrassed about my sex life, but that doesn’t mean the whole world needs to know when I have sex. An also, it’ll just be awkward if I tell them!
“Clean? Clean what? The house looks spotless....wait...were you guys-”
“Alright! Are we all ready to leave!? Because I know I am!” I responded loudly to stop whatever Alexa was about to say. I swear I can never let my guard down whenever I’m with her. I then grabbed my coat that was laying on the couch and watched Ren leave upstairs to get the car keys.
Alexa let out a quiet giggle as she hooked her arm around mine. As we waited for Ren to come back down the stairs, Eric pulled out a wrapped lollipop from his pocket and began to unwrap it.
“So how’s the ‘no smoking’ coming along?” I asked Eric as he began to suck on his yellow lollipop. He then gave a snicker look at me as he reached for his pocket again.
“It’s been going alright I guess. There are times where I still crave a cigarette, but I really have to quit. Not really for my health specifically but for other reasons.” He said while giving Alexa a loving smile, he then pulled out another wrapped lollipop from his pocket and offered it to me. I kindly took it as I gave Alexa and Eric a weird look, we all then heard footsteps coming down the stairs knowing that it was Ren who was coming down.
“Alexa, what is Eric talking about?” I asked her as Ren stood right next to me while putting on his jacket.
“Well, we wanted to wait until everything was okay within a couple of weeks. But you know I can’t hide anything from you.” She began to explain as she wrapped her arms around Eric’s torso. They both then looked at each other so lovingly into each other’s eyes as they smiled so gracefully.
“No way! That’s awesome, congratulations you guys!” Ren voiced out excitedly as he gave both of them a hug.
“Huh? What’s going on?” I asked with confusion in my voice.
“You still haven’t figured it out?” Ren said teasingly as he wrapped his arm around my waist.
“Apparently not, you all know I’m clueless. So what’s happening?” I asked them all as I put the lollipop inside my sweater pocket.
“I’m pregnant!” Alexa responded with excitement as she clapped her hands together. I then immediately stopped what I was doing, and looked at her to see if she was joking. But I couldn’t find any hint on her face that showed that she was kidding. Feeling my eyes beginning to water I swiftly wrapped my arms around Alexa so affectionately and with so much love that I could feel my tears starting to come down.
“Oh my god! Are you serious, this...this is real. You’re having a baby!” I responded to her as I felt her arms wrap around my back as well. I could hear sniffling as she nodded her head, we’re both still such big cry babies!
“Told you, you were gonna cry when you told them.” Eric voiced out with a chuckle.
“I can’t believe it, how? When? When did you find out! Do you know if it’s gonna be a boy or a girl?” I began to ask them questions as I pull away from her hug, as I wiped away my tear I stared down at Alexa’s little tummy and got such a warm feeling inside me. I hope it comes out a healthy baby.
“How about we both ride separately so we can chat on the way there. You and me in one car and Eric and Ren can take the other car?” Alexa suggested as she wiped her tears as well.
“Yeah! I like that idea!” I shouted excitedly as I swiped the car keys from Ren’s hands.
“Fine, will do that. Just drive safe alright Luna.” Ren said to me as he kissed my forehead sweetly.
“I’ll be fine don’t worry, now shoo! I will meet up with you guys at the cemetery, okay.” I said to both of them as I gesture my hand away from them playfully.
We all then got into two separate vehicles, I took Ren’s car and Ren went into Eric’s car. I wanted to catch up on things with Alexa, we may talk on the phone a lot. However, we haven’t spent much time with one another since she’s been busy with college. I’ve been working at Ren’s family flower shop, so it’s nice that we could finally meet up with each other.
“So how you been lately, Luna?” Alexa asked me as I began to drive down the street, following Eric from behind.
“Things have been going well actually, Ren and I finally paid off the house. Ren’s parents will be coming down here for the holidays. So it’s exciting!” I said to her as I gave her a quick smile.
“That’s good, you and Ren are so lucky that Ren’s parents gave you the house they were staying at. I can’t believe you moved in with him after your graduated though, but then again I did move in with Eric right when I turned 17. So maybe I’m the crazy one? Either way, were both insane to move in with our men so young.” Alexa said as she turned on the heater in the car.
“Well, Ren’s parents did want to move back to there home town, which is like 4 hours away from where we live. But Ren wanted to stay here, so he decided to just take over the house payment for us to stay in. So it worked out for everyone, and I think your more insane then I am. Your already pregnant and I’ve been dating my man longer then you have.” I responded with a chuckle, I then reached into my pocket and pulled out the lollipop. Alexa then got the gesture of what I was going to do, so she took the lollipop from my hand and began to unwrap it for me.
“I may be crazy, but you will always be more clumsy and clueless. Oh! You should also get pregnant so we can have our babies grow up together!” Alexa voiced out with happiness in her voice. As she handed me the lollipop.
