Let the Tears Fall

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Chapter 4 - My Muse

Yoongi pulled me again rushing through the crowd, the neon exit sign leading us to the door. I didn’t look back and once we were outside the cool evening air refreshed my warm cheeks flushed by alcohol and desire.

He let go of my hand and cupped my face with both hands staring into my eyes. Every moment with him felt like I was making a cherished memory. He pulled me close and finally placed his warm lips on mine for a sweet caress of a kiss under the stars. He pulled away and took my hand in his and we started to hurriedly walk down the street.

At this point, I would have gone with him anywhere. I didn’t know where we were going until I saw his bike. He climbed on and I got behind him putting my arms around his waist. The wind blew through my hair as I stretched out my arms and let myself feel like I was flying just like my heart was flying.

I wasn’t thinking of what or who I was leaving behind or the consequences of this night. I was drunk on him, we were drunk with love and desire. We rode for a while and everything looked more beautiful tonight. The street lights twinkled and the moon smiled down at us happy to witness two beings falling in love. We passed close to where I lived and I showed him the way. The universe was leading us together as if by magic.

We ran up the stairs eager to be wrapped up in each other’s arms. The moment we were in, he pushed me against the door and covered my mouth with his in a hungry kiss followed by quick pecks that playfully grabbed my lips between his becoming more insistent, his tongue finding its way into my mouth.

An uncontrollable desire welled up in me that I had never felt for another person. My body felt warm and my heart beat faster. Oh the taste of him was so sweet. I couldn’t get enough of his soft lips. I melted into his arms floating among the stars.

He kissed my neck leaving his mark on me as soft moans escaped my lips and hot sparks of desire welled up inside me. He smiled as I hungrily kissed his jawline, then his sweet neck that smelled do good. He put his arms around my back as his hands explored my body coming to rest on my behind pulling my body onto his. His hands moved down to my thighs and slowly up and under the hem of my dress. I wanted him so much that I couldn’t stop myself. I pulled him into my bedroom. The soft glow from the twinkle lights on my mirror bathed the room in romance.

I bit my lip in response to his mesmerizing gaze.

He wants me, I thought. There was a bond between us that defied logic. We had only just met.

He came in for a soft kiss making his way down my neck to my breast where he licked and suckled for a while then made his way down my body. My back arched and my chest rose and fell with an aching need. When I felt I would almost explode he finally entered me and I cried out with the desire for him. My eyes flew open in shock and surprise as I had never come so good. We panted with need both riding out our orgasm as he thrust powerfully in and out until I screamed signaling the pure release we both shared.

The sun was coming through the window. My mind hazing with sleep realized we had spent the whole night in each other’s arms. His fingers gently stroked my back as I succumbed to slumber.

“Jennie,” he whispered, “you are divine.”

I smiled as I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck.

“So are you”, I whispered back. We cuddled for a while as I fought to stay awake so I could enjoy the moment longer. It was pure bliss.

There was no going back and everything seemed perfect until he looked over at my nightstand and saw a picture of Jimin and me hugging while our faces touched. Jimin’s sweet smile and our happiness were clear to see. My gaze followed his and my heart sank. Yoongi wouldn’t look at me. He looked spooked like he just wanted to run away. It seemed to me he regretted being with me. He pulled away gently pushing me off him.

Yoongi put on his clothes and I covered myself with a robe. Just then we heard a noise at the door. Jimin walked in and looked from me to Yoongi. Yoongi walked up to him.

“Jimin, I took her home cause she was tipsy and I couldn’t find you. We went outside for some air but couldn’t get back in.”

His excuse sounded feeble even to his own ears. Jimin shook his head in disbelief at Yoongi trying to hide from what they had just done. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. Instead, he punched Yoongi in the stomach rage and sadness in his eyes. Yoongi bent over and Jimin punched him again in the jaw. Yoongi wiped the blood from his lips with the back of his hand and wrapped his arms around Jimin holding him tight. He never wished to hurt his friend, even if Jimin hit him.

Jimin looked like he was going to cry as Yoongi whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Jimin seemed to calm down as he pushed Yoongi onto the sofa. Yoongi quickly got up and left without looking back. I stood there not knowing what to do. I had betrayed Jimin with none other than his friend and roommate.

Yoongi - POV

Yoongi rushed outside trying to get away from the situation. He couldn’t bear the look of betrayal on his friend’s face. How could he have let it go so far?

We hardly knew each other. Why did it feel so right at the time? It was the alcohol. It made us do wrong things. Things that end friendships and break hearts. Why did I feel like my heart was broken too? Will Jimin even forgive me? And how can I forget the best and worst night of my existence? I couldn’t look at her with her big eyes brimming with tears. She regrets meeting me. She hates me now. I can’t face her. It was all my fault. I had an urge to draw the pain out of my soul by writing a song about her and the sweetest night of my life and the friend it cost me. I would probably never see her again but in order to forget, I had to put this painful night to rest.

Even after what happened, you are my muse and I can’t let you go. I am still drunk on you. I am wandering in this memory looking for you. That night he stayed up with his swollen lip from Jimin’s punch and wrote this song. One day she would hear it and know it was all about her.

Wine

I still couldn’t forget
The sweetness still lingers
I’m still not aware that it’s a dream
I’m wandering
I guess I’m just dizzy
You who are sleeping already, please don’t say a word
I’m used to the maze between us
I can’t bear it
Have a feeling so sweet
Like the awkward first wine we had
It’s bitter and painful but
I will hold them fully in my eyes
And let you go like the way they fall from my eyes
I’m drunk on you
I’m drunk on this night
In the memory of you being mean to me
I’m wandering in this memory looking for you
I’m just going to forget you
I want to know your heart
Just forget me, please
Baby, please don’t go

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