Is This Love Book 1: Questioning Yourself

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Chapter 22: The Reaction

“I can’t believe we’re home again.” I say to Jack.

“I know, It’s crazy. I’m glad we get to spend some time together this time.”

“Me too. I’ve missed you. What’s new with you?”

“ know that guy I talked with you about?” He starts.

“Yeah, your tutor?”

“Well, we’re dating now. His name is Dave.”

“I knew it would happen! I’m happy for you.” I state.

“Thanks Ily. We should focus on your problem though. What are you going to get Samantha?”

“I don’t know. She has like everything.” I sigh.

“What about jewelry?”

“I think her style is unique to her. like she buys it with her outfits. I don’t think I could pick out something she would wear often.”

“How about a watch? They can be worn on fancy occasions and for casual settings.” Jack suggests.

“Actually...I think that would work. We could find something classy enough though.”

“Let’s go in here. I’m sure the sales rep will find something perfect for her.” Jack guides me to a fancy jewelry store.

“I don’t know if I have money for this.” I say.

“Did you forget about the business commissions you’re getting?” He asks.

“Yeah I did.” I pull my phone out and call the bank. I clear a large purchase with them just in case I find a watch I want to buy. Holy shit. I have $15,000 more than last time I checked. I think I can afford any watch I’d want to get her.

“How may I help you?” A sales rep greets us as we walk to the display case.

“I’m looking for a watch.”

“What kind of watch?”

“ that is fancy but can be worn casually also.”

“How about this?” He pulls out a gold banded watch with diamond studs around the watch face.

“No, I don’t like the color gold. Do you have something that is silver with diamonds? Maybe a little thinner band also.” I try explaining what I would like to buy.

“Either of these?” He pulls out a couple watches that fit my description but aren’t right.

“Close, but it needs something unique.”

“We do on-site engravings on these ones over here.” He leads us to a case of more expensive watches.

“This one!” I say when I see the perfect watch. It is fancy enough to dress up. it would be a little fancy for everyday wear for me, but Samantha’s every day is still fancy. I’m sure she’ll wear it all the time.

“Excellent choice. You can write what you want engraved on this card.”

What should I write? I don’t know, is it too soon to get something saying I love her? I mean I really think I do love her. She has added so much meaning in my life. I have grown and discovered myself with her. I don’t want to scare her away though. And I definitely don’t want to get hurt. I have to think of something that has meaning but isn’t so straight forward.

I start writing ‘Samantha, You will always be My Queen. -Ily’ Jeez, that’s exactly what I should put. I never realized my nickname could be an acronym for ‘I love you’. So technically I am writing it on it, but it’s my name.

“How long will it take? I know it’s Christmas in two days, but I would like to give it as a gift.”

“We can add a rush order fee for $250 and we can have it done in 2 hours.” The Sales rep says.

“Yeah, let’s do that.” Never in a thousand years did I think I would add a rush order for a couple hundred dollars. But I do have the spare money, and I really want to give it to her on Christmas.

“The total will be $8,467.21. How will you like to pay? We offer zero percent financing for 24 months if you qualify.” He adds.

“No, I’ll use this.” I hand him my bank card.

The purchase goes through and I sign for it.

“Thank you very much, It comes with a lifetime warranty. You will be able to pick it up, completed in 2 hours.

Jack and I decide to go out for lunch to blow time waiting for the watch to be done.


“I hope you enjoyed your day with Jack.” Samantha says when I return to the hotel room.

“I did. It was so nice to catch up. I really missed him.”

“You know who I missed?” Samantha questions.


“You.” She says pulling me to her and kissing me.

“You’re so cheesy.” I giggle.

“Only for you.” She responds genuinely with a grin. “Are you ready to visit your parents tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I think I’m going to tell them about us.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, they seemed to love you on Thanksgiving. And they love me, and you’ll be with me also.” I contemplate the list of reasons for and against coming out to my parents. “Plus, I’m an adult. They should know the real me.” I add.

“I agree. I will keep the hotel room, just in case they respond unfavorably.”

“I really don’t think that is necessary. My parents are so kind, I doubt this will be an issue for them.” I reassure Samantha.

“Either ways. I’m here for you, My Pet. I will support you through everything.” Samantha tackles me onto the bed.

“Thank you, My Queen.” I wonder what they would think if they knew I was Samantha’s submissive? I laugh to myself. That won’t go over well. I don’t think many people understand the depth of connection we have. It’s more trust than I knew was possible. I trust her to control me. I trust her to do what is best for me. And she trusts me in return to let her know when something is wrong.

“What are you thinking about?” Samantha asks.

“Just if people knew the type of relationship we have.”

“And that is funny to you?”

