Johnniece liked Whistler but it never match the Himalayas, alas she was banned from nepal. How she miss the Himalayas and the life and romance they brought.
Never will she make love tantric or non tantric where she wanted with pemba. Even though he was more strict with his loving.
The killings she committed out of passion and the arousal that came after the attacks, johnniece woke up screaming from the memories and night mares.
She cried at the thought of making love as she had flashbacks of her first love Lama tsangsang. tenzin.
She can feel his lips as she slept. His gentle and passionate kisses. It was as if he were a ghost haunting her.
Suring the night she had dreams of tantric love making with tenzin....moaning in phantom pleasure. The dreams where that realistic and sensitive. Then she would wake thinking to be with tenzin but oh that guy.
When that thought came that she was in her childhood country with a quote lover she wanted to start crying.
Although she was getting therapy her depression and anxiety continued to the point where she was hurting herself.
She cut her self and burned herself with cigarettes and carved in her shine the tibetan word for hell.
When pemba noticed that she was doing this to her self he was beside himself. She was committed yet again and was diagnosed with incureable depression. The 6 month corse of in patient treatment was niw a wake up called.
She explained in groups that she lost her only daughter, never to find her.and that she was was in full betrayal but thoses she loved and deprived in the name of buddhism.
During the group she cried as if she never had in her life.
Then soon the urge to do to art camd quickly. She painted Tibetan styled tantric art that depicted her and tenzin... semi traditional semi realistic.
She kept the paintings up. They disturbed pemba which meant that she was going to disturb others. She then started posting the paintings only deviant art and soon started finding their way to art galleries across canada.
She did 30 paintings with in a month with out any training. And 20 grotesque sketchs of the women she hacked to death. Again she was a natural and had the posted and sold yet distrubing many people.
Art is supposed to disturb the normal and comfort the disturbed.
When art had released some of the emotions...she wrote a fictionalized version of the events that sent her back to canada. Only more grotesque and horrific and erotic. Her book the the abboud of the blood, was a best seller and most conversational horror books.
But her relationship with her now husband was one the wire.
She thought if she couldnt have what she wanted she would leave. And she just did that.
Johnniece served pemba with papers and walked out. For the relationship wasnt spicey.