“It’s okay...you are fine.” I lightly rock her as she starts hyperventilating, “I love you.” I gently whisper in her ear while rubbing her back while trying to calm her down as she clings to me tightly.
Whenever she cries, I have figured she calms down when I just hold her... Words don't comfort her much, however, just being held helps her a lot.
This is what I didn’t want to happen. I never want her to take any stress, but somehow it always results in the opposite.
Anything which is related to what she had experienced, revives her old fears and memories. She will not admit it, but I know such things deeply affects her. And I never want her to relive that pain... Hell, I don’t want her to experience any pain.
The only reason why I rush to help Dina, even though I was not sure how much truth is in that, because I didn’t want anyone else to go through what Abigail had gone through. I would have done the same thing if there was anyone other than Dina. I have seen how much it is difficult to deal with such things and if there is some way I can help someone I will not back down.
I promised myself when we found Abigail, that if I ever find any someone in such a situation I will try to help them. Because I wasn't able to completely save Abigail from that terrifying experience, so I will do my part in trying to save others.
However, somewhere amid this, I forgot that some people take advantage of your goodness. They consider your goodness as your stupidity.
Honestly, when I got Dina's call I didn’t think clearly and reacted the way which seemed right to me at that moment. I am sure anyone in my place would have behaved the way I did. You can never prepare your mind how it should work in such situations, you just act and do what you think is the best.
At that time there were only two things in my mind. First to make sure Abigail shouldn’t know about any of this because I was worried, as her being pregnant, all this would affect her more than it normally would do. Because I want to keep her away from all those things that might stir her dark memories. And secondly, to reach Dina’s apartment in time to help her in any way I can.
There was a lot going on in my mind and I could have never imagined that anyone can be so sick to come up with something like this to trick someone. Even though everything looked so convincing, but now I know it was all her plan to create a misunderstanding between me and Abigail.
She doesn’t know she committed the biggest mistake of her life. I may have changed, but I am still that Nathan Knight who doesn’t forgive anyone who messes with him. And here she tried to ruin something which is the most precious to me in this world, my and Abigail’s relationship. She hurt Abigail by trying to portray something which is impossible... Because not even in my dreams, I would ever cheat on Abigail. This history will never repeat again.
“Abigail.” I lift her head and wipe her tears, “Listen to me... please let’s just sit and talk.”
“No, Nathan, I don’t want to talk about anything right now.” She shakes her head and steps away from me, nearly pushing me, “I just need to be with myself, I need to be alone.” She wipes the remaining of her tears.
“Abigail, we can sort this out.” I am feeling frustrated, at the same time I am hurt, just like she is.
“I don’t want to sort this out, right now!” She glares, “I just don’t want to talk to you, and you can’t force me to.”
“I know you are hurt and even I am not happy.” I thrust my fingers in my hair, slightly pulling them in irritation, “We both have said each other things, which we should not have. But I want you to understand my situation also.”
At this moment, we both are angry at each other, things should not have taken this turn because we could have easily sorted this out. We both are wrong, however, we can’t let this affect our relationship.
When I am angry I tend to say things which I don’t even mean, and don’t know how much it can hurt someone, which later I realize that I shouldn’t have said. After sometime when I calm down, I rethink whatever had happened and realize that my anger might be right, however, the things which I said in my anger were wrong.
Even Abigail is no different, she doesn’t think much before reacting when she is angry. She doesn’t say much but her behavior is hurtful. Every time whenever we have a fight she completely shuts me out, which hurts me a lot. Although our fight hardly lasts for long, still it doesn’t mean her behavior doesn’t hurt me.
She says we should talk through our differences and sort them out. But every time when we have any differences, I have to make her talk. She never initiates any talk.
I try my best to understand her... understand her situation, but sometimes when she is angry she never considers my perception.
Just like now, she thinks that all I am worried about her trust in me, but she didn’t think what might be the reason behind it.
For me, her trust means everything. I have lost her trust once and I don’t think I can ever live if I found that she doesn’t trust me anymore.
My biggest fear is to lose her trust because losing her trust means, losing her. And I will never do anything which will make me lose her again.
“Abigail... please, let’s just talk and end this matter.” Closing my eyes, I sigh.
However, the response which I get from her is the sound of the closing of the door which makes me open my eyes, only to find myself standing alone in the living room.