Soft full lips against mine. The heat, the electricity, the feeling, goes beyond anything that words can explain. My rough hands slowly inch up her honey brown thigh, caressing the smoothness of her body against mine. This is it, this is finally happening. After all these years of being in love with her; I have her. She is mine and I’m about to lose my virginity to the girl of my dreams. She kisses and bites along my jawline, causing my toes to curl and my manhood to grow. Looking into my eyes, she sits up while straddling me. She removes her light pink tank top over her head revealing a black lace bra on top of a perfectly round bosom. While reaching over to remove my glasses she smiles at me and says,
“Elliot, it's time to wake up.”
I stare at her in confusion and she repeats herself.
“Wake up Elliot! Wake up!”
Suddenly, I feel the force of someone pushing my shoulder and Judith’s sweet voice turns into my annoying big sister, Lisa’s voice.
“Wake up, assface...mom made breakfast.”
I hated that as a 21 year -old college student that I still live with my parents. In high school, I definitely reached every academic requirement there was for loans and scholarships. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to have a full ride that included room and board. Something about not having enough extracurriculars or something like that; me and my introverted ways I guess. My family isn’t poor or anything, but having overbearing Asian parents didn’t help my plans to go away for college. It was my mother's so-called bright idea to save them money that I’d stay home and go to school from there. Problem solved, right? Wrong! I’m an adult male still living with his parents! Not being the most attractive or most confident guy already wasn’t going to get me a girlfriend. Living with my parents certainly didn’t make it any better.
My sister, Lisa, no longer lived here at least. She usually came home on the weekends to be a pain in my ass. ‘Whack!’ The feeling of a hand flying across my cheek causes my eyes to fly open. Rubbing the side of my face, I sit upon my bed.
“What the hell Lisa?” I say attempting to soothe the burn on my cheek.
For a moment she looked smug, but smug turns into disgust quickly as she looks down at my pajama bottoms.
“Ew! Omg! Did you? Did you have a wet dream?”
I look down and jump at the realization. Fuck! Well, this is embarrassing, although this is not the first time I’ve been caught in this position. Nope, last time was ten times worse; it was my mother instead. Quickly, covering myself back up with my blanket— I attempt to shoo my sister out of my room.
“Get out Lisa!”
Instead of doing what I say she just laughs at me, teasingly.
“Let me guess, another dream about Judith. Mom told me about last time.”
How the hell do my wet dreams come up as a topic of conversation between these two? Apparently, there are no such things as boundaries in this family. I sigh deeply and run my hand down my face.
“Seriously? She told you that? And how does she know that it was a dream about Ju-...You know what never mind. Would you please get the hell out of my room please.”
“It was, wasn’t it? You still have the hots for your best friend?”
Growing more annoyed, I stand from the bed and storm toward her.
With force, I grab the backs of her shoulders and guide her to the bedroom door.
As soon as she makes it outside the doorway she turns to me with a lopsided grin on her face.
“You don’t stand a chance, you know? Have you seen the guys that she has dated and have you seen you? You might as well suck it up buttercup and move on. She’s way out of your league.”
I know she’s right, I've been in friendzone hell for many years. I don’t stand a chance, I'm just the nerdy best friend, but it’s like a punch in the face to hear that from someone else. Even more so, from my own sister.
“Wow, thanks for the unsolicited advice, sis. Have a nice day!” Before she can open her mouth to say anything else, I slam my door causing the room to vibrate.
“You're just mad because you know I'm right!” She yells from the other side of the door.
God, I can’t wait for the weekend to be over so she can go back to campus.
With my back toward the bed, I flop down on the plushness of my comforter. My sister is a bitch, but she’s right. Judith will never look at me that way—no matter how much I long for her. I hear the song ‘That’s my best friend’ coming from the nightstand. Yes, Judith chose that as her own ringtone and as stupid as the song is; I always feel extremely excited to hear it. I roll over to the other side of my bed, lifting my phone off of the nightstand.
