For the past week, since I have talked to Nathan, my mind keeps on thinking about my dad. Honestly, many times I have gathered the courage to call him, but then I couldn’t.
I don’t know how to talk to him.
For the hundredth time, my thumb hovers over his name as I contemplate whether to call him or not.
Finally, taking a deep breath I click on his name and press the phone against my ear as I wait for him to answer the phone.
I keep on waiting, but he doesn’t answer the phone.
“Still, I am waiting, dad... waiting for you.” I chuckle once with no humor as I disconnect the call.
However, I left him a message in which I have mentioned that I want to meet him.
Hopefully, he will respond back to my message.
He is my father and I can’t change that, neither I can change what he did. But I want to finally free myself from his burden of my past. I want to move on in my life and without the baggage of my memories. And for that, I am ready to make peace with him.
I don’t know how things will turn out to be, but what I know I will no longer carry this feeling of resentment against him in my heart whenever I am going to think about him.
I came back home from the office and head straight to Noel’s nursery as this is where I usually find Abigail. But I find it empty, so I turn in the direction of our bedroom.
Walking inside the room, I watch Noel sleeping in the middle of the bed with pillows placed all around him. However, Abigail is nowhere in sight. Before I can call her I hear her throwing up.
I rushed into the bathroom and hold her hair as she continues to heave into the toilet bowl. When she is done, she flushes the toilet.
I help her stand up from the floor, and take her to the sink, she brushes her teeth and then splashes cold water on her face.
“Nathan.” She squeaks when I lift her and walk back towards the bed.
“What have I asked you?” I try to keep my anger away from my tone.
“I should call you instantly if I am not feeling well,” she mumbles looking down.
“So, why didn’t you call me?” I sigh while my anger fading away looking at her pouting face.
“I was feeling well.” She whines looking adorably cute with her pout, and just like that all my anger diminishes, “But then I wanted to eat cake because I was missing cake. I swear, I just had a small bite.” She quickly adds as her eyes widen when she notices my frown.
I have been warning her not to eat cake, but she was persistent.
“I didn’t even manage to take another bite when I started feeling sick and the next thing I was puking my guts out.” She slumps back on the bed with a tired sigh.
I really feel bad for her as she loves cake so much, but when she is pregnant she just can’t digest cake at all. Even the smell of the cake makes her nauseous.
“I am sorry...” I slide beside her and wrap my arms around her.
“For what?” She lightly laughs, “For knocking me up? Do I have to tell you that it takes two to tango?”
I press my lips to her temple and sigh.
“I hate watching you unwell.” I press another kiss to her shoulder.
“Some more months then everything will be back to normal.” She smiles looking at me, “We will be a family of four.”
Her words bring a smile on my face as the image of her holding our newborn flashes before my eyes.
“Everything will be fine, Nathan.” She cradles my jaw and whispers softly, “Don’t worry too much.”
She presses her lips to mine and I feel, worry leaving my body as my focus shifts to the softness of her lips.
“I love you.” She smiles shyly as pink tinted her cheeks.
“I love you, too, cutie pie.” Stealing a quick kiss, I smile at her as she rolls her eyes hearing this nickname.
“Oh, I love you as well.” I laugh as I feel the baby kick under my palm.
“What about my Noey?” She narrows her eyes at me playfully.
“I love my Potato too.” I fake glare at her, “Don’t try to turn my boys against me.” I flick her nose as she starts laughing loudly and after a moment even I start to laugh with her as her laugh is contagious.
However, our laugh seizes when an angry crying resonates through the room as we have woken up the cranky Knight from his sleep.
After calling mom to ask her how to make ginger tea, as it helps with nausea, I prepare ginger tea for Abigail.
“Drink this it will help you with nausea.” I hand her the cup while her eyebrows raise in surprise as she looks between the cup and me.
“You made this?” She asks as she places the plate of crackers aside.
“Yeah, I called mom and followed her instructions.” I shrug and quickly pick up Noel before he can bang his head into the wall.
“Jeez, what’s gotten into him?” I frown as I look at my son who is not looking happy. Maybe he wanted to bang his head against the wall and I ruined his fun.
“I didn’t let him chew my hair, since then he is being cranky.” Abigail laughs when Noel wails and hides his face in my chest.
“It’s okay, Potato.” I rub his back as he starts banging his head against my chest as he continues to cry sounding irritated. “There are a lot of yummy things which you can eat, but mama’s hair is not one of them.”
“Neither my shirt.” I glance down at him and shake my head when he starts chewing the front of my shirt while fisting my shirt in his hand.
My attention turns to Abigail as I watch her taking a sip of ginger tea while I silently pray that she likes it.
“This is going to be my favorite drink from now.” Abigail declares as she takes another sip, “You better prepare this for me every hour.” She orders as she playfully narrows her eyes at me.
“Whatever you say, Mrs.Knight.” I wink at her while feeling damn proud of myself that I can do something to help her with her nausea.