XXXVIII. Lose Interest in Me
When I saw Jax hidden behind a bush for a smoke, my blood boiled even more. I turned in the other direction.
The cigarette hangs from his lips. He grabbed my wrist, “I thought we’re even? I even saved your life.”
I turned my head, and my hair scattered all over my face.
Hesitantly, Jax released my arm and took out the cigarette. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m fine. Thank you.” He caught me in a bad time—a bad mood.
“I can tell you’re not in the mood to talk.”
I forced out a smile, “Thank you for understanding.” I turned around.
“I would let you go, but-” he grabbed my wrist again. “I am not the understanding type. Let’s go play.” He threw the cigarette down, stepped on it, and buried it in the dirt while dragging me along.
“What do you want with me? I need to go to class.”
“Wow. You’re even Grincher then usual.” He stepped in front of me and smiled, “Let me make it up to you.”
“Make what up?”
“For what I did at the festival.” He’s talking about the incident where he pretended not to know me.
“The twenty and being my lifesaver is enough. What more can I ask for?”
Jax stepped closer to me, “You can ask for as much as you want.” I can feel his muscles from behind his white t-shirt. His grin only widens.
“Hey! You two!” Someone shouted.
“Run!” Jax screamed.
He dragged me towards the parking lot. Why is he telling me to run? I have an excused pass. He’s the only one who should be running.
The longer we ran, the more excessive my wheezing became. My lungs burned, and my throat begged for water.
Jax looked at me, “You’re really out of shape!”
“Come back here!” Whoever was chasing us screamed.
“Fuck,” Jax muttered. Before I could have a chance to rebuttal, he flung me over his shoulder and continued running.
I want to scream at him to put me down, to leave me behind.
Once we reached the parking lot, Jax leaped onto his motorcycle.
“Help me!” I shouted towards the teacher, who was taking his sweet time getting down the stairs. I reached for him, but Jax grabbed me.
He threw me onto his lap, “Don’t worry. I got you.”
His hands twisted the handles, and he raced out of the parking lot. I had no choice but to shut my eyes, pray for the best, and clung onto the insane guy. I’m certain this is some form of kidnapping.
“Alright. We’re here.” That was quick.
I open my eyes to see a familiar neighborhood. We’re two blocks away from school. He made me almost shit my pants just to take me two blocks away.
Jax looks down and smiles, “Thank goodness we acted fast, or else we would’ve gotten caught.”
I hop off of his lap, ”You would’ve gotten caught.” I dug into my pants and shoved the pass into his face. ”I would’ve been perfectly fine.”
Jax gasps, “You would leave me behind just like that?”
If I can leave my family behind to burn in the dust. Who says I won’t do it to a guy I may or may not be friends with. “Yes. And I thank you for all your sacrifices.”
Jax rested his head against the front of the motorcycle, “This is better.”
“This. Your less pissed off face. I mean, you always have it on, but you look less pissed off now.” He’s talking about my resting bitch face. Unlike everyone else, I was told that I kept my smiles at the bare minimum.
I don’t understand him, Jax Rocco. Why does he keep approaching me?
Jax smiles and scoots forward. “Hop on. I’ll take you somewhere fun.” That sounds like a line I would hear on a rom-com.
I tighten my grip on my backpack, “I think you should stop.”
“Stop whatever this is that you’re doing. I’m not interested in being your plaything.”
His smile drops, “That’s what you think? That I’m playing with you?”
“What else could it be?”
Jax loosened his grip on the handles and looked away momentarily. His jaw clenches firmly, “After all the time we spent together. It seems like your opinion about me didn’t budge one bit.”
“Jax, do you really expect me to put my full trust in a guy with one of the worst reputations in school?” We talked a few times, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to pretend that I know him like no one else.
He showed interest in me.
Am I supposed to fall on my knees for him?
“I thought you didn’t believe in reputations.”
“I’m going to be upfront.”
Jax chuckles, “You can be more direct than you already are?”
“I’m human, a normal girl. Other people may love it, but I can’t stand the limelight.”
“What are you saying?”
"Lose interest in me.”
“And if I can’t?”
My lips thinned, in an almost frowning appearance. “What about what I feel? Are you going to act so selfish to the point that my feelings don’t matter?”
“I don’t understand why you’re pushing me away,” Jax burst out. “You clearly like me.”
Even in the autumn wind, my face grew hot. The blood inside my body boils to a temperature that’s much too dangerous. He knows. “So what if I like you?” I shouted.
“I like you. You like me. Our feelings are mutual, so why are you asking me to stay away from you? It doesn’t make sense!” I cannot believe I’m arguing with Jax Rocco. I cannot believe he admitted me like me.
“I told you I hate being in the spotlight! You have too much spotlight around you.”
“Hate being in the spotlight?” Jax got off of the motorcycle. “Brody Thompson.”
“He’s my older brother. I have no choice.”
“She’s been my best friend since childhood.”
“The childhood thing rolled over your head, didn’t it?”
Jax scoffed, “I bet if you had the chance, you would’ve jumped that dick.”
My fingers curled into fists, “I assume this is the first time you got rejected, didn’t you, you fucking-” I rarely cursed, "dickshit.”
Jax’s mouth gap opens.
“You know about my feelings, but it doesn’t grant you the right to use it against me.” I bit against my inner cheeks. “I thought you were better than that.”
Jax reaches for me, “Jess. I’m sor-”
I held both hands in the air and took a step back, “I believe we’re done here. Don’t approach me anymore.” I turned my shoes and made my way back towards the school.
Jax rushed after me and stood in my way. “I’m sorry. I was just angry, and I didn’t mean to say it that way.”
“You know-” I look at him, “They say a person’s true personality show during the peak of their emotions.”
“I didn’t mean it.”
I swallowed, “Then, let’s say we get together, and next time I made you angry. Are you going to hurt me like you just did?” I look away from him. I have to because if I don’t, I may get sucked in. “Why do you like me, anyway?”
Jax shrugs, “What if I told you. I just do.”
“Then, what do you want to do with me?”
“What do you want to do with whatever it is between us?”
“I...I don’t know.”
“Do you intend to keep visiting me at night? To keep messaging me. To keep bothering me. To keep ignoring me when someone we know enters the room? Do you want me to stay single for you, for whatever it is between us forever? Or at least until you get bored of me?”
“That’s not what I want!”
“Then what do you want from me?!”
“I-I don’t know!” He rushes his hands through his hair. “I don’t understand why you’re forcing a label between us. Aren’t things going great so far? Why change it?”
“So, let me get this straight.” Silence. “You don’t want to be together with me, but you don’t want to let me go?” I took a step towards him. “Don’t bite more than you can chew Rocco, or you’ll end up choking.”