Because this is exactly how I am feeling right now. My eyes say it is nothing but a dream... a beautiful dream. However, the arms enveloping me prove that my reality is beautiful than any of my dreams.
My lips part in awe, feeling completely enthralled while I am too stunned to utter a single word... as I wordlessly admire at the sight before me.
“Are you planning to stand here all night or what?” Nathan’s amused voice forces me to blink.
“Am I dreaming, Nathan?” I whisper in awe, as tilting my head to the side, I look at Nathan. “I can’t believe my own eyes, you did this for me?”
“When you, brighten my every day with your beautiful smile this is the least I can do for you.” He kisses the side of my mouth which is curving into a smile.
Stepping away from him, I slowly spin while glancing at our bedroom’s roof which is now completely transformed along with our entire bedroom.
“Oh, so, this is why he was not letting me go beyond our living room,” I quietly speak to myself as my lips stretch in a wide smile.
The entire ceiling is replicating a night sky which is glittering with thousands of stars, looking nothing but magical.
I crane my neck while standing in the middle of the room, not wavering my eyes from the ceiling, mesmerized by the view of my own personal galaxy which is decorated by numerous twinkling stars.
I clearly remember a stupid childhood wish of mine to have my own galaxy, I wanted to sleep under the stars every night because I was obsessed with stargazing. But as I grew up I realize how stupid it was to wish for something like this which is impossible because you can’t own a galaxy, right?
But, I was so wrong, if the person whom you love is anything like Nathan, then everything is possible. Even as crazy it seems but you can even have your own sky which is meant to be just for you.
Now, I can sleep under the stars whenever I want even in the middle of the day.
Tearing my gaze away, I turn to look at Nathan who is softly smiling at me, silently allowing me to enjoy this moment.
This whole thing might be unreal, but for me, nothing could be more real than this.
Suddenly, the real sky lost its charm as that sky only looks beautiful because of stars. However, my sky not only adorns stars but it is also shining with the love of my husband which can illuminate any dark path of my life.
Walking back to him, I throw my arms around his neck hugging him closely, expressing my gratitude through my gesture. Because I know even if I try words will fail to express my feelings.
“You have disappointed me, Cupcake.” He pretends to make a sad face, “I thought you are going to kiss me under the stars, here what I got? Just a plain hug. That’s not fair.”
Locking my gaze with his, I smile letting him read in my eyes, how much he means to me... how much I am grateful for everything which he has done for me. Then holding his face, I plant my lips on his as a small blissful sigh leaves my lips while my heart is overwhelming with immense love.
He momentarily gets stunned from my action but crossing his arms on the small of my back he kisses me back reciprocating the love which I am pouring into this kiss.
“This is why you used to turn down my request when I used to ask you to take me to the beach house?” I play with his fingers while gazing at my stars, resting my head on his chest as we are cuddling on the bed.
He always used to divert the topic whenever I wanted to come here. Mostly, when the workload is low, we spend our weekends here away from everything. But for the past, two months we didn’t visit even once which I used to find really weird. But didn’t think much about it, as a lot was going on in our lives.
“Yes, I wanted to do something for you... something special which no one has ever done for you. I wanted to make it up to you, for missing your birthday. So with Natalie’s help, I planned all this.” There is a hint of pride in his tone, which says he is happy with the outcome of everything.
“You know, it is still hard to believe that you both didn’t kill each other and managed to keep this a secret between you two.” I laugh, “Why do I feel arch enemies have turned into lifelong besties?” I tease him.
He scoffs and mutters something under his breath which is almost inaudible.
Before I can ask what he has said, my eyes catch something forcing me to sit up to get a closer look.
I hear Nathan speaking to me but my attention is fixed on something else... something which is stirring deep emotions inside my heart.
“Are you listening to me?” Nathan sits up and frowns at me, but ignoring him I get down from the bed and walk towards the corner of the room.
There is a candid picture of us on the wall in front of me, from Ryan’s birthday party, where I am holding Noel and my hair his tangled in his hands while Nathan is laughing looking at us with adoration. You can practically see the happiness on our faces.
Then lifting my face, I glance exactly above the picture.
“What happened? What are you looking at?” He asks while standing beside me.
“What is...” He drops his question even before completing it when he follows my gaze.
I can sense his whole body goes rigid beside mine when even he notices what I am seeing as realization drawn to him.
Small angel wings with a golden halo is painted on the corner of the ceiling blending perfectly among the stars, yet, standing apart from them. Suddenly, these wings seem brighter than all the twinkling which is surrounding it.
“I...” Nathan shakes his head unable to say anything, “Why Natalie have done this? Why there was a need to do this...” His voice slightly cracks, as I hear him taking a ragged breath.
Natalie is not someone who expresses a lot with her words, well, only when it comes to showing love or concern. However, she is one of the most caring person whom I know. When she loves someone she loves deeply and immensely.
This gesture of her means so much to me, this is a way of her showing her love to my lost baby. Also a silent way of telling me, that even though he is not with us, but he will always be a part of our family.
A beautiful way of honoring my baby, by giving him a place in our sky.
“Our angel baby,” I whisper with a tear-filled smile, “Shining brightly among the stars, watching over his family. Not gone, still with us...” Slipping my hand in his, I turn to face him giving him a bittersweet smile.
“Our child...” He whispers as his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows thickly, “Our child...” He repeats again while raising his hand towards the wings, his fingers stretching in a fail attempt to feel him.
He only manages to says these two words, but his voice is filled with so much love and adoration, still, there is immense pain wrapped around these words.
My heart twists painfully experiencing the same pain and longing to hold my child in my arms, yet somewhere Nathan’s pain seems much more than mine. Nathan was never able to connect with him, in any way. Although I was not aware of him, still he was living in me even it was just for a few weeks.
Swallowing back my own emotions, I silently wipe a lone tear that rolls down from his eye when he closes his eyes while gripping my hand tightly in his.
Numerous times, I have witnessed sadness in his eyes when we have talked about our baby. However, this is the first time, he has openly let out his emotions in front of me grieving our lost part.
Hiding his face in my shoulder, Nathan winds his arm around me while silently letting out the emotions which he has buried inside his chest for so long.
Whereas, even with tears in my eyes, my heart is at peace knowing my child is away from every kind of pain and harm. No matter wherever he is, our love will reach to him, letting him know he will always be cherished just like his siblings.
The breaths which he had taken inside me, might be few, but they have bonded our breaths in an eternal bond.
He will always live inside my heart, where I will nurture him with love.