Tap. Tap. Tap.
"Eleanor, can you please stop tapping your pencil? It's distracting for the other students."
The girl in question, Eleanor Pratt, sent me her best attempt as a seductive smile.
"You're distracting the students, Sir."
I exhaled through my nose, before fixing her with a friendly but firm smile.
"That's very flattering, but drop the damn pencil all the same."
She pouted, sitting back in her chair with a sigh. The other students didn't seem to be paying much attention to her, instead focusing on the test. My phone buzzed in my pocket, alerting me to a text.
Darling, don't forget dinner tonight. We need to be at Antonio's at seven as Eliza booked the table for seven fifteen. Love you x
Why she felt the need to text me when we worked in the same building was beyond me. I wasn't looking forward to it, some family dinner with Vadas relatives from out of town. Apparently her cousin was getting married, and the family were big on catching up. I couldn't think of anything worse, but then again, I also didn't have an excuse.
The bell rang, cutting into my miserable thoughts with its harsh ringing.
"Leave your papers on my desk on your way out guys," I called, trying to grab them as the students launched them at my desk.
"Did you get my text?"
I glanced up as I shuffled the papers into a pile, noticing my girlfriend smiling sweetly at me.
"Hey, uh, no. Been in class."
She closed the door behind her, swinging her hips as she made her way over to me.
"Wait till everyone meets my delicious boyfriend. Mind you, they will soon be asking why we haven't got engaged yet."
I stiffened as her fingers danced around my shirt collar, shrugging her off with annoyance. Her fingers stilled in midair, her breath inhaled sharply.
"Evan, you seem so distant. It doesn't make sense, we're happy-"
Her eyes widened, her mouth forming the shape of an 'O' as she gazed at me.
"Well last night you seemed pretty happy when I was sucking your dick," she shot back, and I cringed at her words.
"Vada, I'm working. You should be too. I'll see you tonight."
I know I was being dismissive, but I didn't care. Vada measured our relationship by sex- and anyone could have sex. I didn't love her- never had. Maybe I needed to end it, once and for all.
"You know we have something, something good. Don't let me go, Evan, girls like me are hard to find."
She turned and walked away, her heels clicking on the floor whilst I buried my head in my hands. I was thirty, maybe I needed to settle down. But then I remembered Jain, and everything falls apart.
Jain. I'd marry her in an instant.
I felt incredibly guilty then, because Vada wasn't a bad person, and we did get on. The sex was good, but that was where it kind of ended. We had just fell into a groove, and I had been licking my wounds after Jain refused to speak to me.
My heart ached at the memory, and I tried not to think about it.
She turned, her smile disappearing when she saw me. I felt my stomach drop- what had I done that was so wrong?
"Sir?" she smiled politely, waving to her friends that she would be one minute.
"You aren't answering my calls-"
She out her hand on my chest suddenly, stopping me in my tracks. Her eyes burned into mine when she spoke softly.
"I'm moving away. It's for the best. You need to meet someone your own age...not your student. I'm sorry, Mr Silver."
I noticed one of her friends watching us closely as I forced a smile on my face, disguising the heartbreak.
"Can you at least tell me why? Do you not love me anymore?" I asked in a low voice, trying to prevent my hands from dragging her into my classroom and demanding an explanation.
"Because we would never work. Not in the real world."
"You didn't deny that you still loved me," I choked out, my chest aching with pain.
She nodded then, and I noticed her eyes soften.
"I'll always love you. You're my first love."
"I want to be your last," I hissed, when she flinched slightly.
"I know. Take care, Sir."
She held my gaze for a moment, before turning and walking away. The rage I felt was uncontrollable, and I struggled not to run after her there and then, fuck the job.
But I didn't.
I swallowed, much preferring the latest memory of us, fucking like animals in the cubicle of a store bathroom. I didn't care about the guilt, I loved her. I realised I was probably obsessed with her, and this worried me.
Vada was right. I needed to focus on her. I grabbed my things and made a mental note to stop at the store for some flowers. It was pointless thinking of Jain. She was engaged to be married, and I was in a pleasant enough relationship. If she wanted me, she would've never have walked away. Not once, but twice.
I needed to move on.