Showing You Love

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Show Me Love

I could feel the stinging sensation in my eyes increase. I could feel the previous determination in me as it slowly faded away.

I didn’t know how long I’ve been standing on the balcony, just calling out his name again and again like a mantra. But, he did not respond. With every call falling into deaf ears, I could feel myself losing a bit of hope that remained in me.

Maybe I should just accept it. That he won’t return. Not even once. Maybe I should accept that he won’t even say goodbye. That he didn’t think I was worthy of it.

My shoulders sagged as I felt the prickling sensation growing stronger. “Pierce, please…” my voice cracked.

All the anger and determination that I had left my body like a breeze. The amount of force with which it left had me gasping for air. I turned around and leaned my back against the reeling, tilting my head back. My eyes shut closed on their own accord. A tear slipped out of my closed eyelids.

It wasn’t fair.

He dared to cut me open, forced me to love again only to just leave. He said that he cared. That he’d help me to stop hurting. Then, why was he causing me pain?

And the worst part of it wasn’t that he left. It was that he left without an explanation, without any last words. The worst part of it all was that the last memory I would have of him would leave a bitter aftertaste. It would be filled with anger and rage. That the only time he had ever gotten angry with me was also the last time I would see him.

“Ivy” a gentle voice called out softly. My eyes shot open at the sound. It sent a jolt of shock throughout me and an untamed hope bloomed inside me.

As if I had been shot, I stood up straight, my eyes scanning for the person to whom that comforting voice belonged to.

The sight of him brought me to my knees. I didn’t even realize the amount of power he held over me. It wasn’t right for only one look at him to bring back the peace that left along with him. It wasn’t right for someone to hold that much power over somebody.

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that somebody could hold such power over you that only one action committed by them could break you like delicate glass.

It wasn’t fair but that’s the thing about love. It compels you to give them that power. No matter who you love, you always hand them that power. Maybe that’s why love can hurt so much. Because you give them that power without even wanting to. And sometimes, they abuse that power.

When I realized that, I tried to shield myself. To stop myself from handing over that power someone. Someone who would never appreciate that power. But, then he came around and I gave him the power without even realizing what I was doing.

I didn’t want him to abuse that power. I didn’t want him to hurt me.

“Please, come inside” he urged, his voice holding a strange kind of hesitancy. Behind him, his wings laid limp, those pure white feathers kissing the floor. They weren’t strong and steady and standing majestically behind his back as always.

Slowly, I walked inside my room. He stood by the bed. I walked closer until I was only an armlength away. I didn’t like the space that was still between us but I stayed where I was.

We needed to close the emotional gap between us first.

“Why did you call me?” he asked, his voice weak like he was tired or was holding back.

“Why did you leave?” my sound was just a mere whisper. I didn’t want to whisper. I wanted to yell. I wanted to scream.

“My work here is done, Ivy. I kept returning to help you. I don’t have any reason to keep returning now” the words were told with so much gentleness, I didn’t know how they could hit me so hard.

But, what about me? Wasn’t I enough of a reason for you to keep coming back?

I nodded. I wanted the choking pain his words left to just end. I wanted to cut out my chest. Maybe that would stop it from hurting.

“If that’s all you wanted to ask…” he trailed off. I knew that he asking if he could leave. It was funny how the past three months, he was the thing that kept forcing a smile to my face and now it was quite the opposite.

Did he even realize how desperately I wanted to keep him by my side?

“Why are you angry at me, Pierce? Did I do something wrong?” I cried, unable to hold back. I could feel the cracks in my composure.

He shook his head, smiling at me. The smile was fake. It was forced. It was unlike him. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Ivy.”

“Then why did you leave like that?” I growled, stepping forward.

He shrugged. “I did something wrong.”

“I need something clearer, Pierce. I need a proper explanation.” I could feel the desperation rain down my eyes as tears. This was the first time he saw my tears falling because of him. This was the only time my tears were falling because of him.

I didn’t want to remember him as someone who left me broken. I wanted to remember him as something good. As someone who brought light to my life when I was losing the fight with the darkness inside my life.

He smiled but it didn’t hold the calming beauty it always held. No, it was colored with sadness. “I forgot that I am the Cupid.”

I pulled at the white robe of his. The tears trailed down my cheeks, burning like acid. “That doesn’t explain shit, Pierce.”

