Tyler’s mother and I awkwardly sit in the waiting room while Josette and her mother have their alone time. I have no idea what the hell to do or say, I’m sitting her with Tyler’s mother. The mom of the piece of shit guy who almost beat Josie to death. I feel like I can’t breath, I don’t want to look or even speak to this women because I’m afraid something might slip out.
I lean my head back on the wall when I see Amy opening the door of Josette’s room and getting Gina’s attention. She stands up, clearly nervous and walks in the room shutting the door behind her. I let out a deep breath and get up heading down to the cafeteria again. I just can’t stop thinking about her, the way her lips feel, the sound of her voice, even when she’s crying. The way her eyes light up when she’s in my class. I sit at a table alone and put my face in my hands starting to overthink about everything.
When Gina walks in I feel my heart sink, I can’t stand to look at her. Not only because of what Tyler did to me, and the fact that he has been doing it for a long time. But that I cheated on him, twice. I look down in my lap and fiddle around with my fingers.
“Josie, I.. I don’t know what to say. I am so sorry, I can’t believe Tyler did this to you. And he’s been doing it for a long time?” She says sadly
“Yes.. I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t tell you, you would be so hurt and disappointed. He’s your only son, your only child.” I say with tears
“Honey I don’t care if he is my only son, or my only child. He was abusing you! I don’t know why, I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I never knew, or would have expected that he would do that to you. That is not the son I raised.” She says sitting on my bed holding my hand
“I don’t know what I’m going to do, I’m so terrified of him coming after me. The police officer said that a restraining order is taking place. He can’t contact me, or come within 50 feet of me. They are still trying to find him.” I say
“Oh god, I can’t believe this. This is crazy.” She says rubbing her forehead in frustration
“Are you going to go back to your classes immediately? Or do you want to take some time off?” Amy says
“I need to take some time off, but I don’t want to go back to New York. I just want to stay here, in my dorm room. I can’t have you be in danger either mom. If I’m with you, you could be in danger.” I say
“Are you sure?” She says
I nod my head and look at the both of them.
“I’m so sorry, to the both of you. I should have told you two sooner. But I just felt like it was okay and that I would get over it. And I was always so closed off, so I couldn’t tell anyone.” I say
“But why?” They both say
“Why did you let it happen for so long? Why did you accept it?” Gina says
“Well, I guess sometimes we just accept the love we think we deserve. And I always thought that, that was the love I deserved. I don’t know why.” I say
“But the thing is baby, that isn’t love. I’m sorry to say that, I know you don’t want to hear this. But that boy, Tyler doesn’t love you.” Amy says
I look down in my lap, tears filling in my eyes so quickly. My lip begins to quiver as I begin to cry. My mom and Gina pull me in a hug and hold me while I cry. I sob, feeling my heart race. I pull away wiping my tears, I take a deep breath in and slowly let it out. I lean back in my bed not being able to make eye contact with either of them.
“I appreciate you guys coming here and being with me right now. But can I be alone for a little while?” I say
They both nod and stand up, Gina leaves the room but before my mom leaves I stop her.
“Mom can you go find him and tell him I need to talk to him.” I say
“Your professor?” She says
I nod and she nods. She leaves my room closing the door behind her. A few minutes later, I see Professor Jones walking to my room. I take a deep breath and sit myself up, he opens the door and lightly smiles at me. I smile back and wave my hand over signaling for him to close the door and come towards me. He shuts the door and sits next to me pulling up a chair by my bed. At first we stay silent, all we are doing is staring at each other. We both start to speak up at the same time.
“Professor Jones-” I say
“Josie-” He says
“You go first” He says laughing
“Okay.. uh Professor please don’t get upset with me.” I say
“Why would I?” He says confused
“I told her, I told my mom about us.” I say nervously
“Wait what?” He says
“Well technically, she already knew about us a little. I told her how I did cheat on Tyler with someone and she said it was you. So I asked her how she knew, and she said because it’s obvious. The way you looked when she saw you, the fact that you followed me and saved my life. The fact that you are here waiting in the hospital for me.” I say
“How can I not? Josette..” He begins to say
“Call me Josie from now on, Josette is to formal” I say with a small chuckle
“Alright Josie. Of course I would be here, I can’t just leave you here. The thought of leaving you here, and him possibly coming back to try and finish what he started.” He says
“The police officer told me how a restraining order is taking place. He can’t contact me or come within 50 feet of me so that’s good right?” I say
“Of course, that means he will be arrested immediately if he does so.” He says sitting next to me
“But they can’t even find him, when and if they do find him they will arrest him. I can’t.. I wouldn’t be able see him though, if there ever is a trial for this or something. I can’t look him in the eyes now, after all of this.” I say sadly
“You say that now, but with time, you will heal. You will be able to see him and look him in the eyes without being scared or sad. Even if that takes 2 days or 2 week or 2 years. One day you will be able to.” He says
“Professor Jones, thank you. Thank you so much for what you did, I really am so thankful for yo- for that.” I say quickly changing my last words
“Since you want me to call you Josie, when we are alone or something you can call me Cyrus. That’s my first name.” He says smiling
“Only when we are alone or not in class?” I say with an eyebrow raised
“If people hear you calling me by my first name and not Professor, they will get suspicious. That’s just the way people are apparently.” He says with a sigh
I laugh slightly and nod my head understanding. We sit there quietly and stare at each other. My breathing starts to speed up with every single second his eyes are on me. He stares down at my lips and back up in my eyes. It looks like he’s about to lean in to kiss me but he speaks up instead.
“I want to kiss you more than anything right now. I want to feel your lips against mine again, but I can’t. There’s cameras in here. We can’t get caught, especially here. In a situation like this.” He says upset
“I know Cyrus. I want to kiss you too, so bad. But I know we can’t” I say looking away
He sighs standing up and walking towards the door to leave. I speak up quickly and say something I never thought I’d say to him.
“Cyrus I have feelings for you.” I say quickly causing him to stop dead in his tracks