My Love For You, Never Died

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Chapter Four

Sitting here and listening to Jinha regurgitate all that happened in the past really is heartbreaking, I really never imagined that Kang Jinhee and Kang Seung Joon to be such horrible people and I know it was to raise him into the fine and handsome man Jinha is today but I mean like, did they really have to be so harsh on him and not to mention how Seung Joon was treated by the government and his sister.

From Jinha’s words, it seems as though Jinhee forced Seung Joon into marriage but Seung Joon is older and can pretty much think for himself. If he didn’t want to get married then why did he? And even after getting married, why did he have children if he didn’t love her, in fact, why did he sleep with her if he didn’t love her? - I have so many questions but no right to ask them.
So about twenty years back when I was sixteen, Seung Joon and I were going to celebrate our fourth year anniversary and not to mention that it was Seung Joon and his twin brothers birthday that same week so I planned so much for us and I bought Seung Joon a customized wristwatch with the engraving “I love you,” on it - cliche yes but I really did love him and I still do.

On our anniversary he gave me a necklace that matched his wrist band that could interlock. Most people would have the yin-yang sign or a heart that interlocks but he got a dragon on a cross that he kept while giving me the cross. I was so happy that I even asked him where and how much it cost but he told me to not worry about it.

Handing him my gift, he was happy but reminiscing over the past, his eyes show me that the present I give him is somewhat of a burden but I guess he didn’t show it to me well enough for me to notice it back then.

The next day was his birthday and the two of us went out to eat at the beach. He paid, making me wonder where he got the money whereas it seemed as though their family has just enough for bread and tea every week.

The following day I told him that I didn’t want to go to school and I wanted to lay in his arms instead. Agreeing to my selfish request, we skipped school and went back to their place and ended up having sex.

It was one of the best days of my life and also the strangest. During sex, I almost pee’d myself wet right after cumming. When we were done, the morning was almost over and we decided to head out to the beachside just to watch the waves to pass time.

Reaching the corner of the street we bumped into Kang Jin Hee running in the street. She slowed down reaching us grinning at me - I rolled my eyes because I knew she was about to tease me again

Seung Joon stopped her and asked, “Why aren’t you at school?”

She looked at him, then looked over at me and smirked, “Why isn’t your boyfriend at school?”

Looking at us, she must have guessed what happened, she pulled her face after blocking her nose and said, “Err disgusting, the two of you smell like sex.”

Seung Joon’s eyes widened and he pinched his sister’s cheeks, “How do you know what sex smells like you little shit!”

“Hyung, how can you say that? I live in a house full of males, I even know what your footsteps sound like so why wouldn’t I know when you’ve just gotten back from sleeping with your sweetheart over there.”

The three of us started laughing but then Jin Hee’s face froze, she just remembered why she was running home.

Seung Joon saw the sudden change and asked her, “What is it?”

“Hyung? Did the two of you do it at our home?”

“Where else?” he looked at her and was about to smile when he saw her eyes widened.

“In.front.of.Jin.Ha?” she looked at him and when Seung Joon heard her say that his heart must have dropped, his breathing became heavy and he stepped back. I looked at him and as I was about to reach out to him, Seung Joon’s body turned and he ran off.

I stood there stunned about to turn too Jin Hee to ask her what happened, but as I turned to face Jin Hee, she was no longer standing there.

I’m not fit and was left alone standing in the street. After a few seconds of deliberating, I ran off after them. Arriving there out of breath I just caught Seung Joon pull Jinha out from the wall crying while holding onto Seung Joon as if his life depended on it.

Dumbfounded I asked, “Was he here the whole time?”

Seung Joon looked at me forcing a smile while nodding his head in confirmation to my question.
Jin Hee pulled Seung Joon one side after asking me to look after Jinha after explaining to me what happened and why Seung Joon looked like he wanted nothing to do with me.

Jinha felt sick and wanted to stay home but because Jin Hee had a test she decided to leave him for a few hours while he slept and went to do her test at school then rushed home that’s why she was in the street. According to Jinha there was someone who tried breaking in and because Seung Joon is so efficient, when they moved in he built a space for Jinha to hide away in, in case something might happen, just like today - but the bad part was that the two of us had sex in front of Jinha not realising that he was hidden in the walls.

I placed Jinha down and walked to the other side to hear what they were speaking about, to make long stories short, Seung Joon is furious at himself for not realising certain things and putting the blame on someone breaking into the house on him.
After a while, he finally spoke, “Jin Hee, what am I going to do?”

“What are you talking about?”

“About Jinha.”

She looked up at him and then back down, “Jinha didn’t say anything about you and Soyoung, so don’t worry about it.”

“How can I not worry?”

She pressed on Seung Joon’s wound hard and looked at the pained expression he made, “If Jinha saw the face you made now, he’d laugh his ass off wouldn’t he?”


“Now what is your problem?”

“Jinha looks up to me and I’m supposed to be his role model, but here I am sleeping with another man in front of him while he was frightened; what will he think of me when he is older, what does he think of me now?”

Jin Hee got up then went into the house, she came back outside then sat down next to Seung Joon and shook her head as she said, “Hyung, that person isn’t a man.”


“No matter how much I look at him, even from different angles he looks like a fruit.”

“Oi, you know I don’t understand the shit that comes out of your mouth, speak clearly!”

Jin Hee looked at him and grinned, “What I meant was, no matter how I look at So Young, he still looks like a BITCH and I still don’t like him.”

“If you weren’t a woman I would have kicked your ass.”

“Not molest me as you do to your bitchy~”

“KANG JIN HEE!!!! Speaking to you is killing my brain cells.”

“That is true, but don’t you feel better?”

Seung Joon paused for a moment before he smiled.

“You see there, speaking to me works but then again Hyung you must remember, us siblings don’t think, you being attracted to the same sex is disgusting or the fact that you are fucking other males is disgusting now but back then when you first told us, we couldn’t understand it.

Over the years you did your job and look after us all and one thing we wish for is for you to be happy, you are a role model to us all and you are the one we will continue to rely on and so will Jin Ha but even so, if he gets cheeky, you can beat the shit out of him but just don’t go overboard otherwise, you and I will have a very hard time together as his parents, so don’t overthink it, show him you love him and he’ll worship you as he does now.”

Eavesdropping on their conversation was of no help because I still don’t understand that conversation.

Seung Joon walked me home after that and was quiet all the way home, I wondered what he was thinking because it wasn’t normal seeing him act like this.

I didn’t know this but that day he left my house with a very dark shadow over his head.

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