Is This Love Book 1: Questioning Yourself

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Chapter 26: The Return

I skipped classes for the last two weeks. I don’t know what day it is, or even if I’ve eaten. I must have eaten something, otherwise I’d probably be dead. Oh, wouldn’t that be nice. To be rid of this pain and never worry about it again.

I hear a knock on the door. “Go away!” I shout.

“It’s Susan, from biology. I brought the assignments you missed the last couple weeks.”

“Fine.” I open the door and see Susan. She is a short, plump, African American. I remember hearing her say she came from Nigeria when she was three years old. She seems really nice.

Susan gasps and looks appalled as the air from the room escapes into the hallway. “What died in there?” She jokes at the smell, “You look awful. Can I help you with anything?”

“I died, and unless you can fix a broken heart, then no, you cannot help.” I respond.

“I believe I may be able to help, at least help circumstantially with the state of your apartment, your health, and some assignments. Girl, you really need to snap back into shape.”

“I suppose a little company would be nice.”

“Good, first things first. You NEED a shower.”

I groan.

“None of that now! Get your ass into the shower!”

I grab a towel and drag my feet to the bathroom. I turn the water on and wait for it to turn slightly warm. This might make me feel slightly better. I strip and step under the water. Yeah, that’s nice. Please wash my sorrows away, oh mighty water.

I stand under the water and try to clear my mind. Why did this happen to me? Why wasn’t I good enough? Tears start to roll down my face. Stop that. It’s time to start to straighten up. Everyone has heartbreaks. The words of encouragement do nothing to bring me solace.

I quickly wash up with soap and rinse off. After I turn the water off, I wrap myself in the towel. I don’t know what to wear. I don’t even know if I have anything clean.

I walk out of the bathroom and notice that Susan already has all of the garbage picked up and in three garbage bags by the door. The sight makes me feel better. “Thank you.” I say quietly.

“No problem girl. I’d do anything to help another from heartbreak. We have to stick together. Fuck those asshole boys.” She responds proudly.

“If only it were a boy I was trying to get over. It might be easier.”

“Ah. So you’re such a mess over a woman. Either way, fuck her! She’s the one who lost out. Let’s find you some clothes.”

We scrounge the room for clothes, I finally was able to find something to wear that didn’t remind me of Samantha. However, it did remind me of mom. I wonder what she would think of all of this. Would she let me back since I’m no longer dating anyone? What am I supposed to do after the semester? Tears start to well up in my eyes again.

“It’s okay, let it out.” Susan encourages the healthy display of emotion.

“It’s just, I don’t know what to do. My parants freaked out because I told them I was gay, and I am no longer with my girlfriend. After this semester I’ll be homeless until the next semester starts. I don’t even know if I want to continue school. I moved here for my girlfriend, but I’m going to school for my dream job.”

“That’s a lot. If you’re going to school for your dream job, you should not let a girl stop you. Maybe you should let that pain drive you to succeed. Your parents may come around still, it may just take some time. Also, if they don’t and you need a place to stay, just give me a ring and you can stay with me. Where’s your phone? I will put my number in it for you. If you need anything, don’t be afraid to ask.” Susan eases a couple worries.

“Thank you, you are so kind. I actually might need help getting caught up with my classes. Here’s my phone.” I toss it to her.

“That’s no problem, if you want, I can be over three to four evenings a week and help you. We are in most classes together. And your phone is dead, do you have a charger?”

“In the kitchen area, by the microwave.”

She plugs in my phone and waits for it to load. “Damn, girl! You have 15 new voicemails.”

“I don’t want to listen to them. I’m hoping my box fills soon so I won’t have to worry about it.”

“I’m not going to tell you how to handle your phone, but if you need me here when you listen to them, I can do that. I can bring loads of Ben & Jerry’s and junk food. Speaking of food, when is the last time you ate?”

“That sounds good. And I have no idea when I ate last.” I said honestly.

“In that case, I’m ordering a pizza to share, pepperoni okay?”


While waiting for the pizza, Susan helps gather all of the clothes into hampers and sets up the table with schoolwork. “We may as well get started on this if you’re up for it.”

“May as well, since it will need to be done anyways.”

“That’s the spirit.”


Susan helped me complete the semester by keeping me sane and grounded. She also tutored me and helped me catch up. I barely thought about Samantha since the break-up because I was behind and couldn’t focus on anything but schoolwork. Too bad that will all change now.

For summer break I am heading home to my parents. They seem excited that I started to talk with them again and that I wasn’t with Samantha anymore. Hopefully dad hasn’t hired help on the farm so I can stay busy this summer. I am relieved that I am able to return home after everything that has happened.

****Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed the first book. Stay tuned for the second book in this series, Losing Yourself. Please leave your comments and thoughts. Now it’s time for the editing phase.****


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