Lying in Chase's arms feels so right. Wondering if it is just my lifelong infatuation with this man that makes it feel all kinds of wonderful.
With my head resting on his chest and my hand drawing small unseen patterns on his chiseled chest, I took a deep breath then asked a question that has been plaguing me since he uttered the words.
"What did you mean, when you said you are not going anywhere Chase?" I asked not wanting to get my hopes up but I lifted my head slightly to see Chase smile at my question. His eyes are closed and he is rubbing circles on my back.
"Gabrielle and I are moving back home precious. I have started house hunting already." His husky voice sending shivers right back to a place that just received ample attention.
"But why, why would you move back here now, after so many years, what about the life you built back home?" I ask more out of curiosity. Surely it couldn't be for me, could it?
"Why all the questions, precious. There are a few reasonable answers to that?" he says rolling me over then lying over me, keeping most of his weight on his arms.
Well for one, there is nothing and no-one keeping me there.
And two, my folks are here and they need me here now and having Gabrielle around, helps them.
And three, I made a deal with my brother.
But most importantly my precious, you are here." He says kissing me on my cheek.
"What about Claire?"
"Precious what about Claire, Claire disappeared the day Ella was born, she has not attempted to see Ella or me since then. I have no idea where she is." He says trying to explain it calmly.
"Look, I know it's hard to discuss her, I suppose and I am sorry for that, we can leave it, I understand"
I say sounding more supportive than I actually thought I was.
"No baby, actually it's not hard discussing her....." I cut him off.
"Ok great, so what happened to Claire?" I asked rather inquisitive as to her whereabouts.
"I am not sure, your guess is as good as mine" Chase says.
"Well thats really sad" I say actually feeling for a little girl that will grow up without a mother.
"Why's that sad precious" he asks now pulling me closer to his chest.
"Because that precious little girl of yours will grow up without knowing her mother, knowing her touch, how it will feel to have a hug or even kisses when she's feeling down or when her heart gets broken."
Now wasn't the time for Gabby to get all emotional about a little girl that isn't even hers.
"Precious I am touched that you really care." Gabby cut him off midsentance with a chaste kiss and jumped off the bed.
"I am going to take a shower" things were getting too real in there and Gabby needed a reprieve, a few minutes too herself so she could process everything that has happened in the past twenty four hours. I was kind of hoping that Chase would've joined me, but he never did.
When I stepped out of the shower, I grabbed a towel and wrapped myself in it then walked back into my bedroom. Chase was dressed and just sitting there, on the edge of the bed with his head hung low in his hands. He looked so forlorn. So deep in thought.
"Look baby, I know we have a long way to go, please don't shut me out, don't make the same mistake I did years ago. I will stick around this time, I will not loose you, not again. Come home with me today, come spend some time with me. Me and Gabrielle please?" His eyes were shut almost as if he didn't want to see the rejection, he felt he deserved.
As much as I feel for Chase I just can't let myself fall back into things with him. There is a little girl to consider. His life is about to take some drastic turns.
"Chase, as much as I would love to just fall back into old habits with you. We just can't afford to do this right now, You have to get yourself and Ella sorted out first. I have my own shit I need to work through myself. Now is just not the right time." I tell him with sincerity holding his face in my hands, looking deep into his eyes.
"Are you saying no to me, Gabby?" He asks sadly. I can see the tears at the surface.
"For now yes, but not forever Chase, do you understand?" I ask lowering my face towards his where I kiss him tenderly.