The rest of the school week went by in a blur. I had my usual therapy appointments with Katelin on Tuesday and Thursday, in which we talked more about my depression, trauma, and just about what was happening in my life in general. Every day during lunch at school, I would hang out with my friends at our usual table, just like we always have. It was just nice to go to school, hang out with my friends, and not have people talk about me or poke fun of me whenever they saw me. No one looked at me like that anymore, and the fact that I haven't seen Marci nor Carter at school was a bonus.
Prom tickets were going on sale next week, and so all the seniors were beyond excited. Prom was during the last week of May, and so Phoebe had been nonstop rambling about wanting to go prom dress shopping soon, seeing as we would all be getting our tickets next week. So she, me, Asher, and Kourtney were planning to go downtown sometime next week, to go shopping.
Overall, I was starting to feel more like myself again. I still had moments where I struggled to get out of bed and do my daily routines, but it was easier now that I had proper support. The medication was also starting to kick in, making my mood easier to handle, because I wasn't spiralling back into the dark place I had been before my hospital stay. The therapy sessions with Katelin on top of that were also extremely helpful.
I've also been hanging out with Preston more. We've hung out a couple of times this week after school, once at his place and once at mine. We talked about many things, joked and laughed, and overall, we were slowly slipping back into our usual groove, and I was content about it.
"Should I get chocolate or vanilla frozen yogurt?" Asher pondered as he stood in front of the frozen yogurt machine, glancing back and forth between the two flavours.
"Why not get both?" Phoebe suggested with a laugh.
"Hmm, that's so true!" Asher exclaimed, "I could do half and half! You're a genius, Phoebe."
Asher pulled the lever on the machine, filling half of his cup with vanilla frozen yogurt, before filling the rest of his cup with chocolate.
Phoebe smiled triumphantly, "why, thank you very much, Asher."
Kourtney snorted, "I would call her a genius...it's just common sense."
"Hey! I am a genius!" Phoebe feigned hurt. I smiled crookedly and shook my head at the three of them.
The four of us then moved to the toppings station with our frozen yogurt, where we sprinkled toppings over our frozen yogurt. Asher decided to put a million different things on top of his yogurt, while I opted for sprinkles and caramel sauce on my cake batter-flavoured frozen yogurt. Then, the four of us paid for our food and sat down at an empty table near the window.
"Oh my god, I have to show you the stuff Daniel and I bought for our baby's nursery the other day!" Asher exclaimed after a few bites of his frozen yogurt, pulling his phone out of his pocket, "Daniel found this super cute teddy bear while shopping, look!"
"Awe! It is really cute!" Kourtney gushed at the photo Asher showed us on his phone. The picture was of Daniel, smiling goofily while holding up a large teddy bear with brown fur and a golden ribbon tied around its neck.
"I know right! And look how small these baby clothes are! And the bottles! And the furniture! It's all so cute!" Asher groaned. He flipped through a few more photos, showing us all the items he bought, "god if Daniel and I weren't tight on money, I would spoil this baby rotten."
"Your due date is coming up, isn't it?" Phoebe asked, "like, eight weeks or so?"
"Yeah, my due date is June 30th," Asher nodded, "though, my doctor thinks I'll have the baby sooner than that. Either way, I'm either going to give birth before or after graduation."
"Better hope you don't go into labour the same day as graduation. That would suck," Phoebe laughed lightly.
"Yeah, having your water break while you're on stage getting your diploma isn't very ideal," I chuckled.
"Ugh, I pray this baby comes out any time around my due date, except for that day," Asher groaned, "definitely don't need all that attention. Honestly, I was kind of hoping to have a home birth, but Daniel is against that idea."
"Why is that?" Kourtney raised a brow.
"Because he says giving birth at the hospital would be better and safer. I know he worries, but at the same time, everywhere I go I always get people looking at me with these awful looks just because I'm pregnant at a young age. Just like when I was baby shopping with Daniel the other day. The lady who worked there wouldn't even help me, or spare me the time of day and yet she helped other queens older than me who came into the store. I'd rather not be judged at the hospital where I'm actively trying to give birth."
Asher shook his head with a sigh, eating another spoonful of his frozen yogurt, "Daniel and I argued about it. When I go for my next appointment I'm going to ask my doctor what she thinks. If she thinks it's safe enough for me to have my baby at home, then I'm going to, and Daniel won't be able to talk me out of it."
"Yeah, that's an understandable reason for wanting to have your baby at home," Kourtney said, "if I was in your shoes, I'd probably want to do the same thing. It's kind of frustrating, honestly. Why do people think they have the right to judge other people and what they do with their lives? God, people expect us queens to be perfect all the time or something. They hold us to such high standards and yet at the same time barely have any respect for us. It's stupid."
"Yeah, I agree with you there," I nodded my head, mixing my frozen yogurt around in the cup with my spoon. It was true. Queens were treated unfairly in society. Our rights have gotten significantly better over the decades, but they weren't perfect. We, queens, are still judged and oppressed for many things, so we are still constantly fighting just to be treated like regular human beings.
The fact that we still had to argue about our right to our own bodies was ridiculous. But people liked to argue about it, mainly kings.
"Ugh, kings," Phoebe groaned, "you love them but hate them."
Asher snorted, "pretty much."