“Clyde speaking, is this my Bonnie?”
The sweet sound of her laugh echoes in my ear.
“Why, yes tis Bon Bon at your service,”
she says with a terribly bad old English accent.
“Okay, that was a really bad accent, Junebug.”
I’ve been calling her the nickname Junebug since the fifth grade. She had these huge green-brown bug eyes that were almost adorably too big for her tiny face. At the time, she was made fun of because of her huge eyes. I was the only kid that talked to her. Although, she was always beautiful to me; she didn’t grow into her enormous eyes until the ninth grade. That was also when other parts of her had become more, shall we say, ‘womanly.’ She always stayed friends with me, but she was definitely gaining other male attention as well.
“Hey! Did you hear me or did you go to planet ding dong again?"
“Planet ding dong? Really?”
“Yes, you know, you space out easily, so I decided to give it a name.”
She’s always naming stuff.
“Whatever, what were you calling for anyways?”
“Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. I just wanted to ask my best friend forever to a movie night with all the junk that we can shove down our throats.”
“Well...duh, tonight, Clyde!”
“Okay, it's been a while since we've done one of those, but I'm totally down. No chick flicks though!”
“Ugh, such a buzzkill. Fine no chick flicks, but the pizza is on you.”
“Alright, laters babe.”
“Uh-huh, laters..and you should really stop reading Fifty Shades Of Grey.”
“Yeah, yeah, bye!”
We hang up and I automatically miss the sound of her voice. I’ll be okay in the friendzone as long as I can continue to be a huge part of her life.
Removing myself from the comfort of my bed, I walk into my bath and start the shower.
I make it more cold than hot because it’s needed after this morning's dream. My frequent wet dreams that always give my best friend a starring role were going to be the death of me. I turn to stand before the mirror and then take a look at my reflection and stare at the lame-ass looking back at me. My short black hair lays flat on the top of my head and the lack of facial hair makes me look like a sixteen-year-old boy. My glasses...don’t get me started on them, they look like something straight from the sixties, so large that you can barely see the narrow slants that I have for eyes. Hey, Sammy Davis Jr? Would you like your large black unattractive eyewear back?
I snatch my glasses off of my face and set them on the corner of the sink counter. Taking a deep breath, I turn and step into my cool shower; one foot at a time. I shiver as the cold water hits my back. One thing that I am a bit confident about is, let's just say I'm not tiny on the thing that matters. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the rumors are not true. I am indeed a well-endowed Asian man. Not that it matters much, I've never actually used the damn thing. I lather up my loofah, washing every nook and cranny. After rinsing off, I step out of the shower, dry off and begin getting dressed. I toss on a bleached stained navy blue shirt with a red and yellow Superman logo, some black jeans, and some white chucks. Obviously, I was nowhere near a fashion expert. I attempt to tease my hair into shagginess, but as usual, it falls flat again. Grabbing my ginormous glasses, I walk out of my bedroom door and head downstairs to the kitchen.
“About time you showed your face, breakfast is getting cold.”
My mom, Susan, says. Her accent is barely there as she’s been in the U.S. for twenty-six years now.
“Sorry, Mom, I had to take a shower.”
Lisa snickers and says,
“I bet it was a nice cold one, huh, brother?” I look her way with the best of all death glares and she just shrugs.
“What are you getting into today, son?”
My dad asks while flipping through a paper.
“Um, just hanging with Judith later.”
“Ah, sweet girl, tell her that we miss her around here.”
I miss her around here as well, she hasn’t been around as much because she was in a relationship and she goes to school too. Needless to say, I was relieved that she had ended things recently. The guy was a complete douchebag and now I get nights like tonight again.
“We’ll probably be seeing more of her around again,” I say, sporting a huge stupid grin on my face.
I grab one pancake off a plate and start walking out of the kitchen.
“Hey! Did I raise a Neanderthal? Is that all you're going to eat?”
Walking out of the front door, I nod my head in response to my mother and yell,