I was sprawled out on Emery’s bed waiting for her to present herself. Ryan asked to chill in my room for a while so I know it had to be bad. I've been covering for her ass these last couple days and she's been keeping secrets from me, of all people. Her cover story was mediocre at best, but I just told Ryan it was common for students to go to lectures and conventions, that her absent behavior was normal. Yep. Lying already before we really start our relationship.
He's moving out next weekend and I miss him already. I was getting used to him being here.
"Hey." I glanced at Emery then refocused my attention back on the ceiling that enticed the images of Ryan that have accumulated into my psyche. When he does smile, it's beautiful and it's contagious.
The bed dipped beside me. "Why are you smiling at the ceiling like that?"
I shook the thoughts from my head. "Nothing. So you and Roman, huh?"
"What? What're you-"
"Are you really going to lie to me? Again?"
"No." She laid beside me on the bed, staring at the ceiling with me.
"So when did it start?"
She breathes heavily. "The night we smoked the pot and went to the club. It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life...a wonderful mistake."
"So let me get this straight. We smoked weed, we drank, and you went off with Roman and had the best sex of your life. I guess I'm just not understanding the part where you didn't tell me."
"I don't know. I guess I was embarrassed and...and I wasn't expecting to like it so much. I thought it'd be easy to tell him to fuck off but it was just different."
I pulled out one of the pre rolled blunts from the other night and lit it up, taking a few puffs. My body eased a bit.
Emery snatched it from my hand. "Give me that. I need it more than you right now. Ryan plotting my death as we speak." She took a long drag.
"He just cares about you. He doesn't want to see you hurt again and I don't either."
She passed it back to me. We sat in silence, smoking. It felt different this time around. I was calmer, more like stuck. Emery had to be feeling as good as I was because she was quiet as well. When it was almost gone, I put it out on the coaster we were using to catch the ashes. We laid there silently, minds wandering to things we probably forgot about and things we hate to admit to ourselves. Suddenly, Emery chuckled. Her chuckle turned to a full blown cackle that in turn cause my explosive snickering and laughing.
"Why are you laughing?" I asked clutching my cramped stomach.
"I'm so stupid." She laughed even harder.
"You're not stupid."
"No. I am. I really am." She laughs more bitterly this time. "Out of all the things I could have been thinking of, I'm thinking of him."
"No." I knew who she meant. It got quiet again. "Why? Why would he do it?"
"That's one question only he can answer. I, honestly, thought you'd take my advice."
"What advice?" She turned to me with a confused look.
"Third option?" When her expression didn't change, I saw the need to elaborate. "You should have dated both of them, took you're time to get to know them without the strain of one of them interfering. They'd known what's up."
She turned to look off in a daze. "Well, it's too late now. Everything is all fucked up now."
"You're just finding you're way. You've never had a real relationship before and I think girls rarely experience two guys vying for their love at the same time."
"Yeah. Well, I can't seem to get over Lewis after he broke me and Roman has a control over me that I can't stop no matter how hard I try. Honestly, I really don't want to stop him. I just feel like I'm doing something bad and want to be able to say I tried."
"Damn, I hope I get some dick like that. Love it, but hate."
"Minus the second guy." She rolled her eyes and sat up. "I'm so hungry."
"Me too, but Ali's cooking since Lewis has refused to leave his room?
"And cookies. Oh! And cheesy bread. Mmmm."
We went off to sate our hunger.
I tossed and turned as I did every night since Emery and I broke up, but for some odd reason it wasn't out of the agony I usually felt. It was out of pleasure. Someone was stroking my cock, making the pressure build, begging for release. I peeked my eyes open, my sight blurry. Through my blurry vision, I saw blonde short hair bobbing as she rubbed her clothed core over my shaft. She straddled me, but still in my sleepy daze I couldn't believe she was really here.
She leaned closer so I got a closer look at her face. "I can be."
"Ali? What the fuck are you doing?" I asked, pushing at her to get off me.
"I'm trying to be what you want. I can be exactly what you need."
At that moment, I realized this bitch was bat shit crazy. She had on a wig that resembled Emery's hair. She had what I thought was writing on her arm, but at a closer glance, I saw it was tattoos. She also had on the shirt I had dressed Emery in the night she got drunk.
"Ali, get the fuck out of my room."
"I thought this was what you wanted. Emery doesn't want you so I thought I'd give you something close, but better. She wasn't enough woman for you."
"Ali, you need fucking help. We've been through this. I love Emery. Only Emery! Get that through you're thick fucking skull! I don't want you!"
She slowly climbed off of me. "N-no. B-but I did this for you. I changed for you!"
I sat up on the edge of my bed. Never had I ever felt uncomfortable about my nakedness until she stood in front of me. Granted I had on boxer, but it still wasn't enough. "You did it for you, Ali. I told you how I felt and you still refused to accept it. You got fucking tattoos?" I knew I was being harsh, but she wasn't getting the point.
Tears weld in her eyes. "They're fake. I just wanted to be your fantasy. I wanted to be her for you."
"I don't want a cheap knock off. I want her. and she doesn't want me so..." I walked to the door and opened. She hesitated for a second, a soft sob escaping her as she walked past me. For a second, I felt bad, but I just didn't feel that way about her. I tried being nice. When she got outside the door, she turned to look at me, but I didn't wait to slam the door close and lock it.
I sat on the edge of my bed, lowering my head into my hands.
Can this shit get any worst?