Whatever life path Chase had chosen it wasn't an easy one that's for sure. The pain is clearly evident in his eyes. He is clearly haunted by that choice he made. But why? He is still panty dropping sexy and still has that devilish smile that makes me ache in places. I chastise myself for that train of thought.
It's just so hard looking at him and not remembering everything and everyone. Looking at him makes me see Blake all over again, makes me remember. I just want the pain to stop. I want to not feel again.
I never heard Chase walking up to me until he spoke.
"My precious, I am so sorry" he started to say but I cut him off.
"Don't Chase, don't say it," I beg still not looking at him.
"My precious please," he tries again pleading with me this time.
I stand up, dust the sand off my pants and finally face Chase.
"Please what Chase, please what? And stop calling me that I am NOT your precious anymore, so please what?" I am now ranting and have no control of what leaves my mouth.
"Why don't you rather tell me where you have been, for the last what, almost five years and why you couldn't ...... you know what just leave Chase, leave now it's just too damn painful right now" I practically sob. I am shaking from anger at him and this damn situation I am finding myself in.
Seething with frustration that I could really hurt him right now and I don't want to do that. He is physically the only link I have left to Blake.
"I can't" he says placing his hand on my shoulder.
I try not to cave at the heat I feel from his hand on my skin.
"I can't leave, not now. Can we please have dinner then we can talk precious please. Just give me the chance to explain everything to you please. You can go back to hating me again after but please just hear me out" he turns me around and looks deep into my eyes. I can see the pleading behind his crystal blues.
With my heart slamming against my chest and the pleading in Chase's eyes, I finally relented, nodding my head in agreement.
"One dinner Chase, only because I am dying to hear your excuses for your lack of presence and sympathy, over the past almost five years." I reply turning away from Chase heading back home. Once again leaving Chase behind.
It killed me to leave him standing there, I am thrilled to see him again after so many years. I am scared, I don't want him to see the effect he is having on me, not that I am doing a good job in hiding it, the hurt and the rest of my emotions was packed tightly away.
I didn't want him to see that he still effected me. I wasn't the same person I was back then, that I was somehow, older and wiser.
As much as I wished I could just walk away, I couldn't. I stopped dead in my tracks. I had seen the vulnerability in Chase's eyes and I just didn't have the heart to keep walking away. I turned slowly and took a deep breath.
"Chase, do you wanna come inside for a drink or something?" I invited.
"I was just going to make myself a lemonade, would you be interested?" I turned when I saw acceptance and shock etched on Chase's features and started walking away again and this time Chase followed.