"Do you guys want drinks?" Kourtney asked us, "I bought pink lemonade!"
"Pink lemonade? Yes please!" Phoebe cheered, waving a slice of pizza in the air. Kourtney laughed, shaking her head before she walked out of the room.
"Hold still would you? I almost got face mask in your eye," I said with a chuckle. Phoebe quickly apologized, and I waited until she was finished taking a bite out of her pizza before I went back to painting the face mask on her face with a brush.
It was currently around ten in the evening. We were back at Kourtney's place, now dressed in our pj's. We had ordered pizza not too long ago and it had just arrived, and so as Phoebe and I were sitting on Kourtney's bed applying face masks onto each other, we were stealing slices from the box. Music lulled around the room from Kourtney's phone as she had it plugged into her stereo.
"Ugh, this pizza is so good!" Asher groaned from where he sat on the floor next to the bed, already with a face mask on that Kourtney put on for him, bangs pulled out of his face with a headband, "you know what's better than sex? Food. Food most definitely.
Phoebe and I laughed at him.
"Oh! That reminds me. I have a funny story to tell you guys!" Phoebe chimed in with a goofy smile. Kourtney then walked back into her bedroom, carrying a bottle of pink lemonade and four empty glasses, "Okay so, Joseph was staying at my place last weekend, right? My parents weren't home, and so, you know, since they weren't home we obviously decided to have sex. But it was so funny because when I was on top of him, he tried to flip me over, and we both just ended up rolling off the bed and onto the floor! I swear to god we spent a good ten minutes on the floor laughing our asses off."
"Oh god, you need some lemonade," Kourtney burst out laughing, along with Asher and I. She handed Phoebe a glass of pink lemonade, and Phoebe took it and thanked her with a wink.
"Thank you, my sweet."
Kourtney rolled her eyes, "that reminds me of the time I was at Kade's house once and his freaking brother came home without us realizing and he almost walked in on us. It was so embarrassing."
"I hit my head on the headboard once?" I chimed in, chuckling to myself at the memory, "Preston and I were in his room, and when we were going at it on his bed, he thrusted a little too hard and sent me flying back into the headboard. He felt bad and made sure I was okay, and even though it hurt, I still ended up laughing, and Preston joined in laughing as well."
"Oh wow, these stories are hilarious!" Asher burst out in laughter, smacking his hand on his leg, "god, I can't even tell you how many times I've embarrassed myself during sex. I'm so damn clumsy. Like, once Daniel and I were fucking in his bathroom, and he had me sitting on the counter, and I somehow fell into the sink and got myself stuck. How the hell do you get stuck in a bathroom sink??"
"I guess we're all just fucking clumsy, aren't we?" Phoebe snorted. When I was finished putting the face mask on her face, I took a sip of the lemonade Kourtney gave me, and then took a bite out of my pizza slice. Phoebe grabbed a clean brush and the face mask from me, preparing to put it on my face next.
"Well...while we're on the topic of sex," Asher said, his laughter dying out, "you guys have gotten insecure before while doing it, yeah?"
"Of course," Kourtney said, her brows furrowed, "why, what's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing...it's just," Asher let out a sigh, "now that I'm thirty-one weeks pregnant, I've just been really self-conscious about the changes my body has gone through. The stretch marks, the weight gain, my stomach...I don't like how I look. It's been causing some issues between Daniel and me because I barely let Daniel touch me intimately anymore."
"He always tells me how much he loves me and how beautiful I am, you know? But I still can't help but feel self-conscious when we have sex, so it kills my mood and now I just don't even want to be naked in front of him," Asher frowned.
I frowned. Asher took a sip of his lemonade and then bit his lower lip as he looked down at the glass he was holding.
"Hey...it's alright to feel insecure about how you look," Kourtney said, moving to sit down beside Asher on the floor, "your body is going through many changes, and your hormones as well. But it's a beautiful thing. And Daniel is right, you are so damn beautiful, and I think you should talk to him about the insecurities you're having. He may not be able to understand it fully, but I know he'll be there to help you."
"Maybe. I just hate burdening him with all my shit."
"You're his boyfriend, he's supposed to be there for you," Phoebe shook her head, "you're not being a burden. You guys are having a baby, so of course he'd help you and won't think you're a burden. And like Kourtney just said, it's alright to be insecure. We've all been insecure about our bodies at some point, and still are."
I nodded my head in agreement, "Yeah. I may not be pregnant or anything, but after what happened with Carter, I have been feeling pretty insecure with myself lately. Not just because of my looks, but with relationships in general. Honestly, the thought is pretty uncomfortable for me to think about, so I can understand how you're feeling, just in a different context."
"Yeah, and you have every right to be insecure about that," Kourtney told me, "Carter is such a damn asshole. I'm glad he got his ass kicked by Preston and I'm glad he got suspended. Though, he definitely deserves more than that."
"Listen," Phoebe started, raising her glass of lemonade in the air, "we are all fucking beautiful in our own ways, and we deserve all the goodness in the world, especially you two with what you guys are going through right now. We're badass queens who will take charge of our own lives and be victorious in doing so. So cheers to us!"
I smiled crookedly. The three of us raised our glasses along with Phoebe, and we clanged them together while cheering as loud as we could.