I was stocking our new shipment of books on the shelf while I thought about what happened with Lewis. I didn’t tell anyone about what he said, but his words swirled around my head like a tornado. My only thoughts in response was that maybe Ryan was right. I needed to focus on school and it seems I keep finding myself deeply involved in more and more drama. It’s time I get uninvolved.
God! My life is so much more complicated than I thought college life would be.
“Emery?” Kyle startled me, making me drop the book in my hand. “You’ve been holding that same book for a full two minutes now. You okay?”
I shook out my wandering thoughts. “Um...Yeah. Yeah! I’m great.”
He looked like he wasn’t buying it but didn’t say anything about it. My day went by very slowly which only gave way to thinking. I knew what I had to do, but it was just one step from completely dropping out to avoid this madness: I had to move out. I had to leave.
I drove home thinking about how I was going to tell everyone about me moving out. I just hope Ryan wasn’t so mad at me that he wouldn’t want to move in with him. I hope Eli wouldn't be too angry that I was leaving again. I’m finally trying to do something right. Think with my head and not my heart although my heart was ripping apart at the thought of not living in with the gang anymore. It was going to be hard, but it needed to be done. I had to get my life on track.
When Lewis kissed me, I felt it. My heart speed up, the tingling in the pit of my stomach. I still felt the butterflies. Roman was dominating, but he made me feel like the only woman in the room, like I was all he ever wanted. At this point, I needed to put all this on the back burner. First things first, tell the guy I’m sleeping with that this arrangement is over.
I opened the door to a quiet house. It seems that, even though six people live here, we never seem to be here at the same time except movie night. I went to my room and flopped on my bed. after dropping my stuff on the floor. The book store has been busy this last week and my feet were killing me. I heard the front door closed and I knew I had to do one more thing before I could finally get some rest. Roman usually comes home around this time and since everyone was still out, it was good timing.
I got up and dragged myself to his room before I got too comfortable, partially tired and partially dreading this conversation I was about to have with him. I didn't know what direction this conversation would take. He felt like he had some type of possession over me so I kind of knew how he would react. I peeked through his cracked door to see if he was decent before I barged in on a very naked Roman. If I did, we wouldn’t be talking at all and I wouldn’t get any sleep.
He wasn’t there. I pushed the door open and saw the curtains billowing at his slide door. I started towards the door in search of him until something in my peripheral caught my attention. I turned my attention to Roman’s walk-in closet. I squinted between his hanging clothes to try and make it out without invading his privacy. There was something that was hanging on the back wall that I couldn’t quite make out. Curiosity got the better of me. As I stepped closer and pushed his clothes back, it became much more clearer. It was a board that was filled with information about me...about my mom. There was red yard that went from pin to pin. Everything from my dad’s accident to everything that I told him about my stepdad. My life was pin to a board and Roman had been collecting information on me all this time. Here I was worried about invading his privacy and he push-pinned mine for his own personal amusement. I don't understand why he’d do this to me. I suddenly became light-headed and tears blurred my eyes as I choked on sobs. My heart fell out my ass. I knew he was an asshole, but who thought he’d go this low. I needed to know why. Why make me love you only to use me? Why talk down on Lewis when you were hurting me even more than he did.
I snatched the picture of my dad down then another and another until I was ripping the board from the wall, stomping it into pieces. I was a sobbing mess on the floor of this bastard’s closet, looking at the torn up pieces of my life until anger began to replace the betrayal I felt. I picked myself up from my pity party and went looking for that son of a bitch. I ran to the open slide door only to find it clear. I only became more infuriated when I couldn’t find him.
“Where are you, you son of a bitch! I know you’re here.” I looked around the quiet living room and dining room, anger coursing through my veins.
I felt cold metal press against the back of my head. “Look at who we have here.” Her voice was filled with some much malice.
“Ali?” I tried to turn to face her.
“Ah, ah, ah. You feel this pressed against your head.” She nudged my head hard. “It’s called a gun. Move and I’ll blow your fucking head off.”
Fear replaced all the anger I just built for Roman. “Ali? We can talk about this. Just put the gun down.”
“Talk? Talk! You took him from me! He was mine and you stole him, Bitch! Now, I’m going to steal something from you.”
“Ali, please. I don’t want Lewis. I haven’t been with him since he’s been with you.”
“Bullshit!” She threw some printed pictures on the table beside me. There we were, standing in the rain, kissing.
“Looks like someone lied,” she tsked. “Guess I’m going to have to teach you a lesson about touching things that aren’t yours.”
“Wait-” Everything went black.