I heard rustling somewhere around me, but I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. My head was throbbing and my body felt heavy, and I just didn't want to wake up.
But something felt wrong. I had that deep, sad feeling in my chest but my mind was too fuzzy to remember anything at the moment.
I buried my face in the pillows to try and sleep the feeling away. As soon as I breathed in, though, I got a huge wiff of some floral smelling laundry detergent.
All of my sheets smell like vanilla like I do, not flowers.
I immediately sat up, but fell back down because I got dizzy. After rubbing my head for a bit, I tried again and this time succeeded.
I gasped loudly which caught Emory's attention who was pulling clothes out of a drawer. She turned around and the towel she had wrapped around her almost fell off, but she caught it with a blush.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you?" She said in the sweetest, most apologetic voice.
I just stared at her for a few seconds, trying to figure out why I would be in her room. I got sidetracked by her wet hair that was dripping down her shoulders and chest, though.
I followed one droplet from her neck to her collarbone and got disappointed when it disappeared under the towel in the middle of her chest. A welcome warmth blossomed in me.
When she giggled, I snapped out of it and looked back up to her face. "Sorry, what?" I ask.
She suddenly frowns which makes me worried. "Do... you not remember what happened last night?" she asks carefully.
Huh? What is she talking about? Wait, did we have sex or something? No, that's not it. Even drunk, I wouldn't do that to Layl- shit. Shit, shit SHIT.
All the memories of what happened last night came flooding back in and it hit me so hard I doubled over with my head in my hands and groaned.
"Yeah, now I remember," I sigh.
Just the thought of it all brings tears to my eyes. My rock, my fucking life, isn't mine anymore. And worse, it's not just any random dude, it's him that corrupted her. God dammit.
Seeing my depressed state, Emory hurries over to my side and takes me in her arms. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I just-"
I pushed her away for a few reasons. First, I don't like sympathy, especially not since she thought me crying was her fault. Second, her being in only a towel and the fact that the water that was getting on me felt good since I was so warm, was extremely tempting and I didn't want to do anything I'd regret.
"No, stop right there. Don't say you're sorry because you didnt do anything wrong," I say, wiping the tears off my face. "I'm fine, see?"
She bites her lip and uses her fingertips to dry my cheeks. "You don't look fine to me, " she whispers.
I sigh, turning my face away, but she keeps her hand on it. "Okay, I'm not fine. But you don't have to help, I'll just go home and-" I cut myself off when I realize there's no way I can go home. Cavens definitely pissed about it and has told our parents by now. Oh God, they're going to kill me. Shit, I really did not think this through.
I accidentally let out an aggravated groan followed by a "shit" under my breath when I realize I'm still with Emory.
I stay quiet after that, hoping she'll let that go, but she ends up putting two and two together. "You can't go home, can you?" she queries hesitantly, turning my head to face her, but I close my eyes tight, more tears threatening to spill over.
"I know the guy that you beat up in the guest bedroom is your brother, and I'm sure that other girl is your girlfriend and they had some sort of affair. Is the reason you can't go home because of him?"
"Was," I say quietly. "She was my girlfriend. As for the last part, it's... complicated."
"Blake, I can't help you if you don't tell me something," she continues in a sad tone.
Dammit, empathy. Why can't people just mind their own business? I finally take her hand away and move to get up from the bed. "You don't need to help. I'll be fine, I just... I just need to figure some things out."
But she isn't going to let me go that easily. She grabs my wrist before I can leave. "Why don't you want me to help? I- I thought you trusted me." She says, her voice broken. I turn back to see that now she's on the verge of crying.
Fuck, now she's sad because of me. Dammit, I hate to see her cry and get all emotional on my behalf. I can't just leave her like this.
"Emory, I'm okay. I don't think this is something that you could help a lot with. Please, I can't." I plead.
Her grip holds firm. "Try me. I want to do anything that I can for you, no matter how insignificant."
"Why?" I ask, suspicious that someone would actually put their time into comforting me when they could be doing literally anything else.
"Because I care about you, Blake."
My eyes widen and a few more tears escape. She does? She cares, about a worthless girl like me? Who has nothing? She barely even knows me, but she cares. "You do? Really?" I ask.
I know it seems foolish to get so worked up and all just over someone who wants to be there for you when you're sad, but for me it's pretty much a first. Only Layla ever comforted me, and it seems like all that was just a lie.
So I can't really trust anyone anymore, but I really want to trust Emory. And she's always only been kind and understanding and caring towards me. But then again, so was Layla, up until the last few weeks.
But if I keep going with this mentality, then it won't allow anyone to even attempt to get close to me. At the same time, if I do, it just makes it easier for them to hurt me.
I want to believe Emory is different, but how can I after all I've been through?
"Yes. I really care about you and I want to know what's wrong and I want to be able to help you with it. So please, let me," Emory offers.
