Forgiveness In Love
“I think you are driving below the speed limit” his voice didn’t sound doubtful at all.
“Shut up” I hissed, my glare directing at his direction before going back to the road. I wasn’t in the state to deal with him.
My body was trembling with apprehension and unease. The feeling was so unsettling that I couldn’t help but get angry and snap.
I wasn’t excited at all.
If I let my body decide on what to do, then I would have stopped the car right here and just sit still.
But sometimes, even if you aren’t forced, you still had to do some things despite feeling like you’d rather be anywhere else or do anything else.
And I was currently facing this kind of dilemma.
I glanced at Pierce. He had leaned back against the seat, getting more comfortable and deciding to not respond. That’s the thing about him. He knows when to push me and when to not. He never goes too far.
I sighed. I didn’t mean to snap at him but at the moment, I wasn’t capable of apologizing. I knew that if I open my mouth now, nothing but harsh words would flow.
Just the thought of where I was driving to, made me want to crash the car so I wouldn’t have to go. It felt like every force in the universe was pulling me back but I was still stubbornly striding forward.
More than eighteen years had passed since I last saw her face. And yet, the thought of seeing her again wasn’t enchanting. I didn’t feel the blind-hope or anxiousness the twelve years old I felt while sitting by the doorsteps waiting for her to come and wish me ‘happy birthday.’
No, there was no naïve hopes or expectations. Just a need for finding closure. An epiphany.
So, here I was, parking my car in front of the house whose address was given to me by her.
A part of me wished that she had given me the wrong address. That, when I knocked, a man would open the door and tell me ‘no Amelia lived here.’
But, a smaller part wished, she didn’t.
“Let’s go, Ivy” coaxed Pierce, his hand gently pushing me, telling me to get off the car.
The weight above me suddenly felt ten times heavier. “I don’t want to, Pierce. I don’t think I can do this” I exhaled, my shoulders slumping.
His fingers tilted my head to the side, forcing me to look at him. “We didn’t come this far only to return back, Ivy, And, I am here with you. Just as I promised I would be. You can do this” his voice was a gentle husk, compelling me to listen.
I took a deep breath and let it out. “Okay. But, if something goes wrong, I am blaming it on you” I grumbled, pushing the door open.
“Just try to reign in your temper or at least not let it control you” he advised, getting out.
I scoffed. “Like its something I can control.”
“But, you can always try.”
I shook my head and we both walked towards the one-story house ahead. As we reached the wooden door, I looked at Pierce. He gave me a reassuring smile and I turned to the door, knocking before I could change my mind.
Then, we both waited.
There was a shuffling sound from the other side before the door finally opened.
My eyes met a set of hazel ones. I’ve seen them before. The only difference was that the ones I saw in the mirror looked less warm then the ones in front of me.
A blinding smile split across her face and I felt a sense of bitterness rise inside me. Her smile no longer offered that old comfort to me.
“Gianna” she breathed, her eyes turning teary.
My chest clenched painfully and I felt my gaze hardening. She was the only one who called me using that name. I used to love it but now…
“It’s Ivy” somehow my voice grew colder.
Her smile faltered but it didn’t disappear. I felt Pierce’s hand wrap around my waist and give it a squeeze. I knew what he was trying to convey but I didn’t feel like listening.
The slight movement caused her hazel orbs to turn towards Pierce. And somehow, her smile widened.
“Oh my, Who are you dear?” her tone was unusually friendly. It didn’t match the picture of her I had in my head.
“Pierce, ma’am. I am a friend of Ivy” his voice was as welcoming as hers. I felt a slight nudge of irritation.
“Come inside, both of you. Kate cooked dinner. I am sure you both will love it.”
A scoff escaped my throat before I could stop it. She thought I would enjoy a dinner cooked by her beloved Katelyn.
My hostility didn’t go unnoticed. Her aura grew less bright and her posture slumped.
She led us to the drawing-room that was connected to the kitchen. A tuft of golden locks was moving around and a delicious aroma filled the air.
“Kate” at the sound of her name, the woman turned. I saw another face that I haven’t seen for a long time.
She looked older than I remembered. Her hair was longer and her black eyes showed anxiousness.
I clenched my jaw as the memory of the first time I saw her flashed in my mind.
The first time I saw her, she was sitting on a tall stool. I had just returned from school and my mother introduced her as a so-called friend.
Funny how relationships change.
“Ivy!” she squealed, trying to look like she wasn’t nervous but failing miserably, “God, you look so grown-up.”
My chin tilted up as a venomous smile settled on my face. “That’s what happens when you look at a person after nineteen years.”
Her anxious smile dropped and she visibly flinched.
The pressure on my waist tightened but I ignored it. Too many old memories were resurfacing and it wasn’t possible to control myself when I, too, felt absolutely ungrounded.
The sound of a throat-clearing directed my attention away.
“Why don’t you sit down Gi-Ivy. We can talk for a while until dinner is cooked” she motioned at the couch and we both sat down.
She took a seat ahead of me.
The air was thick with tension and the silence was deafening. I didn’t speak because I didn’t want to and she didn’t speak because it looked like she had no idea of what to say.
“So, uh… how is your life going? Are you finally a doctor like you hoped you would become?” she started, sounding bright. It made my chest hurt. This woman, the woman who gave birth to me, doesn’t even know what I do for a living.
“I am the head editor of the magazine ‘Bold’. And, as for becoming a doctor, that fantasy of mine disappeared the day you did. I didn’t want to become anything like you, Amelia” my tone was colder than ice and not taunting like I hoped it would be.
She looked down to hide the flash of hurt in her eyes. But, I didn’t feel any regret. No, I felt a sick sense of satisfaction to know that I could return at least a bit of favor she had given me.
“Ivy” Pierce whispered, a tone calm but I could detect the warning in them. He was telling me to no overstep the boundary. A boundary I couldn’t see.
But, weirdly, my glower did lighten at his tone. The room grew silent again as I stared at Amelia, who stared at the floor, not looking up.
After a while, gaining back her composure, she looked up with another smile but this one wasn’t genuine. And neither was it steady.
“Pierce, right? So, how long have you both been dating?” she asked, her tone shaky and hesitant but the curiosity present.
“We are not dating ma’am. We’re just friends” he replied with a polite smile.
Her eyes looked disbelieving and that annoyed me. Did she think that Pierce was dishonest?
“Oh…okay then. And please, call me Amelia” her bright smile returned to her face again. I turned away.
She looked more friendly towards Pierce than she did to me.
“Dinner is ready” stated a bell-like voice from the kitchen.
I sighed as we all got up.
It looked like nothing was coming out of this dinner. I just wanted to return to my home.