Arguments Against Love
When I finally went home, my anger didn’t lose its burning spark. No, as time past on, I thought more about the way Kiara taunted me. And that was causing my anger to get more intense.
After freshening up and changing into more comfortable clothes, I decided to call Cupid and let him know about my plans.
Just as he told me to do, I called out his name, sounding loud and confident.
After a while, I realized that there was no sign of his arrival.
So, after waiting for a few minutes, I called out his name again. There was still no response.
I sat there on my bed and started feeling stupid as well as embarrassed.
Did I imagine that day? Was all of it just the product of my creativity? Had I really been so stupid to imagine a certain God called Cupid?
But I didn’t get to dwell on my stupidity for too long as a golden glow spread across my room, distracting me. The light started getting very bright, forcing me to shut my eyes close.
When I opened them again, the glow started fading and the sight of bare-chested, glowing God came into my view.
I stared at him, trying to assure myself of his existence and check if there was any part of him that looked different. But, he looked exactly the same.
Large, beautiful white wings furled behind his back, white trousers and robe exposing his glowing skin, hair the color of sunshine and eyes that looked like the deep blue ocean.
“Calling my name once is enough, Ivy” his voice was soothing and gentle, but I still felt a tint of annoyance in them.
“It’s not my fault that you are so slow. I had been waiting for ten minutes” I huffed, my voice delivering my annoyance clearly and not hiding any irritation as he did.
Surprisingly, he didn’t get angry or annoyed at my rudeness. Instead, a small laugh escaped his throat and he closed his eyes, shaking his head.
I looked at him, dumbstruck. He was always so calm. Too calm. I was being rude at him and he was laughing in amusement.
His personality wasn’t like anyone I had ever met. It was like nothing deterred him and like he knew too much to be bothered or upset by anything.
His personality allured me in the worst way imaginable. It made me want to know him, know about the things that brought a rise in him, the things that destroyed his calm.
And that thought itself was too overwhelming for me to dwell upon. So, I pushed it back, shoving in the deepest room of my mind. One I would never explore.
“Well then, Ivy, I apologize to keep you waiting for such a long time. But, I was doing something important and when you called me, I had to transport here from my home which is quite far” he replied, the smile on his face not fading.
“Busy doing what? Destroying someone else’s relationship? I fired, unable to help myself. My previous anger didn’t help my control either.
He sighed like he was tired of all my accusations. “I know that I cannot convince you with my words. I also know how stubborn you are and that unless you get any solid proof that I am not wrong, you won’t believe a word I say in my defense. So, instead, tell me why did you call me?”
A burst of irritation rose within me. It angered me that he thought he knew me but it made me angrier that he was correct.
He unnerved me, confused me and intrigued me. I didn't like the effect he had on me. I just wanted him out of my sight.
So, I accepted his change of subject and moved to the real reason why he was standing in front of me. “I found a way to prove that you are wrong” I uttered, revealing the information without any hesitance.
His happy and calm expression disappeared upon hearing my words and a frown fell upon his flawless face. It was easy to guess the reason as to why. “Are you sure that what you’re planning to do, is the right thing to do?”
His question further proved my guess.
He didn’t approve.
“Does it matter?” I asked, sounding nonchalant but determined.
“Yes it does, Ivy. You don’t have a bad heart, believe me, I know that. But, when you want something, you tend to go too far to get it” he stated.
“So, what if I go too far? Anyway, I wouldn’t have to do this if you just admitted that you made a mistake in my case” I said, hating the fact that I sounded petty, even to my ears.
He sighed his whole aura stating that he was disappointed. It made me feel bad. I didn’t know why. “Please don’t destroy something beautiful, Ivy. Love is beautiful. Please don’t be that heartless.”
A wave of unwanted hurt bloomed inside my heart. I wasn't heartless. I was just doing what he challenged me to do.
I hated that he called me heartless. I hated the fact that it hurt me even more. It shouldn’t matter.
Everybody thought that I was heartless. He wasn’t the only one. Then why did his words hurt more than anyone else's?
Those unwarranted feelings also brought out my defense mechanism.
Anger that I willingly allowed to take control of my mind. “I am not heartless. I am just realistic. Unfortunately, people like you can’t tell the difference. Get out of my house now. I want you here on Friday. Until then, don’t show your face to me.”
He blinked and regret washed over his eyes. “Ivy, I didn’t mean to hu-”
“Get your unwanted self out of my view” I barked.
His lips pursed into a thin line, indicating that he didn’t like my disrespecting tone but the regret was still in his eyes. I turned away, not giving caring if he was sorry.
A bright golden glow filled up the room again before he disappeared.
I released a shaky breath, trying to calm my overwhelming emotions. I hated it when I wasn’t able to control my own emotions. I trained myself long enough to know how to keep a leash on them.
I knew how to push any unwanted emotion away. I knew how to do that better than anyone.
And it frustrated me that he, a man who I had just seen two times, could break the tight leash I kept on my emotions.
Suddenly, my phone started to ring.
I was furious. I don’t remember a time I had been that angry in my life. The rage was strong enough to make my vision red and mind hazy. And the caller ID made every emotion of mine spiral more out of control.
I received the call.
“Hello, ivy-” her voice didn’t help.
“Would you stop fucking calling me? What part of ‘I don’t want you back in my life’ didn’t you understand?” I hissed venomously before cutting off the call and throwing my phone with all my force.
It hit the wall and fell to the ground.
I fell back on my bed, breathing raggedly, trying to get a hold of myself.
It wasn’t Cupid, I told myself. Cupid didn’t have that much force over my emotions. It was just stress. It was an eventful day.
If it wasn’t for the overbearing day, I wouldn’t have lost my cool.
Closing my eyes, I willed myself to fall asleep, knowing that if I did, I wouldn’t feel these blinding emotions anymore.