“The idea of people not understanding is. They have no idea about the deeper connections that are possible. And I do, thanks to you, My Queen.” I smile again and give her a kiss.

“You’re welcome, My Pet.” Samantha says seriously, “I want you to calm yourself and breathe deep until you fall asleep. You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow.”

“I can do that.” I snuggle into Samantha’s arm.. This always calms me. Well, calms or excites. Samantha is right though, it will be a big day tomorrow. All I want is my parents to understand and accept the real me. I’ve grown and changed so much since I left. I’m no longer the unaware farm girl. I have become myself since I left. I hope they understand that. The basics of who I am are the same. My values are the same as I was taught. The only thing that changed is I discovered what kind of person I’m attracted to. It’s made me happier, they will understand. I drift off in thought.


Mom greets us with open arms and excitement. “I’m so happy to have you back again sweetie. And I’m glad you brought Samantha as well. I’d hate to have her spend the holidays alone.”

“Thanks mom. I have some news to share with you and dad.”

“Well then, come along. We have a gift for each of you.” She hurries us to the living room.

“It’s only Christmas Eve mom. We are staying the night, we will be here for Christmas.”

“It’s okay dear, it’s nothing much, just tradition.” Dad says handing us each a gift.

“I have something to share with you.” I say.

“Open them up first.” Dad insists.


We open our present, low and behold , it’s a pair of pajamas. This year they are a green flannel. I can’t wait to see Samantha tomorrow. I glance at Samantha. She is sitting with a fake grin on. I don’t think she knows what to think. She would never wear anything like this willingly. Good thing it’s for my family.

“Thank you.” She responds politely.

“We will all wear them tomorrow and match!” My mom shouts excited. She always loved our matching pajamas every year.

I take a deep breath. Samantha squeezes my hand for encouragement. “Now, it’s time I share my news…Samantha and I are dating.”

“I knew this day would come. You are of age. So tell me, who’s the lucky guy?” My mom cheers. Gods, really?! She doesn’t get it. How else can I say it? We have sex? Way too much to tell them. Umm…let’s try this again.

“We are dating each other.” I say, clarifying my previous sentence.

“I see…” she responds.

The room stays awkwardly silent. I don’t know what else to say . Should I elaborate more? I think they got what I said. Why are they silent though? I thought they would be happy and excited for me. I finally found someone to love.

My dad breaks the silence by standing up. I see pure anger raging inside him for the first time. “How dare you corrupt my daughter.” He bellows at Samantha, “we opened our house to you and invited you for the holidays, and this is how you repay us? You have corrupted my precious girl. Get out of my house now. You better hope I never see you again!” he threatens.

Tears well up in my eyes. How could they not understand? They are supposed to love me.

“This is all my fault,” mom chokes out between sobs, “I should have taken you to church more. I should have made you come with.”

“Mom, this has nothing to do with church.” I say.

“It has everything to do with it. I’ve failed you, your faith is weak and Satan was able to tempt and corrupt you. What about Jack? You spend so much time with him. You must like him.”

“Yeah, like a friend. Oh, and he’s gay too.” I add. Shit, I just outed him to my parents also.

“Satan has taken over this town. We must get you to church at once.” My mom walks towards me.

Samantha stands and guards me, “I know this was not what you were expecting to hear. This was hard for Ileana to say. I know you love her. I beg you to look into your hearts and accept your daughter. She is still the good woman you raised.”

“I know she’s the same girl who left! You tainted and twisted her morality! This is all your fault wench! Get the fuck out of my house!” my dad shouts at Samantha.

“If you kick her out, you kick me out. Can’t you be happy I found love?” I plead to them.

“This isn’t love sweetie, it’s lust at best. Satan has tempted you and your weak faith allowed you to cave in.”

“That’s not it mom, I finally found someone to make me happy, just because she doesn’t have a dick, doesn’t mean it’s not love. If you can’t accept me, I’m gone. Bye.” I hold back my tears as best as I can. I grab Samantha’s arm and lead her out.

As soon as we reach the car I collapse. I can’t control the tears flooding from my eyes. “how could they do this to me? I thought they loved me.” I sob into Samantha’s lap. She runs her hand over my back.

“I’m so sorry, Ileana. I was hoping everything would turn out good. I wanted it so badly for you. They do love you, that is why they got so angry. They just don’t understand yet. Give them time and keep hoping they will one day accept and understand the true you.”

There is no strength left in me to respond.

“I’m so proud of you, My Pet. You defend yourself Against your parents; that takes more strength than almost anything in this world.”

She’s proud of me. I smile and cry more. This time there is a mix of happy and sad tears.

“It will be tough trying to talk to your parents for a while. I will be here every step of the way for you...”

That’s the last thing I hear before my body puts me to sleep from emotional exhaustion.


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