To close for comfort - chapter 32
Tonight I had a familiar dream to the one that haunted me so many times throughout my life, only this time I was not running away from the wolf that chased me. I was running with him.
I could hear myself laugh and giggle while he caught up to me and playfully nipped at my heels, we ran through the endless forest without a care in the world, usually, I was scared to death and on the brink of collapse, but my usual fear and submissive nature was gone, replaced with happiness and newfound freedom. It was so strange and alien to me, I was confused by the crazy dream that made me feel warm and fuzzy, whereas before I would have woken up trembling with tears running down my face.
As we approached the cliffside that my dream always ended in I started to remember how it always ends, I become cornered, my neck bleeding with no explanation as to how I was bit, and the wolf tearing into me. I wanted to stop, to change the fate that haunted my dreams so many nights but I couldn't control my body, I couldn't stop my feet from running right towards the end of the road. I could only watch. Then I saw it the bite mark was still on my shoulder, this was the same dream, no, the same nightmare!
I was no longer myself at this point, I was just an onlooker watching from the sidelines as my person came to the dead end and stopped, when she turned around I noticed her eyes were not my own, they had changed, and now the irises glowed. I was amazed at how I looked, how she looked, she was not a skinny, pale, wolfless girl, afraid of loud noises and too submissive to look people in the eyes. She was strong and curious.
She looked around with a confused frown adorning her face. I snapped out of my trance once I noticed the rustle of the nearby bushes, she had no idea she was in danger, I tried to call out to her but I had no voice and no control.
The wolf that had been chasing her stepped out into the open in front of her, not nearly as menacing as I remembered, besides the black fur I couldn't see much else. I held my breath as it approached her, she wasn't afraid though she only smiled and reached out her hand to it. I watched as the wolf nuzzled its head against her palm lovingly. My anxiety quickly faded as I watched the two adore each other, it didn't feel like me, that woman was someone, something else. She looked at the wolf then raised her head and looked straight at me still smiling. She could see me. Growling from the nearby bushes got all of our attention as six shadowy wolves with glowing red eyes stepped out of the forest. The black wolf faced then with its ears back and lips curled into a snarl, he kept her behind him as a means to protect but when one of the shadows lunged he jumped in to fight them all off.
A new kind of dread filled me as I watched the kind wolf fight off all the monsters. The girl was now scared and backing into a corner against the cliffside. Another rustle in the bushes across from her took my attention as a massive beast of a shadow stepped out of the forest towards her. It's glowing red eyes would burn nightmares into the minds of any person, and its fangs were sharp as knives, dripping with saliva. It stalked towards her as she sat there too scared to move. I looked over to see the other wolf was too busy fighting to do anything.
I watched as it got closer to her, a horrendous snarl coming from the beast, she cowered and shrank back into the rocky cliff as much as she could but there was nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide. A defining shriek pierced my ears as the creature lunged at her.
I awoke with a gasp and sat up clutching the blanket against my chest. Something moved to my right, and in a panic, I moved away scared of the black creature beside me.
He stood up on high alert looking around the small shack with his ears forward listening for anything that might alert him to danger. My heart was ready to beat out of my chest, and I only started to calm down when I realized who it was. He looked over at me confused and must have noticed my distressed state because he quickly laid down on his belly and pulled his ears back before settling his head in my lap.
Taking a shaky breath I started to relax and pat his head. He meant to comfort me so I was no longer scared. I looked into his eyes and he stared right back. Sunlight was pouring into the small cabin through the old glass window. We must have slept here all night.
Once I got my nerves under control I spoke up. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He let out a small whine that shocked me.
Lifting his head he hugged my arm with his nose and I looked at it to see the claw marks I had obtained yesterday were nearly healed. I smiled and looked back at him.
Thank you, for saving me. He stood up and took a step closer sniffing the wound before starting to clean it again. I blushed at how intimate an action this was, and looked away. Obviously, axtons wolf wasn't one to care about customs. Speaking of wolf, why was he still here? I looked back once he was done and inspected the wound. It was healing fast. "Thanks."
Seeming pleased with his work he turned away and went over to the door. I stood to my feet and opened it before following him outside. My nose was assaulted by the smell of flowers and I hummed enjoying all the different scents. Axton's wolf only growled in irritation and pawed at his nose, I guess it was too strong for him. I smiled and followed him into the forest.
Walking beside him I kept my hand on his back enjoying the feel of his soft fur. He didn't growl at me for touching him so he must not mind it. I couldn't stop thinking about the dream I had, the girl looked exactly like me, yet different, what does it mean? Thinking back to the shadows made me shudder, I couldn't stop it from attacking them and the wolf couldn't fight them all no matter how hard it tried.
