I really am unhappy with my life. So many dreams washed away when my dad passed away a year ago. "I'm so proud of the woman you have become Laurie. You are strong and passionate. Don't let anyone take that strength away. I'm dying that's my path right now, but it isn't yours sweetheart. You don't have to stop living because of me. I want you to sell my bookstore and follow your dreams. You will be unhappy if you stay here. It's going to be hard to let you go, but I will always stay by your side every step you make in life. That's a promise my sweet girl. Come and give me a big hug. I will love you forever."
These were his last words when he silently passed away in his sleep right in my arms. I cried for months. Just didn't know how to live my life without him. Now, my life is an automatic impulse. I do everything because I must, not because I like it or want it. I just do it without complaining because that's how my dad raised me. I'm a strong and indendent woman.
I was watching through the large window of the bookstore when somebody walked in. A big smile appeared on my face. Yes, she's my sun for sure. "Hi Mace," I greeted her behind my desk. "Hi girl, oh what are you wearing now," she complained.
"A legging and a sweater,what's wrong with that anyways?" I asked her with a frown. "The legging is great, you have an ass to wear those, but the sweater is way to large for you." Mace informed me with a smirk on her face.
"You are a bitch, you know that?" I laughed. "Yes, I am," she laughed at my respons. "So I have some good news and some bad news," she said to me patiently. "Okay, give me the good news first then."
"You know that I had a lot of interviews the past few weeks and I got a respond from my first choice actually," I nodded so she could continue talking. "Well, they want me as there new employee," she said with a wide grin. "WoW that's awesome babe, congratulations!" I squeeled while hugging her. "So what's the bad news then?" I questioned her silently.
"The company wants me to move to New York. They have opened a new bussiness there and they want me to work there." Macy murmured softly. "Oh, okay, Yeah, I don't know what to say." I was silent for a moment. New York is so far away. But she needs to follow her dreams. "I'm really happy for you Mace, but I'm going to miss you."
"I had been thinking a lot lately and I know you aren't happy here, why don't you come with me? We can live together you know. You can have interviews there. I'm pretty sure you will get a job there with your degree."
"I don't know Mace. I can't leave the store behind. Dad worked so hard to built it up from scratch. Isn't that selfish if I would sell the last thing I have from him?" "Off course not Laurie, how can you even think that way about yourself. You are the most genuine, caring and hard working girl I've ever met. I just want you to be happy. You gave up so much when you took care of your dad. And even now he's gone you are still caring for his store. This isn't what he had wanted for you." She explained to me carefully.
"I don't know what to do Macy. I miss him so much." I said to her while my tears made there way down. "I know girl, I know, but eventually you will be feeling better. Just come with me. At least think about it, okay?" She caressed my arm gently. "Okay, i will, thanks for being my best friend, I love you so much." I said to her with a small smile. I hugged her one last time and Macy left, leaving me with my thoughts on my own.
What should I do now? She's everything I have here. My mother passed away when I was two years old. She had a hart attack. My dad raised me on his own so I only had him and Macy.
I hadn't had other friends back at school. Macy was the only one who truly knew me and accepted me for who I was. Macy was very tall and slim. With her long blond hair, the men were regularly falling at her feet. But she didn't want a relationship. Why a commitment when you can have every weekend a new hot guy in your bed. She had said to me with a wide grin.
I was such a prude. Instead of partying in the weekends I worked in a small bakery and worked for school. After a few years of hard work I received my degree. I always loved writing, reading, exploring new words. I was very good in finding new authors with promising stories. I always helped a few class mates with there tasks when they needed help. That's just me, always seeking the good in people. Always wanting to help were i can.
My teachers said to me that I should work for a publishing office because I could recognise talent very soon. I even was a very talented writer, but I never had enough time to wright my own book. Maybe someday I can try it again, but for now I need to make a choice.
This isn't what I wanted for my life. I studied so hard because I wanted a career of my own. Working hard for what I want had been always my ultimate goal. Macy was right. My dad wouldn't be happy to see me this way. Maybe I have to find someone for my dad's bookstore that would care for it just like I always did. Maybe then I can start my life over. I was already 28 years old, but I often felt a lot older. Before you know life will be over, my dad always told me.
I had to listen to my dad's wishes. He knew me better than I knew myself. It will be scary as hell, but I will take the step and move on with my life.
It's time to think about my own happiness now.