As she said those words, I thought back to the possibility of my
pregnancy. I didn’t want to tell Alexa about it since it wasn’t a for sure thing yet, as I took the lollipop from Alexa’s hand I noticed what shade of color it was...
“Red...” I said unintentionally.
“Huh?” Alexa asked with a confused look.
“Oh! Uhh, it’s nothing.” I responded quickly as I put the sucker in my mouth. It’s been a while since I last spoke to Miss. Red, I think a year maybe? Last time I heard from her was from my mother actually, I think my mother mentioned that she finally got married and moved to New York. I don’t think she’s ever going to visit or come back to this small town again. I don’t blame her. I’m surprised that I decided to stay here where I grew up, but then again. My family and friends are here, so why would I leave?
“Well, what do you think!” Alexa asked me.
“Huh?” I said to her with a clueless tone.
“What do you think of having a baby also!” She voiced out as she pulled out her phone.
“Uh, I don’t know. Maybe.... anyways, do you and Eric plan on getting married soon now?”
“I should be asking you that? When are you and Ren...” She paused at what she was going to say and I noticed that she was looking at the ring on my finger.
“You’re still wearing it.” She responded awkwardly as she put her phone down on her lap. I never told anyone about the ring that Elijah gave me, except for Alexa.
“Yeah....” I responded just as awkwardly as silence took over us. It stayed quiet for a while until we finally reached our destination. I then pulled over to the side of the parking lot.
“I’m sorry I brought it up,” Alexa spoke apologetically.
“No, it’s fine...I haven’t talked about him in a long while.” I responded as I turned off the ignition.
“Do you still love him?” Alexa asked as she unbuckled herself from the seat. I then looked at her unsure of what to say, I always thought about just forgetting about him. I did for a while, however, I never asked myself if I still loved him.
“I...I really don’t know...” I voiced out quietly to her, I felt somewhat guilty though. Here I am with Ren who I love dearly, yet my heart still seems to ache for Eli somehow?
“It’s understandable Luna, it’s hard to get over your first love. But I know you’ll be happy with the one you love in the end, and that person might be Ren. You never know, so just try and live your life the way you want.” She said as she took the lollipop from my mouth, she then put it in her mouth and began to suck on it.
“Thief!” I shouted at her jokingly as I unbuckled my seat belt.
“I’m pregnant, so I can’t be a thief when I’m eating for two.” She responded with a giggle.
We then both stepped out of the car and approached our men that were waiting outside the gates. As we started walking towards them I felt a sudden chill pass through my body, I’m not sure why I did but maybe its because we’re at a place where death is all around us. Alexa seeing my chill reaction she kindly grabbed my hand to comfort me.
“You know, you don’t have to come to the cemetery if you don’t want to. I know it must be hard to face his gravestone after all these years. So I understand if you just wanna go back home.” Alexa explained as we got closer to the gate.
“No...I’m okay. I can’t always hide away from what I’m feeling.” I responded to her as we approached the guys, they both didn’t seem to notice us as they looked like they were deep into there conversation.
“What are you guys talking about over here?” Alexa voiced out as she grabbed Eric’s hand.
“Uhh...nothing, we were just talking about...”
“About your pregnancy!” Ren said nervously as he grabbed my hand suddenly.
“My pregnancy?” Alexa asked them with a questionable tone.
Eric averted his eyes as Ren seemed deep in thought in trying to come up with something. Just what are these guys hiding?
“We were...talking if the kid is gonna be a boy or a girl.” Eric quickly responded as he began to pull Alexa away from us. Ren and I then watched them walk down the path towards the cemetery as we followed behind then.
“Hey, what were you guys really talking about?” I said to Ren as I yanked his hand lightly.
“I tell you when we get back home, alright.” I then nodded back to him in response as we began to walk inside the cemetery. I was starting to get the chills again and it wasn’t because of the cold. Just something about the graveyard gives me goosebumps. I also felt something heavy weighing on my chest for some reason?
“Are you okay? We could always just go home, I know this is probably still difficult for you to face.” He said to me sounding supportive.
“No, it’s fine. I’ll be okay, I just don’t think I’ll ever come here alone.” I voiced out to Ren giving him a weary smile.
As we caught up with Alexa and Eric, we all came to a stop at a gravestone. It was so uncomfortable and weird to be here honestly, I never told anybody what these people did to me. I didn’t want to, it’s something that happened long ago, and I would like that to remain in the past. I looked down to see Danny’s stone plaque on the ground, next to the other stone plaques that belonged to the girls that once bullied me back in high-school. When Danny disappeared, his body was never found. Even after all these years, they just proclaimed him dead after the police gave up the search. We all continued to stand there in silence until Eric pulled out a rose from his jacket and placed it on Danny’s stone.
I understand why Eric visits his grave, they were best friends after all. So I have to respect that I guess, but I could never forgive what Danny almost did to me. I get it, we were all stupid teenagers back then, but that’s still isn’t an excuse for his actions.
I’m just grateful that there are no longer any toxic people in my life now...