I leave for London tomorrow I have had a few messages, missed calls from Scott he even tried to call around to Marcus’ but I decided to go stay with Mark to avoid him. I don’t know how to deal with keeping this from him? I hate being caught in the middle. Why couldn’t I have gone with him and we both walked in? I am gutted because I have lost the precious time I wanted with Scott and now look at the mess I have made. Just hand me the shovel cause I just keep digging deeper. My flight is at lunchtime and I have to be at the airport early to get through security. I want to see Scott, but how do I tell him I love him when deep down. I am keeping an enormous secret and lying to him.
Part of me wants to be selfish and just be honest, but then I betray Mark. Suzie promised she would tell Scott, but how long do I wait? My phone rings and I look down to see Marcus calling.
“You are making a horrible mistake, Blake.”
I sigh. “Please don’t I already feel like shit,”
Marcus tells me everything. “Scott is beside himself worrying about you, he has no clue what he has done wrong.”
I feel the tears form. “He hasn’t done anything.”
“Well, he doesn’t know that now, does he?”
I cry. “I know it’s just a mess.”
Marcus tells me straight. “Well unmess it, Blake, you are about to throw away something that could be amazing, you both deserve to be happy stop protecting others. Protect yourself. You were on borrowed time now your down to the end, you will regret this.”
“Ok, ok, I get what you’re saying.”
Marcus gives me some more encouragement. “That a girl, Blake.”
I end the call and look down until I find Scott’s number before I hit the call button and listen to it ring. There is no answer, so I decide to leave a voicemail.
Hi Scott, I need to talk to you can we please meet today? I will be at the coffee shop at the corner of Marcus’ place at 2. Bye.
I walk downstairs to find Mark “You have been avoiding me?” I look at him.
“I have been avoiding everyone.”
Mark looks at me, nervous to say anything. “Talk to me, Blake.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to talk to you, I want to scream at you, Suzie, and you have put me in a shitty predicament.”
“I talked to Suzie we are going to tell him today.”
I gasp. “Wait, you are?”
Mark nods. “Yip, so at the minute I am a dead man walking and this is my last meal.” I look at him and demand answers.
“We never had this conversation EVER! You never brought her up and Scott mentioned he had a sister but never too many details what happened?” Mark sighs.
“We all grew up together, Suzie was this little firecracker she was friendly and outgoing, then as she got older I liked her more. I noticed how she became a woman and I developed a crush on her, as all big brothers do Scott said she was off-limits. It wasn’t like I wanted her for that reason. Then one night when Scott was away Suzie’s car broke down. She was in the middle of nowhere and asked for me to come and help. When I arrived she was wearing this little summer dress but it had been raining and it soaked her through so I gave her my jacket. She had to walk around getting reception on her phone to call me. I couldn’t help myself. Her hair clung to her face. The next thing I remember. I am moving her hair off her face and kissing her. One thing leads to another and well we ... you know, in the back seat of my car.”
“Holy Fuck Mark.” he continues. “I wouldn’t have done anything if I had known.”
I am clinging on for more. “Known what?”
Mark paces. “That I was her first.”
My eyes go wide, “Oh Mark.”
“I like her, but the guilt was consuming me. We were fooling around for a little while after that. I had to stop it, I never meant to hurt her she means a lot to me. I was going to make her my girlfriend, but Scott caught me looking at her that night in the bar and warned me, so I ended it. I dated Blake and well Suzie got upset and left, she went travelling and never spoke to me again. So when Scott said that Suzie was back, I had to see her. Wanted to apologise for everything and well, apparently history has a way of repeating itself. The feelings I had for her are still there. I tried to bury them but I can’t deny it.”
“Scott is going to be angry that you lied to him but you have been friends for years and well Suzie is his sister, it might not be as bad as you think. Well, at the start it will be but he will come around, if what your saying is true, how you feel about Suzie.”
Mark has tears in his eyes. “I am sorry I keep fucking up, I am sorry for putting you through this. It was never fair of us to ask you to keep this from Scott. I know you two have got close.”
I put my head down. “This secret has cost me time with Scott I can’t get that back and when he finds out about you two and the fact I knew and kept it from him he is going to hate me. It’s too new between us for him to forgive me.”
Mark tilts my head to look at him. “I know everyone is in the firing line but I promise I will do everything in my power to make him see it from your point of view he can hate me but I won’t allow him to hate you.”
“I hope you’re right Mark because the truth is I am in love with him.”
Mark reaches out for my hand as I cry. “You have my word I will fix this.”
I haven’t eaten and I can’t sleep, the smell of Blake is still on my pillow. I knew something happened. She is now avoiding me, texts, phone calls all unanswered, I even tried to get her at Marcus’ but he said she wasn’t there. I’m hurt and angry, I feel led on and used. Having been down this road before, I won’t do it to myself again my past taught me a lot and I don’t give out my heart easily. But Blake just came in like a thief in the night and stole it I would have given her my heart. Hell, I already have given her it willingly. I decide to stop mopping and grab a shower, as I get dressed I look down at my phone I see a missed call from Blake.
