To Be Or Not To Be
Emma spent the next three days trying to decide just what she was going to do. She still had yet to talk to her mom about the pregnancy. She had even avoided doing face time.
What she wouldn't do to have just one drink. Subconsciously Emma's hands found their way down to her still flat stomach. It was the craziest feeling to her, to know there was a little person now growing inside of her.
Emma wished with everything inside of her that this was a happier time for her.
She was beyond happy she was going to have Darren's child. If only they were together for this. If only he had been there when she peed on that little stick that forever changed their lives.
Emma still had yet to message Darren back. He wanted to come see her. He wanted to come to the city. Emma felt like she should let him. She would never keep him from their child, but Emma wasn't completely sure about being in a relationship. How could she ever trust him.
Girls or now in their case women, would never be able to keep there dirty hands off him and he didn't seem to be able to keep them at bay any better than they could control themselves. Sure Emma understood their point of view, Darren was an extremely handsome man.
Emma sat back and thought about him. His dark wavy hair, perfectly flawless caramel skin, broad shoulders, and very defined muscles. Emma sighed, it was no wonder women wanted him. Emma wanted him, despite everything.
As she sat and thought of Darren, she gently traced her fingers across her stomach. Emma had made a doctor's appointment, it was later on in the afternoon. she would have her first ultrasound. She wouldn't get to know what the sex of the baby was yet, but she would get to hear the baby's heartbeat. Her heart skipped a beat. She never knew she could love a child before even knowing them.
And she did, she was so in love already with the small jelly bean of a baby that was growing inside of her. Emma smiled and fell asleep while caressing her stomach.
An alarm Emma had set on her phone woke her a few hours later. Emma jumped up from her chair and quickly got ready for her appointment.
When she arrived she filled out the paperwork the nurse handed her and sat down in the waiting room. Emma looked around at all the other women, in various stages of pregnancy. Emma watched as the woman across from her jumped a little and then smiled.
"How far along are you?" Emma asked politely as the woman rubbed her tummy.
"Almost thirty five weeks. He's bigger than I think I can handle." The woman smiled, and winced slightly as Emma watched her belly look like it was waving.
"Wow, I only just found out." Emma said quietly as the woman smiled at her.
"First baby?" The woman asked as she rubbed her tummy more.
"Yeah, how bout you?" Emma asked, she couldn't help the urge to want to feel the woman's stomach as she watched the baby flip turn and kick around.
"Oh no, it's my third. Trust me the pregnancy goes by way quicker than you think. Then out comes the little mini you." The woman smiled at Emma and Emma couldn't believe the woman had already gone threw this two other times. "Where's the father? If you don't mind my prying. Mine's at work, lucky dog, I get so bored up here waiting." The woman asked Emma.
"Oh, he's uhm, not around right now." Emma answered awkwardly. She really didn't know any other way to answer the woman. Emma knew Darren wanted to be here, at least she hoped he did anyway.
"Oh, no shame in that darling. You have a little miracle inside of you right now, growing and thriving everyday. That baby there will give you more unconditional love than you will ever get from anyone in your life. Trust me, man or no man, you won't regret that life right there." With her words Emma's heart swelled. She was glad she had talked to this woman. When the woman's name was called, Emma jumped up and helped her slowly rise to her feet. "Good luck honey, the best is only yet to come." Emma sighed and sat back down waiting on her name to be called.
After about another hour, Emma's name was finally called. She went to the back with the friendly looking nurse, who took her weight, temperature and blood pressure. Emma was wringing her hands while she waited to be seen by the doctor. It was the most anxiety ridden thing, laying back on the table in nothing but the pink gown, legs spread.
As the doctor entered, Emma's heart rate spiked. The doctor pulled on his gloves and settled at her feet and looked up at her all smiles.
"Hi, Ms. Smithart, I'm Dr. Glass, I'll be your attending obstetrician. First we are going to do a routine pap smear, check your breasts and then take a look at your little nugget there. You ready?" Emma gave a slight nod followed by the doctor nodding slightly. "OK now ma'am, relax, take a deep breath and try to take your mind off of this right here. You might feel a little pinch." As Dr. Glass went about his business doing his exams, Emma laid there trying her hardest to not think about the man in between her legs.
"OK, everything so far is going well, you ready for that ultrasound?" Emma let out a breath as the doctor helped her sit up. Emma hadn't even realized she had been holding her breath until then. Emma nodded once more. She was beyond ready to see her baby.
Emma was lead to a different smaller room, she recognized the ultrasound machine from seeing them on TV and there was a larger TV set up facing where she was instructed to lay back on.
The nurse took only a mere second before she had found the baby with her wand and Emma felt tears prick at her eyes. On the TV she could see her baby. It looked like a little gummy bear floating around.
The nurse smiled at Emma and pointed out to her the head, butt, legs and arms.
"You ready to hear the heartbeat?" The nurse asked and Emma nodded her head eagerly.
The heartbeat took over everything in the room. It was strong and steady. Fast. Emma had never heard anything like it before in her life. The tears she was so impressively holding back now flowed freely. The nurse left the sound of the baby's heartbeat flowing threw the room as she printed several picture's out for Emma. When it was finally over Emma grasped the picture's to her chest as she whispered thank you and left the office.
Emma sat at home just marveling at the ultrasounds in her hands. This made everything so real. It was really happening. And all she wanted to do was cry with joy and gush to her mother and Darren.
When Emma heard her laptop going off she went to it and answered the face time call from her mother.
"Hey mom." Emma quickly tried to brush the tears away from her face before her mother could see them. Too late.
"Emma, honey, what's wrong?" Her mother demanded as she inched closer to the screen like, it helped her see better. Emma chuckled.
"Nothing, I have some news mom." Emma without words lifted the ultrasound up to the computer's camera and waited until she heard her mother squeal in happiness. Emma lowered the picture and smiled wide at her mother.
"Oh, MY, really? Really honey is it true?" Her mother wiped tears from her eyes.
"Yes, I'm pregnant. Almost 10 weeks." Emma smiled.
" Is it-" Her mother cut her own question off. Emma didn't need her to finish to know what she was about to ask.
"Yes, Darren is the father." Emma smiled at her mother's reaction.
They spent the next three hours chatting and discussing happily what possible names Emma could use.
"So, does this mean you will move back home Honey? I want to live near my first grand baby." Her mother half pleaded.
Emma wasn't sure yet what she wanted to do. Emma shrugged and they talked for another hour or so before saying their good byes.
Emma fixed herself some dinner and sat and stared at the ultrasounds some more. Smiling, she snapped a picture of what she thought was the best one and sent it to Darren. Emma only hoped it made his day as much as it had made hers.
Emma found herself pondering whether or not she wanted to go back. Could she co parent with Darren? Could she do it without wanting more? Would they make good parents?
All theses questions and then some flew in and out of her brain the rest of the night.
Hey to all you amazing readers out there! I know I don't usually post on the weekends, but it's getting harder not t keep going. I hope everyone is enjoying this story as much as I am enjoying writing it! Drop a comment let me know what you all think. Hit that like button :) And as always stay AMAZING!