Is This Love Book 1: Questioning Yourself

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Chapter 7: The Date

“We’re here.” Samantha announces as the car comes to a stop in the parking lot of a strip mall.

“Ooh, are we going to a movie?” I say as I look and see the theater as the center attraction for the mall.

“No, I thought we’d pick out a wine at the liquor store.” She says seriously.

“Ah. I’m not much of a wine person.” I say as I get out, stretch, and start walking to the liquor store.

“Where are you going?” I hear Samantha call from behind me. She is standing in front of the movie theater door about twenty feet behind me.

“To get wine?” I say while raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

“I was joking. I thought it would be nice to see a movie with you.” She winks at me.

I smile and get butterflies when I see her wink at me. That was a pretty serious joke. There was no give in her voice. I wonder if her humor is always this dry.

Samantha waits for me to catch up to her and opens the door for me. “What are we going to see?” I ask.

“I’m not sure. I’ll decide when we get to the counter.” She responds following me into the theater.

“How about the comedy one? That looks funny.” I suggest as we stand in front of the lit up board listing their showings.

Samantha doesn’t respond to my question and continues to approach the sales counter. I don’t know if she didn’t hear me, was ignoring me, or she was busy thinking.

“Two for screen four.” Samantha says to the clerk. I look at the screen showings and try to figure out what movie we are seeing.

“Come.” Samantha commands as she walks past me. I instinctually turn and follow her.

“What movie are we seeing? Since you bought the tickets, I can get the snacks.” I offer.

“What snacks were you thinking?”

“Maybe popcorn and an iced tea.” I reply.

“Large popcorn and two medium beverages.” She says as she hands her card to pay.

I guess I won’t be paying after all. I wonder if all of our time together will be like this. I hope not, it makes me feel like a mooch. How long will I be hanging out with her? She has to go back home within a week. She probably only has the next couple of days left in town. Maybe that will be the end of our relationship. I can’t have it end so soon. Why do I feel like I need to be with her longer? I like her company but there’s something deeper. She makes me feel. What does she make me feel?

“Are you coming?” I hear Samantha call for me yet again. Jeez, I have to start paying more attention.

“Yeah.” I grab my cup and walk to the drink dispenser. I fill my cup with the iced tea.

“Take this.” Samantha commands as she hands me the popcorn. She fills her cup and starts walking down the hall to our screen. I follow her again, staying a couple feet behind.

I wonder if something is wrong. She seems distant or aggravated. She wanted to see a movie, didn’t she? I didn’t suggest it; she surprised me by bringing me here. Yet, she seems demanding and a little pushy.

Samantha picks seats towards the back of the theater and takes the inner. She then motions me to sit next to her.

“Is something wrong? Did I do something?” I ask figuring it would be better to know if I was the problem.

“No. It’s just that I don’t do this.”

“Do what?” I ask to find out what’s on her mind.

She stays silent for a minute and finally responds, “Date.”

Ooh this is a date! She must like me then. Does that mean we’re dating? Is this a serious thing? I’m not ready for that. I just met her. I haven’t dated anyone before. Why is all of this happening to me? Do I want to date her? No, I can’t. There’s no way I could actually have a girlfriend. This has gone on too long. I need to stop this before it’s too late. I feel my willpower leaving me each minute I spend with her. I need to get back in control of my life. I need to go. I need to clear her from my mind and everything will go back to normal.

I start to stand up and breathe heavy from the rushing thoughts. Samantha grabs my hand and looks at me with a worried expression on her face. “It doesn’t have to be a date. I shouldn’t have said that it was. We can just hang out. I’m not used to actually getting to know someone.” I see a small break in her tough armor through her eyes and I sit back down without breaking my gaze. Through her eyes I can tell she is agitated and maybe even slightly wounded from this.

“It’s okay. I’m not used to it either.” I say, trying to calm us both. We both end up relaxing a little and sinking into our seats.