Listening to it, part of me the sensible part wants to meet and hear her out, the stubborn, prideful part wants to leave her and let her chase after me. Considering she left me high and dry. I battle with myself until I can’t do it anymore. I am about to leave and meet her when I hear Suzie in the kitchen, I can hear her talking to someone, I walk in and find her and Mark.
“What’s going on?” It startled both of them from their conversation.
“Scott, I need to talk to you!”
I look at my watch. “Can it wait? I have to go to meet Blake.”
Suzie shakes her head. “This can’t wait, it’s important.”
I look over and find Mark taking my sister’s hand. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Mark and I ...” I look at how Mark is watching her, oh that son of a bitch.
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, what the hell have you done?”
Mark finally speaks up. “I couldn’t help it, I have always cared about Suzie for a long time.”
“Bullshit, what’s this really about? You can’t seriously tell me you care for my sister that way. How long?”
Suzie’s answer renders me speechless. “Years...”
I shake my head, unable to come to terms with this. “But you were with Blake, then Nicole, then Blake, and then back to Nicole? When did... whatever the fuck this is happen?”
I pace the floor at the minute I want to rip him away from my sister and beat his skull in. He is my best friend, and she is my baby sister, someone I warned him of years ago, but that hasn’t stopped him.
“You went travelling because some dick broke your heart.” Suzie dips her head, while Mark brings her closer to him.
“IT WAS YOU, YOU’RE THE REASON SHE LEFT.”
Mark stands up straighter. “I can explain you told me to stay away from her?”
I scream. “I TOLD YOU THAT MANY TIMES. APPARENTLY, YOU DON’T LISTEN.”
“I was going to tell you but you caught me looking at her at the bar and tore me a new one, I wanted to be with her, but the guilt of what we were doing behind your back was killing me, so I ended things.”
Suzie snaps at Mark. “You ended things because of him.”
Mark looks at her. “I am so sorry, Suzie.”
Suzie has tears dripping down her chin. “You wanted to be with me.”
Mark nods. “I did... I do.”
I yell. “WHEN DID THIS STARTUP AGAIN?” They both snap their attention back to me.
“I came here the night I knew she was back!”
I breathe out. “That’s why you were in the city, wait that was the night you were here when you were supposed to be out with friends.” It can’t be a coincidence that something changed in Blake that night, Suzie was here. Something happened that bits clear. I glare over at Suzie.
“WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT?”
“Please don’t be mad.”
I spit out. “MAD, I AM NOT MAD I’M FUCKING LIVID.”
Suzie whispers. “Blake walked in on us, Scott.”
My heart shatters into a million pieces. “Blake knows?”
Mark interrupts. “We begged her not to say anything, we wanted to tell you!”
I struggle to keep the tears at bay. “So that’s why she’s been avoiding me because of you two sneaking around. She lied to me and hid this from me. Is that what you’re telling me?”
Mark steps away from Suzie coming to me. “It’s not like that Scott and you know it, she didn’t have a choice!”
I scoff “YES, SHE DID, and she picked you over me. I can’t do this right now.” Grabbing my keys and phone. Dailing a number, he picks up.
“DID YOU KNOW?”
Marcus swears. “FUCK!”
I feel like an idiot. “So I am the last fucker to know?”
Marcus tries to explain things “Blake has been beating herself up about it. She was going to talk to you.” I feel my heart beat faster. “Yeah, well, Suzie and Mark beat her to it.”
“That’s not the point the girl is head over heels for you, it was just difficult for her to deal with what happened. What did you expect from her?”
The betrayal cutting deeper by the minute. “She protected him from being honest with me!”
Marcus asks. “Where are you?”
I look at my surroundings. “I am just walking around right now, I can’t be in my place I will get done for murder.”
“Come see me!”
I shake. “I am supposed to be seeing Blake.”
Marcus softly answers. “Well, it’s about time. What are you waiting for? Get off the phone and go get her.”
I struggle to wrap my head around everything. “I don’t know if I can.”
Marcus gets angry. “You’re a fucking prick if you can’t get past this. She was torn and you know it. It’s not fair to treat her like shit for what Mark and Suzie have been doing. You’re really going to let them sabotage your future?”
“Shit, you want to talk about being treated like shit try being ignored and having no fucking idea why. This has nothing to do with them, so stop bringing that up.”
His voice raises. “Oh, stop being a fucking pussy and go talk to her about it. Blake has a right to explain herself, Blake told a white lie because your sister begged her to if it wasn’t for them you two wouldn’t be doing this to each other, so pull your head out of your ass. It was from a good place. She didn’t want to upset you. Why should she have been the one to tell you, anyway?”
I hang up on him. Right now I am not in the right frame of mind to be dealing with this. In all my anger, I have somehow allowed my body to lead me to the coffee place I am supposed to be meeting Blake. I look into the window I can see her in a booth tracing her fingers around the coffee cup and even though I am angry, she still takes my breath away. My belly to do flips and my heart bounces behind its cage. I reach the door and stop. I go to grab the door handle, freezing my reach.
“Well, aren’t you going in?”
I turn around and find an amiable lady smiling at me. I give her a weak smile.
“No, not this time.”