If anything this made me feel the need to learn to fight, even more. I won't roll over and die. I'll fight my enemy's until the bitter end, they will no longer get the satisfaction of pushing me down. Letting out a long sigh I only hoped I had the strength to do so.
Axton's wolf glanced over at me while we continued to walk my legs and back felt a little sore, most likely from being thrown in the car crash. He must have noticed since we went off trail and found a spot to rest. He laid down under the shade of a giant spruce tree looking at me expectantly.
I sat by him with my back turned towards him and looked up at the trees, through all the pine needles and treetops there were bits of grey and blue poking through and cloudy skies were slowly taking over with the promise of rain. Glancing over at him I noticed he was watching me, there was a cloudy ring around his eyes, that usually appears when someone is blocking out communications from the pack link. It was just us out here, he didn't want anyone else to interrupt. Smiling I rubbed behind his ears earning a satisfying whine of sorts.
"You probably shouldn't block out the entire pack, they are probably wondering where you are. " he looked away and set his head down with a huff.
Why was his wolf still in control? Axton should have resurfaced by now and taken us back home, yet he seemed to be delaying our walk back as much as possible. Thinking over it for a few moments, a possibility came to mind.
"Are you holding him back, so you have control?" He didn't even lift his head only glancing at me, confirming my suspicions. I was told he had lost control weeks ago when I went into a coma, he hurt a few pack members in the process and caused quite a stir within the pack, had axton even let him out since that happened?
"You know you can't stay like this forever. You have to give back control soon." In response to my words, he let out a low growl and turned away. He didn't want to be locked away, who does? I've been imprisoned my entire life, I'm still imprisoned in some ways inside my own mind, fear keeps me from living my life the way I want to.
"I know your upset with him from locking you up all this time but I think he's just worried you two might lose it again..." I ran my hand down his back feeling his soft fur run through my fingers. "You must be a little worried about that too am I right?" A low whine was my response.
"How about this, I'll try to convince axton to let you out more, neither of you will have to worry about losing control again because if you do, I promise I'll be there to stop you." He turned his head back to look at me and I smiled back at him warmly.
"But you have to change back, axton needs to return to the pack he can't leave them without a leader, they are probably getting worried... I'll convince him to let you out again soon." With a long whine, he stood up to his feet in front of me and gave me a warm kiss on the cheek, despite him being a dog I still blushed at the action.
Bowing his head he started to gift back, the snap of bones making me wince as his wolfly features fell away and turned back into those of a human, his paws became hands, his maw became a human face, his fur turned to skin until all that was left was axton. His chest was heaving and I could see his body slightly tremble after the transformation. He stayed there crouched before me with his head down.
He lifted one hand to hold his head with a groan no doubt getting flooded by his pack members asking where he is. I watched as he raised his head looking around at our surroundings before his eyes met mine. My breath caught in my throat and I didn't look away.
With a squeak of surprise from me, He grabbed me and pulled me towards him into a smoldering hug, he took a deep breath then pulled away looking all over my body. "Are you hurt?"
"N-no I'm fine now, already healed, see?..." there's no way I was going to tell him that I practically got a bath from his wolf self, what he did was intimate, and I can't say I tried to stop him. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks as I lowered my head.
A sudden realization hit me, my entire face turned red and I quickly looked away, still only arm's length away from axton. I'm not sure how I didn't think about this before, but now he's bare ass naked.
He looked at me confused before looking down at himself, he looked back up with a smug amused smirk. Before he could say anything about my embarrassment, nature decided to spare me the smart comment as thunder cracked through the sky. He looked to the sky then the surrounding forest, sniffing the air to find the direction of the pack.
"We should get going" I only nodded still avoiding looking at his body. "And as much as I like the rain, it's not great for bathing, and we both need a bath." His voice was laced with amusement as he crouched down beside me. Letting out a surprised squeak I was lifted off the ground and pressed firmly into his bare chest as he carried me bridal style. I think my blush only got worse and I tried to protest and push away. "I can walk by myself! And your indecent!"
A husky chuckle reverberated from his chest as he looked down at me. "I'm well aware of that little one but you're just going to slow us down and we'll get caught in the rain if we don't hurry, besides you need to get a little more comfortable with nudity, once your wolf comes out you will have to shift and I'm not buying you new clothes because you refused to take them off when you transform, consider this your first lesson."
I tried to hide my embarrassment by keeping my head down as he carried me back to the packhouse.
Maybe I should have waited until we were back home before I convinced his wolf to change back. Gods I hope no one sees us like this.