The movie advertisements start with loud music and the screen draws my attention away from Samantha. I smile and realize that she is still holding my hand from when she stopped me from getting up. I take a sip of my tea and grab a couple pieces of popcorn. As I am snacking, Samantha appears on the screen in an advertisement for a new thriller movie.

“I can’t wait to see that!” I splurt out when I see her on the screen.

“I’m sure it won’t be that good. The outcome seemed kind of a flop to me.” Samantha explains and releases my hand.

“Well, I’d still like to see it, with you if that’s possible.”

“We haven’t finished filming yet. I’m on a break while they do some scenes with the other actors. However, when I get back I will be working on that until it releases in January.” I listen closely as Samantha talks. This is the first time I’ve really gotten to know a little bit of her. She is more complex than anyone I’ve ever known. “I don’t like to watch my movies either. I live with them for so long while acting that I get tired of it. The desire to watch diminishes the bigger role I have. I’m usually too busy to watch tv or films. I don’t even own a TV.”

“Why don’t you like movies? Why did you want to go to a movie today?” I ask, wondering why she’d want to see a movie with me if she doesn’t like them.

“I’m too busy with work and different businesses to watch things. They just seem like a distraction from reality and a waste of time. I wanted to go to a movie with you because that seems like something people do together. Honestly, I don’t even know what movie we’re seeing right now. I just like the number four.”

I can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness I just heard. Samantha is such a mystery. How can she seem so omniscient and not have a clue.

“What’s so funny?” Samantha asks with a smile on her face.

“It’s just...I don’t know,” I chuckle again, “it seems ironic. I have never met anyone like you.”

“Shhh.” I hear someone direct at us. I didn’t realize the movie had started. We both turn and begin to watch.

The scene had a woman running through the woods. Oh great, it’s probably a horror movie. Just as I had that thought, the woman triggered a trap that caught her leg. I look away and notice Samantha was watching me instead of the movie. I turn back to the screen and eat some popcorn.

The woman got free from the trap and continued on her injured leg away from something. “Fuck.” I say as I was startled by another trap being set off and jump half out of my seat. Samantha holds my hand and helps me settle back into the chair next to her. It is not looking good for the woman. She now has an arrow in her arm and a fleshy leg. I don’t know how much more of this I can watch. I’m not a fan of scary movies.

The woman falls into a pit of spears and dies. What a movie. At least there is no getting attached to characters first. The scene changes to a man who gathers the corpse.

“Jear Desus, what kind of movie did you bring me to?” I whisper.

“What is Jear Desus?”

“Oh, it’s just something I say. Like dear Jesus, but Jear Desus instead.”

“Ah, I see. I told you, I didn’t pick the movie, I picked the screen.”

“Well, I’m not a fan of your choice, especially since it’s a scary movie.” I say and look away from the screen again.

“Is there something I can do to distract your mind for you?” Samantha says seductively. I blush and turn away. She grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers. She brushes her thumb over mine and then she raises my hand and kisses it.

What is happening? She just kissed my hand, that’s what. I smile and blush at her romantic gesture. Why would she do that? It seems like something cheesy people would do. Her hand is so soft in mine though. I never knew a simple touch from someone could feel so calming. Her kiss on my hand was so gentle; I wish it could be on my lips. I already know it feels great. Why does it make me feel so alive? Gosh, so much has happened today.

"What are you thinking?” Samantha asks.

“Not much.” I lie.

“Don’t lie. You have a big grin on your face that tells me you’re lying.”

“I’m just thinking of how much I’ve enjoyed your company.” I say trying to simplify the chaos in my mind.

“I enjoy your company also.” Samantha places her hand on my cheek and guides me into a kiss. The kiss deepens and I get warm and tingly all over. We continue kissing for a minute and I finally pull away.

