All-day I was confident about my decision, I thought I was ready to come face to face with my mother. But now, standing in front of the house, I don't have the courage to take one step in the direction of the doors. I feel like I'm glued to the pavement, I`m afraid of what is waiting for me behind those doors.
“Are you okay? Maybe I should go with you.” Luca mumbles looking at my face.
“No, I will be fine. I just get inside, take my things, and get out.” I try to reason with him, but I know that I don't sound convincing. All the way to my house, he tried to change my mind and allow him to come with me, but I knew that if he comes inside all hell will break and this is what I'm trying to avoid.
“Fine, but I will be standing right here if something happens or I hear sounds I don't like I`m coming inside and no one will stop me,” he says looking straight into my eyes, he is determined I can see that much and I know he will do it. I just nod, because nothing will change his mind and part of me is thankful that if something will happen, there is going to be a person who will save me.
I gather all my courage, there is no going back, I make my first step, second and I don't notice how quickly I found myself in front of the door. I take out my key and try to unlock it as quietly as possible.
The first floor is empty, there is no one in the kitchen, living room, but there are many empty bottles laying on the floor. Everywhere is a mess, I notice a few white powder lines on the table, not bothering to look anymore at my surroundings, I quickly run upstairs to my room.
Like I was expecting, my room is ruined, everything is broken. All my books are torn, my clothes are cut. I hope she didn't find my hiding place. I run to my closet, turn on the light, climb on the chair, and slowly push a small batten on the wall.
There I saw my little box, with all my saved money, my little sister's stuffed animal, she loved it, she never left without it, it was white fluffy rabbit.
I remember when my parents bought it for her on her first birthday, she took that bunny into her hands and never let it go, until that day.
There are a few more things, my father's wristwatch, he was wearing it all the time, my grandmother's necklaces. I close the box, when I make sure that all things are in there, climb down and turn to get far away from this miserable place.
“Look at that, my fųcking ungrateful little bįtch is back.” I look up at the voice and see my mother leaning against the door, in one hand she had a lighted cigarette in the other half empty beer bottle.
“Do you like how I rearrange your room?” She said, smiling while taking a deep breath of cigarette smokes.
I stayed quiet because I didn’t know what to expect if I say anything, everything now depends on how high she is. From the look of it, I don’t expect a good ending.
“Why are you not saying anything?!” She yelled and smashed the bottle into the door frame, half of it shattered to the floor and the other half stayed in her hand. At this very moment I was scared for my life, at this moment I was expecting the worst ending.
“My little angel shouldn’t have died, you should have died in her place!! But don’t worry, I will make sure you die today, I will make sure you die painful, like my little baby, because it’s your fault. You’re to blame for her death!!” She said those words slowly walking to me, pointing that broken bottle at me.
At this point I couldn’t stop my tears, I couldn’t stop from shaking. At this point I was begging that Luca would show up.
“Please, stop it.” I said slowly backing away from her, but suddenly I bumped my back into the windowsill.
“Ha! My baby didn’t want to die eather! But look what happened!” She said walking to me and swinging the bottle at me, pointing sharp edges to my throat.
I screamed and ducked, but slipped on the torn papers and laid on the floor. I tried to back away from her crawling, but she swinged one more time at me, from instinct I put my hands in front of me.
“Get the fųck away from her!” I heard a voice call from the hallway.
Slowly opening my eyes I saw Luca holding my mother's hands in his and taking the bottle from her. When he was sure that she can’t injure me or him with it he pushed her away and came straight to me.
I was a mess, she ruined my life, she made my life miserable and now she wanted to kill me.
She wanted to kill me, she still wants me dead. Only this thought was repeating in my head over and over again.
“Princess, are you okay? Look at me.” Luca whispered, taking me into his hold.
“Come here baby, I’m taking you away from here.” He said when he made sure I could stand on my feet.
“My box, can you take it?” I asked, still shivering from what happened.
“Look at this, this fųcking whore found a boy toy.” My mother shouted laughing.
“Don’t you ever dare talk about her that way! Because I will make sure that you would feel every pain she felt over the years. I will make sure to inflict so much pain, that you will be begging to kill you.” Luca said not letting his gaze move an inch from my mother.
I haven’t seen this said of Luca, it was scary. All his anger wasn’t focused on me, but I still shivered from it.
“Is this a threat, boy?” My mother asked, lifting her eyebrow, challenging him.
“No, it’s a promise.” And with these words we left. I left my past behind me, at least I hoped so.