And that broke me. Those few little sentences sent me balling in her arms, ranting about my whole life from my mom, to my dad and then step mom and Caven to Layla and then now, all of it. Even more than I ever told Layla.
I can't believe I did it, but I did, and hopefully it's a step in the right direction. To healing. Hopefully Emory will become someone I can count on, and who I can trust to be there.
I'll try my best to be there for her too. I know that something about the fact that she used to go to Blaire makes her feel some type of way, and I want to know why so that maybe I can help her as well.
And since I have nothing else that brings me any sort of happiness in my life right now, I have to do everything I can to keep this thing with Emory going. Even if it means spilling my entire life with her, so be it.
I'm not sure if I'm just that desperate to have someone in my corner, or if I cherish our relationship that much but it doesn't really matter. I don't want to lose her, too. With everything going on, I can't lose her.
And it's not even just that. I like her a lot and she's just such an amazing person that I would want her to be my friend even if my childhood was perfect.
Thinking about her gives me good feelings and I could really use that. Not to mention she's definitely easy on the eyes, which is always a plus.
I'm not sure at what point we fell asleep, but I guess I must have been so exhausted by all those powerful emotions that I passed out.
I woke up surprisingly pleased that I had a sleeping Emory cuddled up against me with my arms around her.
It wasn't until I lifted the covers because I needed to get up to use the bathroom that I realized she never changed out of the towel she was wearing. And now it had fallen down to her waist.
I instantly looked away from her bare chest and covered her back up, then got out of bed, but the image was still stuck in my head. Not that that's a bad thing, I liked what I saw, it just seemed wrong.
Mostly because she was asleep, but it was only an accident so it's not really my fault. Then I got to wondering if she had intentionally not put on real clothes for the possibility of this happening.
But I remember that she is a good girl who is probably straight and just sees me as a friend and she would not do that on purpose.
Although it would honestly make me kind of happy if she did.
Okay, okay. Enough of these thoughts, I really need to use the bathroom.
After I did, I noticed I should probably take a shower and change clothes. I feel like I should ask first though, to see if she could lend me an outfit and if I'm allowed to use her shower.
But dammit, I'd also feel bad if I woke her up. Well, it is the middle of the day so I doubt it should be a problem.
So I go back to her room from the attached en suite and gently shake her shoulder until her eyes flutter open.
"Oh, hi Blake." She smiles at me and goes to sit up but I stop her, blushing.
"You probably shouldn't. Your, um, towel fell," I explain, slightly embarrassed. I hope she doesn't wonder how I know that. Oh shit, please don't ask.
When she looks down, her cheeks get red. "Oh, oops. Guess it wasn't the best idea to fall asleep in a towel," she giggles.
"Yeah. Well I was just wondering if I could use your shower and maybe borrow a change of clothes," I ask.
She makes sure the towel is covering all the important areas before she stands up. "Yeah, of course. I'll set you out a clean outfit while you're in there."
"Okay, thanks," I say and then go back to the bathroom.
I strip and make sure the water is nice and warm before getting in and washing up. I'm a little disappointed that I can't use my usual vanilla scented products, but I don't mind using hers. It'll make me smell like her which makes me happy for some reason.
While I'm rinsing the shampoo off my hair, I hear the door open so I tense up, ready to knock the shit out of somebody, until I hear Emory talk on the other side of the tinted shower door.
"I'm setting the clothes on the toilet lid, okay?" she says.
Something about hearing her voice and knowing she's so close while I'm naked does things to my body.
"Okay," I reply, my voice almost cracking.
"Do you need anything? You still sound a little stressed." She states and I mentally curse myself for being so damn obvious.
What I need is to fuck you so hard that I forget all the shitty things that have happened lately but I can't exactly say that.
"Yeah I'm fine. Just you being in the bathroom has me feeling some type of way," I say softly with a light chuckle.
"Oh! I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I'll go." She starts to open the door and I regret telling her that. I don't want her to think I'm that innocent.
"No, no. It's not an uncomfortable feeling. You're fine. It's actually the opposite, I think." Fuck, why did I just say that?
Shit, please please don't freak out. Ugh I'm such a dumbass.
But surprisingly all she says is, "Oh, okay. Well do you want me to stay till you're ready?"
God damn this girl really is the sweetest person ever.
"No thanks. I'm alright." Her staying in the room would not help my situation at all. I need time to cool down, my skin is on fire and my heart is in my stomach and a little lower too.
"Okay," she says before going out and closing the door behind her.
I let out a long breath and continue cleaning off while trying to think of other things than Emory or last night. Which is very difficult, but I manage.
I dry off and change into the black joggers and white tee shirt that she let me borrow.
I take one last look at myself in the mirror and sigh before heading out.
This is going to be a long day.