Tucking my hands beneath my head, I stare at Miles. Even while he is sleeping, his face has distressed lines a clear sign of his heartache.
The last night was something which I don’t want to experience again. Seeing him so hurt... almost defeated clenches my heart painfully. Even now when I think of it, my throat constricts with emotions, feeling his pain inside me.
However, it was good he had let out his anguish because it would have only done him harm if he had kept everything inside him. He needed that outburst to free his heart from the years of pain which resurfaced after meeting his father.
If there was anyone else other than his father who had hurt him so much, I would have made that person’s life a living hell.
Quietly, getting up from my bed I stretch myself raising my hands above my head to their maximum limit. Then after going through my routine, I go and change Ryan who is already up playing in his crib.
Going to run some errands and Ryan is with me. xoxo
Placing a post-it note of the mirror of the dresser, I walk to Miles and gently peck his lips in a feather-light kiss not to wake him up. I wanted to buy his favorite breakfast sandwich from the family-run cafe where we often go.
I am sure his mood will brighten up after having his favorite breakfast if he is still feeling down.
It is a small drive to the cafe but still, it took us a little longer to reach there as Ryan threw up all over him and I needed to clean him up.
Finally, the smell of freshly baked bread welcomes us as we step inside the cafe. The best thing about this cafe is that they prepare their bread themselves and they have a variety of bread to choose from. Miles has tried each one of them and loved them all.
After ordering the food, I wait for it to get ready as I bounce Ryan in my arms to calm him as he is being a bit cranky because of the crowd. Since it is breakfast time so the cafe is quite crowded.
Soon our food is handed to me with a complimentary extra piece of parmesan bread to Ryan who happily starts chewing it letting crumbs of bread fall all over me.
“Sweet sweet boy.” The wife of the owner gushes over Ryan who gives her an adorable smile while breaking the bread with his chubby hands.
Already a charmer he is.
Saying goodbye to her I walk towards my car but feel like someone is following me. Holding Ryan tightly against me I subtly increase my pace not let them get alert.
The hair of my neck raises when I feel somebody almost behind me. Bracing myself to beat the crap out of them if they tried to pull any stunt on me, abruptly I turn on my heels as I settle Ryan on my hip.
“What the hell!” I frown and whisper-yell at the person whose hand is in mid-air as if they were about to tap my shoulder.
“Miles's father or not, I will crack your skull open if next time you try to sneak up me especially when I have my son with me.” I glare at him while he arches an eyebrow looking amused thinking that I am joking which I am fairly not and he will learn this in a painful way if he ever again sneaked up on me.
Natalie is crazy, however, Mama Natalie is a complete maniac.
"What do you want?" I try to sound a little less harsh. As technically he is my father-in-law and when Miles will forgive him at some point, which I am sure he will because his heart is too soft to hold anger against anyone for long, then he will be a part of our life.
"I saw you, both, and hoped maybe you will allow me to meet him." He looks at Ryan with affection.
I think for a moment but before I can reply my son has decided for himself as he extends his hand with which he has squished the life out of the bread towards Joseph.
He makes a sound and opens his fist letting more crumbs fall on the ground.
"I guess, he wants to meet you." I lightly laugh when he looks fascinated by Joseph's golden specs frame, while Joseph's eyes are fixed on Ryan.
"What is his name?" He asks as he holds Ryan's hand.
"Ryan Mathews Parker."
His eyes snap up to me in disbelief while his eyes start to well up.
"You give him my middle name?"
"Miles gave his father's middle name to his son." I softly smile at him.
Miles was very certain that Ryan's middle name would be Mathews, at that time I didn't understand why. But now it is clear that he wanted his son to have his grandfather's name.
"He is hurt... what you did has really broken his heart." I watch tears spill from his eyes which he wipes with his sleeves after removing his specs. "But he still loves you, just give him some time. The hurt you have caused will take time to heal and you will have to give him that time."
He swallows hard and glances at the ground while nodding his head.
"Want to hold him?" I ask Joseph, wanting to lessen some of his pain. Because I can see he is suffering and I know Miles will not want to see his dad like this.
"Will you?" He raises his eyes looking hopeful.
"Here." I hand Ryan to him.
There is a look of awe on his face when he holds Ryan against his chest. While Ryan seems fine in his arms, however, he keeps on looking at me every now and then to make sure I am there.
I think Joseph's resemblances with Miles made Ryan comfortable with him.
"Please ask your dad to forgive me." Joseph completely breaks down holding Ryan. "Please ask him to forgive his dad."
Tears sting in my eyes as I watch a full-grown man crying profusely as he laments his mistakes.
He murmurs something to Ryan as he rocks him in his arms.
"Thank you." After a few minutes, he gives Ryan back to me while his voice hoarse from crying.
"Please save my number and call me if you bring him here again so I can come and meet him" He caresses Ryan's head.
"I am sorry I am not sure about it." I shake my head apologetically, "Because I will not go behind Miles's back and allow you to build a relation with Ryan when you first need to amend your relation with Miles."
"However, if you want to meet him I will not stop you. You can come and meet Ryan in Miles's presence." I nod my head at him then unlocking my car door I strap Ryan in his car seat.
"Thank you..." He holds my hand between his both hands when I turn to face him, "Thank you so much for giving me a chance to hold my grandson. This gave me hope to win my son back." He smiles looking grateful.
"I hope you don't ruin your chance this time because if you let Miles down again I will not spare you." I stare directly into his eyes letting him know how serious I am.
"I won't" He nods his head with determination.