“Then, what do you want me to say, Ivy?” he asked, his voice strained as if it pained him to talk.

“I want you to say why the fuck you are hurting me when you promised to help me heal? I want you to tell me why are we doing this? What caused this? What brought us here? You can’t just leave me with empty blanks hoping that I would be able to fill them. You know me, Pierce. You know that I can’t” my voice cracked and my grip on his rope tightened.

“You don’t understand, Ivy” he strained, his carefully designed composure breaking like mine.

“Then make me understand” I begged.

His hands gripped my cold ones that were still tugging at his robe. They warmed mine instantly.

“I can’t just stay by your side when I know that you are waiting for you someone else. I can’t hold your hand while you wished for holding the ones of your destined. I can’t stay by you all the while knowing that your heart desired for someone else. I can’t only be with you and then leave when he comes around. I am not that strong, Ivy” his voice held the same desperation mine did.

I felt the steady flow dripping down my eyes increase. The happiness I felt at his words only made me combust more. “What if I told you that I want you to be my destined?”

He shook his head. “If it was possible, Ivy, you would have been holding my heart from the start. But it’s not. I fate two people that are perfect for each other. But, I can’t fate myself. I don’t hold that power. I can never be the destined of anyone. That’s the price a God Of Love has pay.”

I nodded. “Then, I don’t need a destined. I am fine with not having one.”

“But, you desire one, Ivy.”

“No, I don’t. I want you. Can’t you see? I don’t act like this with anyone but you. I don’t lose my control for anyone but you. I don’t lean into someone’s arms as I do into yours. You said you can read the souls of a person. Then, how come you can’t read mine?

“I don’t want to be with someone destined to me. I want to be with someone I love, Pierce. And I love you” I cried out, wishing desperately that he would understand. The grip I had on his robe tightened and I stared into his eyes, trying to convey everything I felt. Trying to make him understand.

His whole body stilled at my words. He stared into my eyes, trying to find any signs of dishonesty. He gazed into me, as he let the words sink in.

And when they finally did, his eyes started shining like diamonds. The tear droplets in them made me think that the deep blue ocean. I felt like I was drowning in its depth.

The hold he had on my hands disappeared. Instead, I felt his hands softly trailing down my sides till they reached my waist. He gripped it tight and pulled me close. Closer than I already was.

Then, ever so slowly, he leaned down, his soft lips touching mine.

The kiss was perfect. It didn’t matter that both of us were crying. It didn’t matter that we could taste each other’s tears through the kiss. It didn’t matter that I was sobbing.

The kiss was healing. The soft touch brushed over all the cracks we created on each other. It cooled the burns that those misunderstandings caused. It healed all our wounds.

The kiss was magical. No, it didn’t set fireworks inside my body. No, it caused electric tingles to spread throughout my body, making me warm. It didn’t feel like an adrenaline rush. It was calming. It was filled with love.

When our breathing got shallower, his lips left mine and his face leaned forward. Our foreheads touched. His hands moved away from my waist and to my face. Those warm palms cupped my cheeks.

The air we breathed out tangled together and for a while, our breathing was the only sound that could be heard in the room.

“Are you sure, Ivy?” he then asked, his voice a soft whisper as if he was scared to break the serene bubble surrounding us.

I nodded. I couldn’t be any more sure.

“A relationship with me won’t be like one with a mortal. It won’t be easy” he warned.

“Then, we will go slow. We can do it, Pierce” I assured, my voice shaky.

He nodded against me. “We can do it” he repeated. Then, he laughed happiness bleeding through it. It was like him. Warm and loving. Peaceful and calming.

We stood in each other’s embrace as I laughed along with him.

“I love you too, Ivy” he murmured.

And this time it was me who pulled his lips to mine.

We would be okay.

I knew it.


Hey Guys,
We've come to the end of this book. I am going to post the epilogue tomorrow. So, stay tuned for that.
Anyway, I know I should have brought this up sooner but I am sorry that I didn't. To everyone one of you who is reading this book, I pray for your safety. Please take care of yourselves guys. I know it's a difficult time but it will get better eventually.
Until then guys, please follow all the safety measures. Take care of yourselves and the ones you hold dear. I know it's an extremely stressful time. And, I hope with all my heart that my book had been able to distract you and keep you happy, even if it's for a little while. I love you guys. Please, please take care of yourself.
With lots of love,
Sue.
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