What am I doing? How can I not resist her? I crave her lips on mine. When we kiss, there is nothing else in the world; my mind goes blank and everything seems right. My stomach fills with butterflies every time I think of her. What is happening to me? I never thought I’d be the one to make out at the movies. Yet, here I am. I’m nervous and anxious for what will come. Why am I nervous about the future? I’ve always known what I would do. I would take over the farm. But I don’t want that. Samantha doesn’t fit into my world. She is on another level. Who am I to someone like her? I must be a pawn in a silly game. However, I’ve seen a crack of vulnerability in her personal shields. She’s not as tough as everyone sees her. There’s something about her that does something to me.

What is happening to me? I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. I can’t be a lesbian. Am I bisexual? I’m not attracted to guys romantically though. I don’t think I’d ever want to have sex with them. However, a woman? No, I can’t want that. Kissing isn’t sex. There’s nothing wrong with it...yes there is. It is wrong. I can’t feel like this. I have to stop myself. Why do I feel giddy every time I think of Samantha if it’s wrong? Why does my whole body react with a simple touch?

Samantha puts her hand on my knee. I close my eyes and place my hand on hers. Her hand on my knee, why does it feel so nice? Her touch is so comforting and exciting at the same time. My body seems to respond to her without direction from my head. Why did I put my hand on hers? I shouldn’t have done that. My body reacted to her and wanted to put my hand on hers, so it did.

What if this progresses? What will I do? What do I want to do? I don’t know how to do anything. Heck, I didn’t even know I could kiss. Maybe I can’t. What if I suck at it? Should I ask her how I am? Would that be weird?

I don’t even know what’s happening in the movie anymore. I really do have a problem with daydreaming. Although, I’m not daydreaming, I’m thinking of Samantha. I can easily block everything out and focus on my thoughts. I don’t even know how much of the movie I’ve missed.

“What’s happened in the movie?” I ask Samantha hoping that she was paying attention.

“I don’t know. I’ve been watching you think. But that guy, he’s the one who makes traps and kills a bunch of people who wander off the path. Right now a group of college kids are camping and have encountered a few traps.” She explains.

“Am I a good kisser?” Shit, did I just say that? How could I just blurt that out? What am I thinking? Well, it’s too late now I guess. Hopefully her response is good but honest.

“What?” Thank god she didn’t hear.

“Nothing.” I respond quickly.

Samantha smiles and kisses me. I follow her lead. At first it’s slow and tender and then speeds up to quicker kisses. She kisses my jaw line to my ear. “Mmm, yes, you are a good kisser.” She whispers.

Jear Desus, what is happening? Her voice felt like fire when she whispered. I’ve never felt anything like it before. My whole body is warm and tingly. She keeps getting more intense. I don’t know what is happening, but I like it. I like her. There’s no denying it. What makes me like her so much?

“Since we’re not watching the movie, how would you like to get out of here?” Samantha asks me.

Oh boy, what does she have planned? Is the night over? It’s only about 5PM. Am I going home now? Are we doing something else? I guess I’ll find out. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

***

The car is waiting for us when we exit the theater. “I was thinking we could swing by our new business.”

“Isn’t that in Los Angeles?” How could she think we can go to L.A. so easily?

“Yes, it will only take about 3 hours to get there. We can eat on my jet plane.”

Wow, she must be loaded to have her own plane. Like yeah, she’s rich...but holy crap! “I’ll have to call and ask my parents. I assume we will be gone at least one night then?”

“Yes. Don’t worry about asking them. I already did. Your mother seemed thrilled to hear you’d be hanging out with a friend.”

“When did you talk with my mom?” I question.

“Last night, when I left she was downstairs. I introduced myself and asked if you could get off work for a couple days and go on a trip with me. She seemed so happy that you had a woman friend to be girly with.” Samantha said with a wink.

Why does she do this? She controls everything. Who does she think she is; planning and deciding everything before I even have a clue what’s going on? I mean of course I would go with her, I do own part of the bar/club also. It would be nice to see it. But it’s like she just expects me to drop everything and follow. What about my clothes and personal items? “I guess, then. We will have to go to my place so I can pack a bag.”

“Everything is already at the hotel, if you don’t like the things, I can send for more.” She says with a smile. “I’m so glad you’ve decided to come with me to our business.”








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