With his face in Alchoens palms, he said with closed eyes, “I love you, I love you, I love you but because I love you, my life has been made a mess of.”
That night, Alchoen packed a set of clothes for himself and went with Lee Won Ho to his apartment. The two of them took a shower separately and waited for the other in bed.
When both of them were done, Lee Won Ho got under the covers and opened his arms for Alchoen to lay in.
Laying in his arms, Alchoen felt the warmth from his body and listened to his heartbeat. For some odd reason, he felt safe and wished to stay like this for as long as he could.
After laying in bed holding Alchoen for an hour, Lee Won Ho called out to him, “Are you still awake?”, “Mn,” answered Alchoen.
Lee Won Ho, “I want to tell you something.”
Alchoen nodded his head against Lee Won Ho’s chest with closed eyes and listened to him speak as the sound of his voice vibrated through his chest.
Lee Won Ho, “I am the second son of the Lee family of Icheon that runs the Haishu centre.”
Alchoen’s eyes widened, he pushed himself up and looked at Lee Won Ho, with a stunning gaze he looked at him questioningly asking for confirmation.
Smiling warmly he nodded his head, “I am also a part of the army’s special unit, I have been since I was twenty-one years old.”
Alchoen, “So my father was right.”
Lee Won Ho, “Mn, I was pretty surprised when you asked me over the phone about it.”
Continuing with his story, “Now that you know my background there’s something else and please don’t be mad at me.”
Alchoen paused for a moment then turned his body over to look at him. Lee Won Ho propped up his right leg for Alchoen to lean against.
Looking into Alchoens eyes that seemed to be the depth of an endless well that was sucking him in, Lee Won Ho felt something stick against his throat.
Swallowing down the saliva that was in his mouth, Lee Won Ho spoke with a trembling heart, “I am engaged to the eldest daughter of the finance minister of the state… We have been engaged since I was eight.”
Hearing this Alchoen opened his mouth to say something but was stopped because the hand holding onto his gripped him tightly with a slight tremble to it.
Looking at their hands Alchoen brushed his thumb over Lee Won Ho’s and said with a question, “Is this why you said, “because I love you, my life has been made a mess of.”?”
Lee Won Ho looked down to Alchoens neck and bit down on the inside of his left cheek guiltily. Seeing the sad yet guilty expression on Lee Won Ho’s face he smiled helplessly.
The two of them sat in a moment of silence before Alchoen broke the silence.
Alchoen, “Lee Won Ho, I don’t like you as much as you like me, I was surprised when you made out with me and scared when you contacted me, I thought it was just a passing fling but you seem pretty serious about me even though it has just been two days. Why is it that you like me so much in this short span of two days?”
Lee Won Ho blinked back what seemed to be tears, smiling wearily he answered, “It hurts that you don’t like me as much as I do, but it’s not like I expected you to return my feelings.”
He paused for a moment and chocked. Saying with a croaked voice, “I just saw you and that was it… When I watched you study I… I don’t know but my heart kept pounding faster and although I tried to not look at you I couldn’t help it.”
“When you went to the restroom I ran after you, not wanting you to be far away from me, but when I got inside you did not even know I was there. I didn’t want to just leave the restroom with you alone in it and decided to urinate even though I could keep it in, then you know what happened next… I just couldn’t stop myself from holding you and kissing you.”