I am in love, irrevocably in love. Over the past few months, with him in my life, it’s been better. I feel wanted by him. Even if my parents no longer care, he cares. I’ve gotten used to the stares of people at school. Axel is a senior, and he’s dating a freshmen: me. I could no longer care about any of them, just me and him. Forever. He says that all the time.
Taking books out of my locker, I hear a cough next to me, and I instantly know who it is.
“Holly, hey, you want something?” I smile sweetly. Just one look at her face makes me want to punch it into oblivion.
I am angry: at my parents, people at school, my brother for not being here. I am constantly seeing red and the only thing that helps is Axel. Axel could have any girl, and he chose me.
Holly, she is a senior as well and slept with Axel before we started dating. The girls at school accepted that Axel was a guy who didn’t commit, until he committed to me and since then, every girl has become jealous of me. The queen bitch thought she was the fairest of them all and still thinks Axel should be with her.
“I like your skirt, where did you get it from? Goodwill?” she snarks and the girls behind her giggle. I join along with them, which makes them stop.
“That’s a good one. Where did you get that insult from? The book of basic bitches?”
I am about to deck her when I hear a deep and sexy laugh from behind me, arms wrapping around my waist and pulling my back to his chest.
“Hey, baby, you want to skip class and hang with me today?” He whispers in my ear, then he glances up to Holly and says, “I think in other words, my girlfriend told you to get lost, so do one.” Holly whimpers at his harsh tone and backs away to class, leaving me and Axel alone. He turns me around to face him.
“I don’t think I should. I’ve skipped so many classes this semester.”
“Loosen up, baby, here,” he says, handing me some pills from his stash. I swallow it, waiting for the effects to take hold.
The first time Axel gave me drugs, I was very reluctant to take it, but he knew I was in pain over trying to pay the bills and dealing with my dad and told me it would make me feel better, which it did. I know he only wants the best for me. He loves me, and I love him.
Once the pills kick in, I follow his lead, feeling light and bold and excited. He takes me to his house and starts kissing me passionately, ripping off my skirt and shirt, revealing my bra and thong Axel bought me. He always buys me clothes, particularly lingerie. He loved controlling what I wore everyday and it saved me a decision.
He groans at the sight of my body, and I push him onto the bed, feeling like I can do anything. I unbutton his shirt, still kissing him hard. He flips us over so he’s on top of me, undoing his belt buckle and unzipping his pants. When we have sex, it feels like my world could never get any better, he fills the hole I once had, left by my parents and Matt.
Waking up, I find it’s nine o’clock at night, and I shuffle in Axel’s grip around my waist. I had missed work again, but it doesn’t matter. I was going to quit anyway, I don’t need the money.
Business for Axel and me is booming, and I am getting much more than five hundred dollars. In fact, I now live with Axel, although I have to check on my dad everyday. I would be wasted too most mornings, and I would lay down next to him, dozing off on the floor. I like my life now, it feels good. More than good.
“Ax, I need to go to the bathroom,” I say, shaking him awake. He groans and lets me escape from his hold but I find myself missing his touch.
At school the next day, I am met with two familiar faces who sit down next to me in class. The teacher has yet to arrive so they begin to talk to me.
“Lex, we’re worried about you,” Jackie says, once my best friend. I couldn’t care less about her now.
Over the past few months, I moved away from them, keeping to myself or with Axel. I talked to his friends, who all liked me and I made friends with plenty of girls, rather to make them follow me. I became popular, walking around school like I owned it. Holly reckons that is her, and it was but I am more beloved now.
“Why?” I snap at her, not really wanting to engage in this conversation, knowing where it's leading.
“Axel isn’t a good guy. You know that. Why are you dating him?” Anna questions with a concerned look.
He said I didn’t need them anymore, that I had him, which is true. He is much better at helping me than they ever were and cares so much more.
“Get your fucking nose out of my business.”
They are taken aback and leave to other seats, soon replaced with freshmen guys who are terrified of me because of Axel. They probably owe him money, or something. They tense up immediately and avoid looking at me. At least some people can mind their own.
After school, I meet Axel in the parking lot, who tells me we have a party to go to tonight and I start to get ready at home. Picking me up again and arriving at the party, we do our usual rounds.
“One more, baby, come on,” Axel exclaims, shoving another shot down my throat. The other guys hoot at me and I swallow, feeling the liquid ecstasy burn my throat. I could see why my dad is an alcoholic. It tastes fucking good. I begin to get up, dust my skirt off and head to the kitchen of whoever’s house with Axel following me behind. “Let’s go upstairs.”
“I’m tired, Ax. Another time,” I say in a drunken daze.
I gasp when I feel Axel’s hand slam against my cheek. I whimper at him, my hands on his chest.
“I’m sorry but I wasn’t asking, baby. Now go upstairs and be ready for me.” I hastily follow his commands, dazed and too high to feel much pain.
I find a room, lay on the bed and wait for Axel. A few minutes later, he appears and pulls me under my thighs so that my legs are wrapped around his hips. He’s forceful this time, aggressive and dominant and possessive. We have sex over and over until my body aches all over. I fall asleep, cradled in his arms and I feel the ache between my legs begin to fade.
The next day, he profusely apologizes for how harsh he was being yesterday and I forgive him, knowing he is sorry, he was just in one of those moods and he loves me.
And I love him.